My fiance is considering the navy and I’m not sure if we should get married before basic. We have children and have heard it would be better before because of paperwork and benifits; however I am in college and would be staying here until I graduate which could be a year or so. If we were married and I choose to stay here would we still get benefits or would I have to be with him where he was stationed. Any advice would be appreciated.
2007-07-08 17:13:33 · 23 answers · asked by Dreamcatcher 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
So we would get the housing allowance even if I am in another location then he is stationed at? I may have misunderstood this. Also do they all go to an A school right after basic training?
2007-07-08 17:36:17 · update #1
okay first off, how old are you? how many children do you have? are the kids his? because if he is considered a single parent he CANNOT enlist. if the kids are his, he is a single parent in the eyes of the Navy.
If you have more than 2, then if you get married the will have too many dependents and be ineligible to enlist without a waiver, which may or may not be granted.. If they are not his kids, then wait until after Boot camp and A school to get married to avoid all the complications. Yes, it will make it harder for him to get accompanied PCS orders but it is the easiest way to get in without issue.
now, for the practical matters: getting married and then voluntarily staying apart for a year or more is NO way to begin a marriage, even for such an important reason such as college.. and ABSOLUTELY finish college, that is vitally important.
consider this, too: during Boot camp and A school, you would not be allowed to join him anyway, so it could be a wash as far as being apart. BAH would be based on your location while he is in Boot and A school. BUT as soon as he got to his permanent duty station.. BAH changes to HIS location and you would lose Family Separation Allowance because the Navy expects you to join him there(unless they send him to GITMO or Bahrain, in which case you can't and the rules change).
2007-07-09 02:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would still get BAH (basic allowance for housing) if you lived somewhere else. Matter of fact, he could have it sent directly to you in an allotment.
Don't be in a rush to marry - if you have children together - then it's not a rush...if they aren't his - he would need custody papers showing that you have custody before they would get benefits. Also they will need a certified marriage license for him to add you as a dependent. If they are his children - you will need certified copies of birth certificates and social security numbers.
If they aren't his kids (just fyi in case) then you'd have to notify the dad - and he can force you to either stay there permanently - or move without the kids if he takes you to court.
Tricare is really good insurance - you'll have to be enrolled in your area....there are different regions.
Good luck hon...
PS - please remember there is NO extra pay for being married or having children - except housing allowence. And that you lose if you live on post.
Go ahead and check cause I believe there are extra grants, etc for military families for college. You don't have to stop going even if you moved after he got stationed...but if by then it's only a few months - then it might be better to wait. Check the aid you're getting to see what happens if you marry....
2007-07-08 17:46:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can stand the thought of not being married to him, you shouldn't get married. If you're sure that you want to marry him, there is absolutely no reason to wait until after Basic, what do you think will change? You do not have to live in the same town to receive most of the benefits the military offers. It will just require you to do all of the leg work without him. Honestly, the biggest benefit will be medical coverage. You should ask TriCare how that works, look them up online. Also, his Navy recruiter should be doing this research for you, ask them.
2007-07-08 17:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by smartr-n-u 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of these other answers are pretty good, as far as benefits go it may be a good idea to go ahead and get married before he leaves, then that stuff can go ahead and be set up but at the same time the military does not pay for a spouses schooling so you have to take that into consideration. If I were you I might consider it, since you do have children. That insurance could help with your peace of mind.
2007-07-08 17:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by mrhardman04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't you get married before basic? With the way the U.S. is handling this war, don't you want a security blanket if your man is shipped off to war right away? For the security of the family, get married first. Yes, it would definitely make things go smoother for you both if you all are considered a family through marriage as opposed to just dependents. Find out through your local recruiter how his benefits would be affected if you two live at different residences. I'm not sure about that one.
2007-07-08 17:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by 2Blesd2BStresd 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're ready to commit to him and he likewise, sure go for it.
If there are doubts, wait.
How do the finances work out? Probably better if you marry earlier, unless of course you divorce. There are definitely financial and other benefits to marrying earlier but it's really more about whether you two are ready because those short term benefits will be cancelled out with a divorce, and fast.
Yes and yes to your 2nd set of questions. You'd get BAH and he'd go to A school directly after Basic.
2007-07-08 17:21:12 · answer #6 · answered by John T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was engaged to a guy who went into the Marines. We almost got married before he went to Basic, but we waited. Eventually he went to Iraq and we still weren't married. Honestly, this is more of a personal decision and it depends on what the both of you want to do. If you two are ready for a commitment, do it. It's okay to want to stay where you're at until you finish school. That was my concern too only I wasn't ready to get married! But if you only want to get married for benefits for the kids, don't do it. You might end up regretting it.
2007-07-08 17:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by blacksails86 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Married servicemen have extra benefits. But then again, I'd personally wait. Getting married afterwards would be a good incentive to get through to the end of basic training.
2007-07-08 17:26:30 · answer #8 · answered by Gotta have more explosions! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't answer some of this but I can answer this; After boot camp he will be given an opportunity to go on leave before A school. If he takes then he will have used up his leave for the year but that doesn' t mean he can't get more but it will be more difficult. Boot camp last 8 weeks and he will not be allowed off the base during that time. Depending on his rating choice (if he is allowed one) then he may or may not have an opportunity for leave. A school can last for 8 weeks or 8 months. He will be allowed to leave the base if you live nearby, take off for the weekend (but heaven help him if he fails to show up on Monday morning) if you live further away, and he can take leave after boot and A school if he waits until then.
2007-07-08 18:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have kids, yes I would get married before. Yes you will still get your benefits even if you stay where you are. I knew quit a few guys at my 1st duty station who's wives did this (they were in school or working on their careers as well.) It worked out for all of them, all the wives came for a couple of visits and the time apart sucked for them, but in the end it was worth it 'cause they had their degrees done with by the time they lived together.
2007-07-08 17:38:00 · answer #10 · answered by Just me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋