I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. We have an amazing relationship and I couldn't ask for a better man. My delema is that I have recently had between 10-15 friends get engaged or married. Several of them have been dating much less time than my boyfriend and I have. For some reason this is very hard for me. When I go to a wedding, view their wedding photos, or give advice on planning I can't help but think it's not fair that these girls are getting married while they've been with another guy in the amount of time I've been dating my boyfriend.
We've disscussed marriage and I know that some day we're going to get engaged, but how do I keep my mind off of it in the mean time when it's all around?
2007-07-08 18:15:22 · 11 answers · asked by prschltchr_2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's tough - I know that feeling but you can't let your feelings turn into obsession. It's only natural for you to feel a little jealous over your friends getting married. But try to just be happy for them. You have every reason in the world to be happy for yourself. Just look at how many people on here ask questions like "how can I find the one?" I mean, you've found him!! That's an incredible thing so take a minute to be happy about that alone!!! Some people go their whole life never having what you have found in this amazing man. You will be soooo much happier letting things happen naturally, believe me. If you try to pressure him or give off hints, you'll always wonder if he proposed to you out of obligation or because he truly wanted to. Don't do that to yourself. Be grateful for what you have TODAY.
2007-07-08 18:22:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please dont make the mistake of wanting this, it will happen when the time is right, and then again, it may never happen, because it is not right. Be happy for your friends and continue with helping with the arrangements. Your turn will come. Maybe he is thinking of trying to get more behind you, (assets) before taking the plunge, and good on him for that, because once you do take the plunge, its family, home, bills etc etc, not much time for anything else, and some people I know now wished they had waited until they were more secure and financial. Then there are the types that are quite happy to stay with the relationship as it is, especially if the living arrangement is together, why get married, when they have everything they want now... You might have to give him a 'nudge' but if he doesnt want to get married nothing you can do will make him do it, so for the time being, be happy for your friends, but also make up your own mind as to when the time is right for you to be married and then let him know, or look elsewhere. Good Luck
2007-07-08 18:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend is a few years older then me, and now that I'm out of school i keep waiting for it to happen. We have talked about staying together before an we love each other.
I am at the age too where tons of my friends are getting engaged/married. His parents got married after knowing each other for only 3 months and keep asking him if he thinks i am the one.
The only thing i can really say is grin an bear it, you don' want to force your BF into asking you to marry him. An i know its hard because the longer he waits the less confidence you have in the relationship. sometimes i worry he doesn't like me as much as i like him, but i know that's foolish.
I also know that by waiting, we will know each other better and not rush into anything.
And no matter what, when it happens it will be special to us.
2007-07-08 18:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by FireKittenofdoom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As fast as ppl can get married and engaged is as fast as you'll be in the divorce line. Instead of being a jealous friend be happy for your friends who are engaged or married , SIMPLE!! and if you can't deal with it either leave your boyfriend and find someone who will marry you after 3 mths of dating or STOP going to weddings and you won't have a problem .. The best thing to do is wait , get to know your man , love your man , your day will come. Remember ppl can be married for 20yrs and not know their spouses fully . Stop rushing and take your time.
2007-07-08 18:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Army Wife ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i want to get married tooo! i know how you feel. one of my good friends got married recently too and now i can't stop thinking about it. the best advice i can give you (which i should probably follow as well), is to not bug your boyfriend about it too much or he will think you just want to get engaged because everyone else is engaged. take your time and move on to the next big step when you are both emotionally (and financially) ready. in the mean time, use all your friends weddings to get ideas about yours! you will have so much experience with photographers, flowers, showers, and reception halls, that it will make it less stressful on you when its your time. my advice to you is save up your money tooo! with 10-15 friends getting married all around the same time, you will have many many shower and wedding gifts to buy. good luck with everything!! =]
2007-07-08 18:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by answergrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By focusing on why you two are waiting. My bf and I have been dating 4.5 yrs. People we graduated from High School with are starting to get engaged/married like crazy. We're in love and have even set up a hesitant time table for moving forward with our lives together, but right now is not the right time for us to get married. Now is not the right time for us- we need to get out of college first.
2007-07-08 18:23:20 · answer #6 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the time comes, you and your bf will be better prepared for the expenses and responsibility that comes along with a marriage commitment. Just tell your friends that you and your bf have decided to wait until you have the financial capability of buying a home.
2007-07-08 18:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First stop comparing the lenghth of your relationship with your friends, it has nothing to do with it. Second, how do you know your friends marriages will work out? Take your time, believe me; marriage is for life, dont find out 5 years into it that you cant stand eachother
2007-07-08 18:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, don't hate!!! When the time is right you will have a great engagement and marriage. In the interim be happy for your friends and try to make their engagement special. They will return the favor one day.
2007-07-08 18:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by amoroushotmama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had a cool job... where you got a lot of self satisfaction, you wouldn't care whether all your friends are getting married or not... they will all be divorced within ten years and you won't. because you got to know your man better.
2007-07-08 18:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by Rockstar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋