I know that some men/women cheat when they are deployed. I am just curious how much of it really goes on. I want honest answers from people who have been deployed before. I know that some people do not need to read the answers, so I would appreciate it if you have an answer that would upset a spouse back home, please email me instead of posting it. What is it really like for our deployed people? Even though they may cheat, does it really mean that there is something wrong with their relationship back home or is it just to pass the time and fill the loneliness?? Let me just add that I think that the spouses at home that cheat, are about as low as you can get. I can understand how it can happen overseas, but the people at home should be ashamed of themselves. These men/women need all the support they can get. God Bless Them.
2007-07-08 17:47:04 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
No I am absolutely not saying that cheating is ok under any circumstances, but I can understand how it happens when deployed, I am back home and would not cheat. I'm just trying to be realistic, not ignorant about what really goes on. And Yes I know that there alot of women over there too. I didn't mean to make people mad, I'm just looking for some answers.
2007-07-08 18:39:58 · update #1
During deployments men and women of a unit become extremely close to each other. They are, for the most part, together almost 24/7. This closeness can lead to relationships that cross the line. Most don't set out to cheat - it just happens! It doesn't mean that you don't love your partner at home or that you have problems in your relationship. No rate or percentage of cheaters can be determined because different people react differently in certain circumstances. Not everyone does it and most remain faithful to their partner at home. Usually unit members in relationships will start to withdraw from each other a few days before deployment ends. Its just their way of saying they were wrong and it can't continue when they get home. In the military we have a saying "What happens on deployment - stays on deployment." What that means is that when we get home we don't talk about the less than perfect behavior of other unit members. The ones at home who cheat are the lowest of the low. I've seen a lot of people who were complete straight arrows during deployment and passed up every opportunity to cheat be completely devastated when they find out their spouse at home has been unfaithful. Its really hard on them trying to understand the "why" of someone they have trusted hurting them so deeply.
2007-07-08 18:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by cwomo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it does occur but it is NOT common. Frankly, there just aren't that many women available, so even if the soldier wanted to get one on just before his next combat mission, there really isn't much opportunity.
And you are right, the spouses back home have much more opportunity and take it more often.
Usually it's a question of whether or not there is fidelity in the marriage and if there is, it's unlikely the soldier will cheat. The ones that do, believe their spouses are already.
NO, there are NOT a LOT of women over there. That's a very important point in the entire conversation.
2007-07-09 00:50:55 · answer #2 · answered by John T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I read your question I was thinking how people in the military are in a high stress situation and naturally would turn to others to help them through - and then I go to the part where you think the spouse at home (you know, the one doing the work of 2 people 24/7 on top of being crazy worried that their spouse will return in one piece) who cheat are scum.
I have to say that stinks. If it's ok for the deployed spouse to receive comfort, same goes for the one staying at home. In this world it's most important to treat others as you would want to be treated.
Peace!
2007-07-09 00:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by carole 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure it happens - but not 50% and 80% as the above poster believes.
They face UCMJ charges if they are caught...but most times the wife won't find out unless he brings something home that wasn't on the packing list.
The spouses at home who cheat? Trash plain and simple. I neither associate with them - other than a 'hi' if we pass each other.
Something to remember - the military member doesn't have to be deployed for cheating to be going on....
People who aren't fully committed to their spouses act amorally at times.
2007-07-09 00:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're giving a double standard to both sides.
You're saying that spouses are scum if they cheat while their spouse is gone.
You're also saying that it's okay or understandable if a soldier cheats while away.--why would a soldier get a 'free pass to cheat' while away from home. Yeah, they got needs, but those needs are put on hold for the woman or man they committed to back at home.
Cheating is cheating----there are NO excuses for that on either side of the globe! Both parties are at fault, both are guilty, both are scum.
2007-07-09 01:18:39 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't understand how it would happen in either way, overseas or at home. Being overseas they should think that everyday is one step closer to being with the one's that they love and having an affair is just untolerable! For the ones that are home it is the same they do have people for support around them and should be more comfortable, but it is my feelings that it is cheating no matter where you are is unforgivable. On your wedding day "you" (meaning no one inparticular) took vows and if you weren't able to keep them then marriage should have never happened!
2007-07-12 09:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by chef m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was on a deployment and a alot of married men. Just want to love someone. It's groundhog's day on the ship. They mostly are bored or just feeling something else but sad from being away from and some think out of sight out of mind. Mostly it's becuase you hear about the bad ones not the good people who are faithful.
2007-07-14 01:28:06 · answer #7 · answered by Bobbi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the cheating done during deployments, is done by the spouse back in the states.
Just who are you gonna cheat with while being deployed ?
I don't think most of the people being deployed are gay.
So that doesn't leave many people to cheat with.
2007-07-09 01:26:09 · answer #8 · answered by jeeper_peeper321 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Understand that people in most military points get extremely lonely after being away from home for any longer then a month. An easy understanding of this is the movie Jarhead, and how political conflict can lead to our soldiers sent to a country for something they don't believe in, or reasons unknown to them. Obviously, I've never been in the service but I understand how this goes. It is human nature to want to mate. Being sexual deprived especially in extreme situations doesn't help, and many people need a way to relieve it. I think that many men and women that cheat deep down know it's morally wrong, but won't do anything to stop it.
The easiest answer is the movie Jarhead, watch it and you might get a better understanding of what I mean.
2007-07-09 01:08:07 · answer #9 · answered by Mac 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
a person who cheats is going to do so regardless of their location, job and circumstances. so yes, in my view absolutely it is entirely because something was missing form the marriage in the first place. doesn't matter if they are the one left behind, or the one in harm's way.
because for every one person that cheats while on deployment, you have ten who do NOT. for every spouse that strays, there are ten who are faithful. the military and deployments have NOTHING to do with it whatsoever.
2007-07-09 08:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋