My mom is getting remarried. To an asshole. Who has made me and my sister's lives miserable.
2007-07-08 16:51:01 · 30 answers · asked by biteme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i would talk to her before the wedding and tell her your concerns. it is best to do this is a private manner and be calm about it, bring up facts. listen to her when she answers you. if she does not listen to you or you do not like how the conversation goes, i suggest not going to the wedding. you objecting will just make you look like the bad guy.
2007-07-08 16:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 11⤊ 1⤋
I think the wedding day is the wrong time! I am a wedding photographer and I must tell you... this will disrupt the entire ceremony, it may cause immeasurable distance in your relationship with your mom and other family members, and it's just the wrong place and time. You should definitely bring up your concerns BEFORE the wedding, even if you have to do something drastic to make her see the light. Dig up some dirt on the guy! Make her re-consider. She may be brainwashed by this guy, and explain to her that you love her and just have her happiness in mind. Try to intervene before the actual ceremony, NOT on that day. Plus, a lot of times the minister doesn't say the "object" part of the speech anymore, that is an old-fashioned tradition.
2007-07-09 00:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by Awesome Writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Technically objections are for situations of polygamy and incest, not assholeness. But it would sure get things off on the wrong foot, which presumably you want to do. Are you and your sis young enough that you still live at home? Talk to her then, knowing she won't have the support of either of you and that you are adamant about not enabling everyone to become a family may force her to reconsider the marriage. If you are many years away from 18 she should account for your feelings as family members as well as her own. By asshole, incidentally, do you mean abusive? If so get the police and other family members involved; do not let that marriage happen. If by asshole you mean he tells you to be home by midnight and you resent it, get over it. Your Mom has a right to live her life. Same goes for if you're 18+ or will be within the next couple years.
2007-07-09 00:04:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would not object at the wedding. I would make my objections known before the wedding, and if she chooses to do it anyway, I would either not attend the wedding (everyone will notice you aren't there and get the point) or go to the wedding to be supportive to your mom and keep my mouth shut. If you object, she'll probably marry him anyway, and you'll look like the brat that ruined her mom's wedding, no matter what the real reason is. If there is a reason that is endangering to your mom or you and your sister, I would seek the help of a professional. Good luck.
2007-07-09 16:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by LoveWithNoBoundaries 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The reason that "Objection" statement is in the wedding ceremony is so that a long time ago people who knew that it was not a legal marriage could let it be known, such as, one person was already married to someone else and not divorced, etc. The purpose is not for someone who doesn't like the bride or groom to voice their opinion. Your mother is an adult and I assume legally entitled to marry whomever she pleases, so it is none of your business. You will only look like a spoiled brat, and the wedding will go on. If you still live at home and can't tolerate the environment, move out. If he is abusing you or your sister, then report it to the police. If he is abusing your mom, then it is her problem that she is choosing to marry an abuser.
2007-07-09 00:04:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tis not fair for you to ruin your moms wedding day. If you're extremely concerned with this decision she's made, why have you not discussed your opinions earlier with her.? If you have, and she's chosen not to listen...there's not much you can do. You havn't mentioned how old you and your sister are..and what this "man" has done to make your lives 'miserable'?
Try again to talk to your mom about what you're feeling etc...If it still doesn't work......I would still NOT say anything to ruin her wedding~ Either don't go, or keep a lid on it...don't make a scene..something you may regret later on in life~ This is a decision your mom has made for whatever her reasons are...you need to accept that.
Best of Luck*
2007-07-09 00:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to play devil's advocate here and ask if he is genuinely being an ****** or maybe you all just don't understand each other and should try to find some common ground...starting with you both love your mom (i hope).
Don't surprise your mom by objecting her marriage at the ceremony, you'll just end up upsetting alot of people for a view that maybe only you share?
Sit down with your mom and sister and have a heart to heart conversation...no yelling. no criticizing. no interrupting!
Or If you still live at home...you'll just have to suck it up and cope with the fact that this is the man your mom is choosing and the house rules are going to be set by the two of them now. If your old enough to live on your own, then this may be the time to spread your wings!
also think about this...What would you do and how would you feel if you are at your own wedding about to merry the man of your dreams, only to have your mom yell out "I Object" in front of everyone at the ceremony just because she didn't see eye to eye with your husband to be? Wouldn't you be upset that she didn't trust your judgment? (again, I'm just playing devil's advocate here!)
2007-07-09 00:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by DaizyGurl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think that would stop anything?? Or just make you look like a brat? I would suggest asking for your Mom to give you some time to talk to her alone... Voice your concerns in a calm and no emotional manner. Give her the facts a let her know that you love her either way... But you didn't want her to get married without knowing that you objected. Be honest, but be prepared for a possible bad reaction. Before you do anything ask yourself why you think this guy is an ***.... Is he good to your Mom? Does he make her a better person or make her life better? Make sure you aren't being selfish and then get things off your chest.
2007-07-08 23:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by lnfinitelylnteresting 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
How old are you and how old are your sisters?
How is he making your lives miserable?
Lack of detail.
If he's an "asshole" because he reprimands you and doesn't let you get away with anything, then I don't think you should object.
However if he's an "asshole" because he is physically and verbally and emotionally abusive, then you should be talking to her before the wedding, or to a counselor at school.
But, more details are needed.
2007-07-09 10:41:04 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The time and place for objections are before the wedding, not during the ceremony. I'm sure your mom knows how you feel and it hasn't changed her mind. Just because you think he's a jerk doesn't mean he is. You could be a totally spoiled brat.
2007-07-09 00:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her before the wedding, with your sister. What if the offical doesn't ask if any one objects??? Then you wouldn't get your chance anyway. Make your feelings known and if you really do object then don't go to the ceremony.
2007-07-09 05:59:52 · answer #11 · answered by Krystal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋