I married young, 16 to be exact. We had a little girl. Who is now 14 years old. My husband & I had alot of childish problems. We used to fight about everything. Yelling, Physically, emotionally. All infront of the child. Wel l we divorced after 10 years. I still loved him when he left, but It was for the best. We have been apart for 5 years now. We have both grown up alot since then. I did marry another almost 3 years ago. Well I'm divorced from him because he didn't work for the 3 years we were married. So I moved on. I have always had feelings for my first husband. He spends the night at my apartment, takes me and my daughter out. But the only problem we have is my daughter does not want us back together. I know it's not her decision but,her feelings are very much respected. Can anybody help me find a solution to my forbidden love? How can I find a way to be happy and keep my daughter happy? HELP
2007-07-08 19:00:58 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
maybe your daughter just remebers how much you guys used to fight.. try slowly moving forwatd, keeping in mind that she's already been through alot. if you guys are getting alone better, maybe she just needs to see that for a longer period of time. whatever you decide, make sure to include your daughter in the decision. after all, she will always be your daughter.... good luck
2007-07-08 19:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by coby r 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, maybe your second relationship didn't work because you "always had feelings" for your ex.
This poor girl has seen you fight all the way through your first marriage - yelling, fighting both physically and emotionally - that IS what you said. Then the failure of your second as well.
If you want her to agree to your re-relationship with your first, you had both better be prepared to PROVE to her that neither of you is going to subject HER to that sort of thing again.
Take it slowly. Let her get to know her father again, to see how he has changed, matured. Go for family outings, let her see what its like. Perhaps in time she will come around. But don't sneak around behind her back - that will not engender trust. Show her that it can and will be better, this time around.
But you can't blame her for being reticent, she has seen a lot in her short life.
2007-07-09 02:14:33 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First..is it what you and your ex husband want? to be together? is it mutual? if not then..theres nothing you can do
if it is mutual. you should sit down with your daughter..maybe even with your ex husband..and talk to her about the relationship. listen to her reasons of why she doesnt think you two should be together. Is it because she thinks you two will start fighting..and she just doesnt want to see that again..and see you two split again? Understand where she is coming from and ensure her that it will not happen (that is if you and your exhusband will indeed be together harmoniously)...besides...soon your daughter will go to college and move away and will not even be there except for holidays..right? good luck! make the best decision for everyone!
2007-07-09 02:37:59 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is really WHY doesnt your daughter want you to get back with her father, and only she can answer that. If you have open and clear communication and all 3 of you discuss her fears, then maybe you can work it out.
2007-07-09 02:06:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
truly it is her problem not yours --- he is her father after all --- and in a few years time she will be leaving home --- i think sit her down and find out what her problem is and try to work around it -- if you cant then you have to consider your happiness now and in the future ---- best wishes
2007-07-09 02:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by trader1867 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋