I have 2 best friends , 1 I knew for 20yrs and the other for 13yrs , I chose my friend of 20yrs to be Maid of Honor. How do I tell my other friend she's not MOH w/o hurting her feelings ? She already gets jealous that my other friend is in the wedding and is helping me out or giving me ideas . I don't want to hurt her feelings but she is really getting to me.
2007-07-08 18:22:25 · 18 answers · asked by ♥ Army Wife ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She is godmother of my daughter and my other BFF is not . I made her a bridesmaid along w/ my sister in law but she is still acting crazy . Should I make my sis in law MOH , that way no one feels bad ? My bff that I made MOH has no problem stepping down and being a bridesmaid , she's not that petty at all , but I dont want to have to make her step down because my other friend wants to be childish.
2007-07-08 18:32:19 · update #1
They are both 27
2007-07-08 18:33:57 · update #2
I know ppl have 2 moh's but I am trying to do it the right way where there is only 1 MOH . I have been listening to everyone's ideas including hers but for some reason she is very jealous of my other friend , but I've known the other one since I was 5 , we're like sisters and thats why I chose her. Thanks all for your input.
2007-07-08 18:41:56 · update #3
People worry too much about titles, call them all bridesmaid and have done with it, what does it matter if she is called matron of honour or bridesmaid, really people have too much time on their hands to think about stupid things like that, I can't believe she is acting up over that, how can she call herself your friend if she is not even supportive enough of you to accept that she is still in the bridal party, and still a big part of your day. It's almost like the her ego has taken over the whole day.
2007-07-08 21:08:23 · answer #1 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you let her help out or even just do something in the wedding like be a bridesmaid or something else like that maybe then she won't get to you as bad and maybe not be so jealous either! If this doesn't work just let her know that she is still your friend but this other person has been there longer and it just feels! You know you could have 2 MOH's have one stand next to you traditionally and the other next to her at least she would still be up there! Or even just let her sit next to you during the wedding party! even though you want the friend of 20 yrs that doesn't mean you like the other person any less just let you know that! maybe then she'll understand!
2007-07-08 18:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt though. if that is the way you wanted it & your happy that way then nothing is better then the truth to that girl. its not like when you tell her you have to be like i knew this girl for 20 years and you only 13 so im obviously going to pick this girl because she is closer and has known me more. just tell her you would love to have both of them and its not that you like the other women better and give her your reasons why. i understand jealousy but if a friend cannot put being the MOH aside and think about how happy you are and what a great day that will be for you then i would question the friendship...
2007-07-08 18:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by anwsersmuch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to weddings, it always brings out the worst in them! I know! Because it happened to me!
I suggest you sit down with your friend and explain the situation to her, if she gets upset, then she truly isn't your friend (sorry!) but she has to realise that it's your wedding day and you are doing things your way.
May you could ask her to be bridesmaid and also get her to give a speech or do a reading at the wedding, this might make her feel better, you might even get her to contribute something in particular to your wedding day.
I wish you all the luck in the world with this as I know how hard it can be.
2007-07-08 19:22:24 · answer #4 · answered by princess_bride72 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if you have known them for that long, this person must be at least 20 right? older probably, but we will go with 20. she should be mature and old enough to handle it. she can still help out as much as she wants with the wedding and give great ideas. i would tell her as soon as possible to get it over with.
the wedding is suppose to be about you, not her. she needs to focus on making your day great, not a title. you sound like a very nice friend to even be thinking this. so tell her and let her have her day o pity. then back on track to wedding planning.
i think it is odd she is jealous of your other friend. :( she needs to be mature and get along with people for the sake of your special day.
2007-07-08 18:28:32 · answer #5 · answered by Christina V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just listen to some of her ideas and tell her that u already have a MOH. but u dont want to hurt he feelings but ud still love to hear her ideas about the wedding! just let her know that she still has a part in the wedding! and if she ask what tell her u can help me put everything togther! just explain it to he as easyly as you can!
Just a few ideas hope some of this will help ya!
God bless!!
2007-07-08 18:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by angelbrat18_1989_2009 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have them both as MOH, or since she's acting like a petty child, tell her to grow up, that you care about them both and want them both involved but you've known the other friend longer. If she's truly a best friend, she won't make this about her but want to share your big day however you ask her to.
2007-07-08 18:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You simply tell her you could not decide so you let the number of years you've been friends be the deciding factor. There was no other way to choose. You could also have two MOH's and offend no one.
2007-07-08 18:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought it out throughly? Would your friend of 20 years be understanding enough to know that your friend of 13 years would be hurt badly if she didn't get to be MOH, Then again if their both your best friends they should both be understanding enough to know that it's just good enough to be in the wedding!
2007-07-08 18:26:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was a bridesmaid once, and the bride just decided the eldest of us two would be MOH. Simple, no catty ness.
2007-07-08 20:37:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋