what must i do my girlfriend hates me because of a rumour she heard?

Question

Im (28) i've been dating this beautiful girl (21) for two years 5 months now and last year she had an affair with this guy. i found that out when she came home from skool and she told me herself i was so hurt i had an ulcer attack because of the stress that took me to hospital for 2 weeks. i found it in me to forgive her though, and we moved on as if nothing happened. now i have been accused of sleeping with some school girl (16) and i told her about it even though i honestly didnt do it and she knows that but she just cant forgive me. she told her parents but i didnt tell them about what she did. i now have 2 choices:
1) I tell her parents about the affair she had last year and ruin her life in that they will stop funding her education and probably disown her and i might too. they said they would if she ever did something of that sort or;
2) I forgive her for not forgiving me and hope and pray that she will forgive me even though i didnt do what i am accused of. what do i do?

i just got a call from a friend and he says that she is raving mad at me because now everyone is telling her that she must leave me. ive tried calling her but she dont answer her fone ive sent e-mail and she wont reply i even foned her dad and asked to speak to her buiut she cut me off. i mean, what more can a brother do to show her i am innocent? the girl i was accused of sleeping with told her it was all lies but she still wont have that. i love this girl with all my life and looing her would ruin all i've become because of her.

now she just called to ask me how im doing. i answered and said, "I'm doin just fine!" and that was all she said then hung up the fone. i guess a brother should just move on or die trying. whats harder to understand is the fact that our families are so close that now there is a serious strain between them and our relationship has affected it. i am really hurt and im even more in love with her. shouold i stay or let her go?

Answer 1

Aww, you sound like a really nice boy, and i am sorry you are in this terrible situation. it seems your girlfriend needs to learn to walk in love because perfect love casts out all fear (that is what the bible says). i also think that because of her own infidelity, she has lost the ability to trust because she keeps thinking your going to do to her what she did to you.. please don't tell her parents because it is not good to re-pay evil with evil. instead tell her if she does not fix up you will have no other option but to end the relationship. Also ask you self why you are with her? are you dating her with the intentions to marry? bless you and can i also add how proud i am of you that you found it in your heart to forgive her but bearing in mind just because you forgive it is no an excuse to stay in a relationship with no trust.

Answer 2

Great Question Mate one million. Billy Slater - Yeah Sure He's A Terrific Player And A Freak In General, But The Power Gets To His Head (World Cup, Hello) And If You Watched Last Year Every Time There Was Biff He Was The First One In The MIddle, Trying To Cop A Shot. two. Paul Gallen - He Is A Workhorse, And A Bloody Great One, But That Time He Tried To Pull A Penalty At Oki Jubilee (2007, Round thirteen I Think) And Got Caught Winking At His Team Mates Was Just Stupid And Idiotic. So I'll Always Hate HIm Soz Lol. three. Steve Turner - He's A Piece Of **** Player. That Rubbish He Pulled With The Gold Coast When He Had Signed Then Decided To Re-Sign With Storm Was Just Dog.

Answer 3

1. What does she have to forgive you about? It sounds like she may actually just be looking for an excuse to dump you.

2. She didn't have an affair as you aren't married.

3. Her parents might be angry at her for a bit but they are going to take her side. She's their daughter. Regarding a child, parents may SAY they will do something, but it doesn't mean they will when confronted with the actuality.
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Oh, for God's sake you are 28 years. I was going to say you are too old for her but your maturity level is right there on the same level. Dude, if she hasn't already matured past you, she's on the way. You are far too needy and clingy for a man. She's obviously the one with the power in the relationship and last year, she realized that.

Answer 4

1)Don't bring up her past to her parents. That would be like a child tattling because they were tattled on (with severe consequences for her).
2) The way she is acting is unacceptable. Either she wants to use this as an excuse to break up, or can't handle the situation with you. She has been told the facts by you and the girl, and still chooses to act this way. This behavior may also be caused by insecurities she has about her affair. All you can do, besides breaking up with her, is give her time to heal. Let the girl have her space, and hope she comes to her senses. Don't apologize though, because you did nothing wrong.

Answer 5

maybe forgive her again, but move on without destroying her in the process. things have a way of coming out anyway. if you really didn't sleep this other girl and she just cant get over it even tough she says she believes you, it may be time to look for someone new. or just take some time for yourself right now...you know a little break.
if you were able to forgive her for a real act of cheating and she cant forgive you of a supposed act of cheating, the relationship isn't strong, at least not all the way around.

Answer 6

Well I'm sorry to say, but to me, your girlfriend looks childish...!
It's not responsible, and I really can't understand it either...
even less as she knows it's all lies ! It doesn't make sense for God's sake !
Dunno what you could do, but I don't think I would tell the parents... if she chose to ruin all of what you got, "fine", it's her responsibility and I'm sure she'll regret it strongly, but still, don't do it too, cause you, you look like a GREAT guy man...! what you've done and being so honest, well, not so many would do it I think... and know what? I think (at least with the behaviour she proves to have now) that she doesn't deserve you in any way !!!
I won't tell you to leave her...
but still, it would perhaps (in the end, cause of course it's not that easy, I know you're suffering a lot...) be the best finally...
well, the decision is yours...
And I'm sure you'll make the right one !

Answer 7

Dramas dramas and more dramas! Pls pardon me if any offence taken but obviously this is not as adult rship coz if it is, parents wldnt get involved and telling this and telling that etc.. oh my gawd! How do you live with all this nonsense???

Seriously, I think you guys shd just get away from each other. Rship shdnt be about unneccessary crap. There are bound to be lotsa tests yes but not some rumour, cheating and telling parents or not! Geez! Seriously you guys just need to date and well you know wisen up in rship aspects. I honestly am not trying to be rude here... I really know what Im talking about.

You might think you cant live without her. We all said that before. But truth is, we got on our two own feet again and eventually meet someone better. World is not merely about one person, in this case her. Life is wonderful and beautiful and so many terrific ppl to meet! Be positive and dont make your world a tiny place.

Answer 8

Do nothing. Sounds like she wants to break up with you. Let her go. If this is meant to be she and you will find a way back together in the future. As of now there is no real trust anyway. You are actually too old for her. Don't tell her parents anything. It is not your place.

Answer 9

Talk it out with her. If you're not guilty then convince her of such. Let her know that you would never sleep with someone 12 years younger than yourself, remind her that you forgave her after she Did slept with someone else, even though it damaged you physically. Hopefully she will see her error and you both can get over this dilema. You may have to wait for her to get over it though, if she doesn't see that she's wrong yet.

But really, why do you want to stay with her if she acts this way? She is way too insecure over your guys' relationship, and appears to be too high-strung and stubborn to see how foolish and hypocritical she is. She cheated on you and you forgave her, yet she is more than willing to blame you for cheating.

Answer 10

Go for number 2 dude, number 1 is like ruining her life, that doesn't involve your relationship with her.....you should forgive her, and do something that might actually make her notice that you honestly didn't do it.......talking about it is the best way......