Why do all military guys treat their women so poorly?

Question

I've known in my entire life one decent military guy, my father-in-law. Other than that...my wife's ex-husband, countless friend's husbands/boyfriends, coworkers experiences...I have seen nothing but poor treatment. Cheating, abuse, financial irresponsibility, lying, hidden homosexuality, etc. The list goes on and on.

Why?

There's a certain rage in your answers that explains a lot.

Plus, to the person who was offended by the inclusion of homosexuality...read it again, in context. I said that it was hidden homosexuality, as in, hidden from his wife/girlfriend. Yeah, there's something wrong with that.

To those of you that are being mature and honest, thank you very much. And I apologize for the assumption that all guys are bad...I certainly didn't mean it that way...I was just curious as to why it seems to be so common.

Answer 1

Although your personal experience isn't representitive of the entire military, there is some merit to your question. A few possible explanations:

First, combat stress can produce severe mental problems, which is only natural. Most soldiers with mental health issues go untreated due to stigma against mental illness being especially strong in the military. Mental issues can cause problems in every area of life, including abuse, financial irresponibility, etc...

Second, the type people who join the military may have a predilection for the kind of behaviour you talk about. I don't know of any research to that effect, but it seems possible, especially in regards to financial trouble. Many people join the military to escape financial problems. It's predictable that those problems disappear.

Finally, I think it's really offensive that you would include homosexuality in a list of "problems."

Answer 2

Although there are definitely some military guys that treat their women poorly, there are many others who treat them wonderfully. The few bad apples out there could be acting up due to the extreme pressures of their job, or they may have control issues, which may or may not stem from their need to exert power and dominance in their military roles. For these reasons, I can see how you may have arrived at your conclusion.

However, there are also several good military guys. They've learned respect, honor and loyalty from being in the military and they've translated it into their own lives by treating their women with the utmost respect.

On the flip side, in the few years I've spent as a military girlfriend, I've seen many of the females do the misbehaving and blame it on their men always being gone. Hence the reason why it takes a very understanding and strong person to be a military spouse.

Answer 3

I think it would be a disgrace to say that ALL military guys treat women poorly, as I am sure that there are caring husbands in the armed services out there..

Maybe just the ones you've met have been abusive..

To answer the question, maybe its because of the discipline and fraternity BS that goes along with being in a hierarchial type environment like that

Answer 4

You are admittedly basing your assumption on a rather small sample, the people you know. In addition, the faults you mention might also be subjective or untrue. How do you know, for instance, that these people cheated, were financially irresponsible, were hidden homosexuals, etc.? Did someone tell you this? Did you see them do it?

I'm not saying your idea is untrue, but I think you should have more information before making such a broad accusation of "military guys."

Answer 5

Why would homosexuality come into play here? Seems to me there is some sort of envy or gay thing happening in this question. Or did some guy move in on the girl you imagined you would be with? **** one off and you will be OK.

I grew up as a military brat and have been in the military all of my life after. What you say is actually quite the opposite..... and thank those who have done and do the job when you go to sleep tonight.

Answer 6

I think you are just messed up with the wrong people and guys who have no morals. My husband is in the Army and could not treat me better! He treats me like a queen. I know more Soldiers that treat there wives with respect and love then those who don't. You are making a judgment based on a small amount of people.

Answer 7

Not all are bad. But it has to do with (if they have been deployed) PTSD-post tramatic stress disorder. There is research out there, I don't remeber where but upon poling the US Military, those who have been deployed and have PTSD; either one- abuse their spouse or two-want to commit suicide. Its just a sad fact.
And then there are the ones who have not been deployed...these are just the all around bad kids all the way through life and think that joining up with the military will make them the perfect man... its not going to happen unless they choose it.

Answer 8

Oh thats bull!!! My husband is in the military and he's treated me better than anyone ever has. Don't judge them all based on just a few.

Answer 9

In my life I've met very few people (men and women, civilian and military) who are not subject to some sort of cheating, abuse, financial irresponsibility, lying, hidden homosexuality... etc. The list goes on and on.

Why?

I suggest you think before labeling people and jumping to conclusions. It's rather immature and hurtful.

Answer 10

I agree with what someone already said, you're hanging with the wrong kind of people.
Maybe you should ask yourself why you contine to surround yourself with this crowd.

My husband treats me like a queen. He constantly tells me he appreciates me and is proud of me for the job I'm doing while he is deployed. He sends me flowers for no reason, while in a combat zone.

It doesn't take much to call someone out over the internet. Have you ever asked these men this question to their face? I doubt it.

Hasty generalizations reveal ignorance.