I've been with my girlfriend for 2 months now and she's amazing. Basically we've talked about moving out together in the future - but we want to save up enough money for a deposit on a house first which will take a while.
Her parents have said I can move in with her to a spare room at their house in the meantime but I'm not so keen on the idea and my girlfriend doesn't understand why. I want to move out with her... but I'm not so sure about with her family... in September 2007!
My Dad is elderly and has problems health wise after a few strokes and heart attacks. My Mum is disabled with an unknown condition and my brother is a slow learner. I know I'll move out eventually but I just feel torn between so many things at the moment and I'm not sure what to do. My girlfriend gets upset that we talk about moving out together but when we have the opportunity I go cold on the moving in with her family' idea. I'm a lil afraid my family will think I'm abandoning them too for her family!
2007-07-09 00:42:12 · 9 answers · asked by Finding_Scotty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Trust your instincts. If you are not comfortable with the idea, trust me, that feeling will be multiplied by 100 once you move in with her. Besides, you have only known her for two months. What if you get on eachothers nerves? What if the house gets a bit crowded? What if there are rules that you are not used to? Just keep savin' up the cash. And there's no reason why you can't visit your famliy, call, email, and write once you move out. It is not an all or nothing situation.
I sympathize with you about your family - my dad is terminally ill with a lung disease and my mom is schizophrenic. Hang in there. Tell your girlriend what you told us. Maybe she is afraid that you do not love her or that the relationship will not last. Have you been over to her house before? If you really want to go through with this try spending a couple nights at her house first and see if it would be a place you would be comfortable staying at. Good luck!
2007-07-09 03:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I know exactly what you mean. Take it from somebody who made this mistake themselves. I love my girlfriend and I moved in with her and her family after only being together for a couple months. Let's just say I would never do that again not even for 50 thousand dollars. It's just, so uncomfortable. Even, if you know the family and like them. It is the most awkward thing you will ever go through. Tell her what I should have told my girlfriend. Say "I'm not comfortable moving in with your family right now. When I move out of my house, I'd like it to be in a place of our own." Plus, tell her that you are needed to help out your family at this time which doesnt mean you love her less. It just means that you're not comfortable with a situation like that (living with her family), you think it'll be worth the wait to move into a place of your own and plus, your family needs you right now.
hope that helps.
2007-07-09 02:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of all the other issues here two months it too short a time to even be thinking about moving in together. You should stay home and continue to see her but you should date at least 6 months before you even talk about living together. It also makes no sense to move in w her family - maybe if you must live together she should move in w your family since it seems you are more needed at home.
2007-07-09 01:38:58 · answer #3 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please wait until you have enough money to move out together on your own , so it may take a while but in the mean time you can build your relationship with your gf and her parents ,let her parents see what a wonderful guy you are from a distance. when you move into your gf's house with her parents it could get ugly , parents always want to protect their little girl , if you two have one little argument , thats it your not good enough for their little girl. take it from me I was in the same situation , my mom still hates him though we have been together for 5 yrs now , I love my husband very much , but I lost my best freind (my mom) . It hurts me alot but they both refuse to apologize and forget
2007-07-09 02:24:19 · answer #4 · answered by renee m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"independence is particularly significant to ME"- seems such as you're being egocentric. family contributors closeness is particularly significant to human beings. how are you able to anticipate to marry her once you cant even deal which incorporate your alterations? Many cultures have infants stay with their mothers and fathers until they get married... and if it truly is the direction your female chum needs.. who're you to rigidity her to proceed to exist her very own? Shes a 24 365 days previous women human beings.. i think of shell be ok as quickly as she finally leaves mommy and daddy. i will understand why it annoys you yet this isnt your place. Bossing your women human beings around isn't a good thank you to start up a means marriage.
2016-10-20 09:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by hardage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving in with family is the biggest relationship killer! It's nice that your GF's parents want to help you out but don't do it and if your GF doesn't understand that you want to live with her on your own then she is not the one for you. It's better if you find this out now.
2007-07-09 02:55:55 · answer #6 · answered by Coop's Wife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really understand your situation and truly sympathize with you, at the same time I agree with your reason not to move with her into her family house. It would really look like you are abandoning your family, but if you move to another place other than her family house then it would not look like that.
Resist the temptation to move into her house and make her see reasons with you, if she is not selfish then she would undestand
2007-07-09 00:52:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are very smart not to want to move in with them stay where you are sounds like your family needs you around. start saving and go from there. 2 months is too soon anyways to move in together
2007-07-12 13:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her when you do move out, it's going to be in a place of yoru own. Her family sounds whacked.
2007-07-09 00:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋