what could you do if you had a paranoid notion that:~ you were being stopped/ prevented from having a life~?

Question

from having a girlfriend, from having sex with who ever i choose to..~ from achieving anything i wanted to with my life~my life was being restricted?

im 30, & a borderline personality disorder sufferer, had it since 15. however since 16 ive had this persistant paranoid idea...ive suffered alot of abuse and victimization in my life, mental & physical.....my psychiatrist said months ago when i asked him about this, said that it was more a distrust of people because of what theyve put you through rather that paranoid dilusion, because i have a good footing in reality, and im open to the fact that this idea that i have might not be true..
however this paranoid idea keeps reccuring from time to time, and i feel im being prevented from doing whatever i want to with my life, like all the things i mentioned at the top of this question..ive missed out on alot in life because of my problems and sadly never accomplished anything, never had a girlfriend or a job, can anyone understand why i

feel im being stopped, prevented, restricted from achieving whatever i want to with my life? because sometimes i do strongly feel im being stopped by someone or certain people from achieving what i want

Answer 1

Well you are aware that it is a problem. You know that nobody cares enough to prevent you from accomplishing things in your life. Most people barely care about themselves, let alone you. Or do you also have delusions that you are better than anybody else, somebody so important that being from other worlds are going to watch over your life and make sure that you never have a thing or relationship? Yeah that sounds ridiculous, because it is. 85% of everything that happens in our lives is controlled by us. We can't help the other 15% but we can influence it greatly with our 85%. That means if you take control of your 85% then you will have 85% success with girls, 85% success with jobs, 85% success with whatever you attempt. Realistically speaking though. You are not going to line up 100 Angelina Jolie's and get 85 of them to go out with you... isn’t going to happen. But you may get 1 or 2 of them if you dress right and say the right things. But if you take 100 woman that are compatible with you with similar interests and in the same social class you will have a chance at at least 85 of them.. You may not like women that are in your class and compatible with you and that is ok, you will have to live with the fact that you are going to have a difficult time connecting with a woman then. But forget about women I was just using them as an example. You need to fix your life so that you are not a basket case before you need to worry about women. Take it one step at a time. Fix your self first. Start with you appearance. Don't slick your hair down or wear a gotee or some other thing that you have always done and looked like. Go to a salon and pick out a stylist that looks like she or he might help you and ask them for help with your appearance. Don't pick somebody that is likely to make you look like some commercial for the modern fashion but somebody that will look at you and find the best look to make you look NORMAL... Then with the new look take some suggestions for clothes that look the best on you, again not some style like the waste of the pants around your thigh but something that looks NORMAL. If you look like some character then you will have to play the part all the time and you will never be YOU. Then after you look NORMAL, and like YOU. Another important thing is to know how you come across to other people. You have to ask some people that will be honest with you and LISTEN to what they say. Let them know that you want to know if you come across as a geek or a weirdo, mean or to nice, whatever, and that you want to know so that you can improve yourself. Don't get upset if they tell you some things that you don't think are true or even close to what you think you are>> You are trying to learn how others see you, not how you really are, you know how you really are and that is rarely how others see you so calm down and learn. Then you need to start working on your job and maybe your education if not totally impossible. Take some community college courses that will advance your career, or start one... Nursing school, electronics, something that is a career and not a job like a store clerk. Then as you advance you will have more opportunities in life, with jobs, with friends, with girlfriends. But don't get is a hurry, it could take several years. You might have to relocate as you progress so that any negative impressions you instilled in people when you thought you were a loser won't influence the way they treat you. The key to all of this is YOU... YOU have to be willing to learn about things outside of your head, you already know that your head doesn't work right so quit listening to it and LEARN what the truth is and use your reasoning to make decisions and not your emotions.. You know that there are no little green men so if you see them you can ignore them, the same with the problem you have with inventing these beings that want you to fail, you know there is nobody out there that gives a s--- if you succeed or fail so just ignore that feeling. Then just be a good person and care about others and the rest will fall in your lap.. Then again how many mirrors have you broken in your life????

Answer 2

Well, I can tell from what you wrote that you should consider going to a different psychiatrist. Trust needs to be earned, not given freely. What's important, though, is that you do not price your trust too high.

There are many causes for why you feel that people make it difficult for you to succeed in life. Two extremes are that you're either imagining it, or they in fact really do. However, the truth is probably somewhere in between - sometimes you only think people distract you, and sometimes they really do.

To get out of the situation, you need to obtain certain objectivity about it. You need to learn to discer from two types of situations - one in which people really do distract you regardless of your reaction, and the other in which they wouldn't be able to distract you if you hadn't let them. An example of the former may be when a person keeps punching you in the shoulder to get your attention, while an example of the latter would be if they asked you out and you agreed even though you had more important or urgent things to do.

When you're able to make that distinction, your next step is to actually tell those who distract you to either stop, or you'll have to end your friendship with them. Ending a friendship is a difficult thing to do, but if it is damaging and there's no hope of quick recovery, then it must be done. Steve Pavlina has something to say on this (look for the link to his site in the sources list I provided, particularly his article called "The Courage to Live Consciously").

After this, it is time to make new friends. Find people with common interests; people who can help you in what you are trying to achieve. Don't be gullible, though, and make sure that you can offer some value in return (not material values, but rather personal ones). In simple terms, make sure that people you like like you as well.

Answer 3

It appears like you could have lack of confidence and anxiousness approximately your boyfriend, and now worry on best of that. It is a well signal that you simply observe you're having problem coping, that you've a trouble. You can difference it. Do a little bit soul looking and take a look at to get to the basis rationale. Do you could have abandonment problems or different abuse problems from adolescence? Have you misplaced most important loved ones or peers or a bf ago in which you not ever bought to mention good-bye? Did you ever cheat on anybody and now you think that your boyfriend will? There are many causes that result in this and you're the one one who is aware of for definite what the trouble is. I suspect that you simply could do that with any man, now not simply this designated man. So, if not anything else, you'll train on him so you can have it proper one day. When you think like interrogating your bf, chunk your tongue, while you omit, say sorry instantly. If you begin to impeach him, reduce your self off - say anything optimistic as a substitute like, "I like your hair at present," or "You appear pleasant," or, "Hope you are having a hello." Make the terrible assertion right into a optimistic and hopeful one. It takes a ton of train, but it surely sounds such as you higher get with it! Practice, train.

Answer 4

In some ways, you are no different than the rest of us, how we think of ourselves when times are tough. We feel it's us against a world that has no pre-formed place for us to fit-in, no empty seat waiting to be filled.

These are words and thoughts of fear and rejection and apprehension.

People who are in abusive relationships often feel the way you do. They feel as if their life is defined and controlled by another person, having no say for themself. The abuser wants us to simply accept that attitude as fact. The abused
feels an internal desire to be and act independently. And there-in lies the conflict, and sometimes also the spark of life within holding onto a gleam of hope. Hope that there is more to life available to those who embrace life. Hope to love and to be loved and known. Hope to make a "name" for oneself.
I do not believe every person out there with such thoughts or desires is necessarily from an abusive relationship / background. I do believe that those who have been confined in abusive control may feel the disappointment and desire somewhat more keenly.

Is this truly a paranoid pattern of thought? Who am I to judge. I've been there myself, that I know.

How to find a way to step-out from behind this frame of thought, this belief? Working with a mental health therapist, or working with a counselor with a Christian perspective can open your eyes to new possibilities, new thought patterns, and to hope for a future full of life.

Now, I do hope you have the willingness to dream, to plan, and to try.

Answer 5

Just do it. Start from small things and build up your confidence. Now that you're aware of the problem, it's half solved!

Answer 6

You need to remove anyone in your life that's keeping you down. Real friends will try to lift you up.

Answer 7

it's your life! do what you want & block everything else out
. . . just don't blame others for your current life because it is YOUR life & you make it what you want it to be, best of wishes!

Answer 8

I feel sorry for you seems to me that you are doing what you are choosing to do right here and right now, seems like a bunch of you including me are so if it is your choice maybe you need to make a different choice?

Answer 9

recognie it as paranoia rather than reality and move on

Answer 10

you could go to a psychologist