Anger outbursts, am I over reacting?

Question

My guy has outbursts of anger & yelling. He has very little patience,if things aren't happening when he thinks they should he gets frustrated & loses it Right now he's under a lot of stress (single parent, lost his job) & it's gotten worse.He's not yelling at me,I just have to hear it.He's never hurt me physically, when he starts the yelling I just want to cover my ears & curl up in the fetal position.When I was married, my husband was physically,mentally & emotionally abusive to me.What always preceeded the physical abuse was the yelling.I think that my brain is going into auto-pilot & I shut down.I don't have control over it & he can't understand my reactions,he says he's not my ex & would never hurt me.Am I over reacting? I know he needs to learn how to control his anger or at the very least get his yelling out of his system when I'm not around.Is there anyway that I can change the way I react to the yelling? When anyone starts yelling around me in anger, I have the same reaction.

Answer 1

If he cannot understand and calm his temper you need to RUN away from this relationship. Remember when you are dating he is on his best behavior. JMO

Answer 2

Well, the short answer to your question is "no:you are not overreacting. There are many men who do not lose their temper, and are not quick to anger.

Maybe the question should be "Why are you drawn somehow to the guys who do?"

Ask yourself is you are testing your endurance or simply choosing your own poison.

Ask yourself if you honestly find such a man attractive ( it might be hormonal-me-Jane-me-like-Tarzan) or perhaps you have some unresolved childhood issues.

Develop your own self worth by taking assertiveness classes because you will learn how to not get into the frustration stage by managing the little steps that lead to it. Once you know your bounderies, you will know exactly when to say "Thats it, I am out of here" When the relationship is out of hand with violence, get out as soon as you can.

Help your man as best as you can because you might very well be also the biggest source of his frustration.

If this is hard to do, ask your priest, pastor, doctor or friend.

Answer 3

That was a fantastic question my friend. Religion has been a part of mankind since ancient. Religion teaches us the way of life, and the values and Morales to be followed in society. So religion has become very close to us because the history of the religion speaks so. Everybody is proud to be a Hindu, or a Muslim, or a christian and so on. When sensible and sensitive questions are asked people fail to understand that it is the duty of every person to explain and clear the question for the asker who is not trying not to offend the religion but to make sure that his doubts get cleared. So a true follower should not burst out but try to solve the question and make himself look above others.

Answer 4

I believe you need to get out now!
Fetal positions are not normal. Not now, not never.
He might be under a lot of stress but if you allow this at this time, you are just giving him a license for more abuse later.
Once you and him are entrenched in a relationship his outbursts will be more volatile and you will be his punching bag.
Have you not had enough stress and fear in your life?
Help him get the medical attention he needs but have enough strength to walk away before something really traumatic happens.
I wish you well.

Answer 5

U need to seek help. your boyriend has serious Issues, but who cares. Your the one that needs help. your Codependant, and thats not a good thing. If you need us to tell you to leave the idiot. then your not too bright as well as codependant. you should try being single until you no longer feel like you have to be with someone. When your content with being single thats when you will find someone who will be right for you. Because you will no longer be getting into relationships just to be in a relationship. Codependant relationships NEVER work, and your will not be the first. You are wasting your time and will not behappy while you waste your time.

Answer 6

You may just be traumatized from your ex. But he should understand the abusive relationship you were in and he should steer clear of yelling anywhere near you. I would ask him to stop and if he can't I would let him go. He should stop being such a selfish bastard and think about you. Remember to think about yourself first, forget his problems. Worry about your health.

Answer 7

you and him should probably be in councelling. both together and separate. you also need to make sure that he knows that it is never okay for him to take out his problems on you, even if he's not physically abusive, emotional abuse leaves just as big of scars. (you probably already know that already.) i hope everything goes well. xoxox