currently 35 years old. We love each other and have a great time together. He plays with my daughter all the time. We do not live together. He has met my family, but only minimally and me the same with his. Our friends have never really met and they do not hang out together. We see each other once or twice a week. His mother currently lives with him due to an illness that makes her unable to work. I know this sounds very convulted, but I am trying to get all the facts out. After three years, the only real milestone that we have ever breached is the "I love you." I am not currently wanting to get married right now...I am divorced and do not wish to repeat it. I just do not know what to do. I want us to move on to another step, but he always acts like such a committment-phobe. What should I do? When I am with him, I always am so happy, but sometimes I see other couples who seem so much more connected than we are and it depresses me. Any advice?
2007-07-08 16:45:21 · 9 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to ask yourself for what you are really waiting. Some things you mentioned seem not to mesh very well. On one hand you find happiness when you are with him and your daughter, but on the other you seem to lack fulfillment socially. It sounds as though friends are very important to you; more than that though, you seem to desire a much more involved relationship. For a complete relationship it seems like your involvements needs to be in a broader context. You indicate that you want the relationship to move to another step. Have you asked yourself what the next milestone should be? Being connected means different things for different people. Maybe it means that he and you spend time together, with friends, with family, and that you do so more often. Do you like or dislike his mother? Are you more of a social person than he is? What is it that makes you happy when you are with him? Decide on some specific things you desire and hope to see happen.
2007-07-08 17:56:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit down with him and have a talk about your future together. He is 35 and likely thinks things are just fine the way they are. Why screw up a good thing? Right now he has no obligation or responsibility. He can come and go as he pleases and likes that aspect of the relationship. You need to ask yourself, how are you going to feel when you are 37 and he is 45. You daughter will be a teenager. Do you want her to repeat this in her life? Think about it.
2007-07-08 16:50:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both need to lay it down on the line what it is you want from each other*~ YOu both obviously love each other and want to be together as you have been for past 3 1/2 yrs...you need to let him know clearly, that you don't want to remarry...but you want to spend more time together* Perhaps suggest you move in with him and his mom and you can help out also* Be clear that there is NO Commitment there of having to marry you which may just scare him.....he may just go for it~* See what he has to say* At least you'll know where you both stand~* goodluck
2007-07-08 16:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guess residences replaced into previous due for sophistication for doing her stable deed, eh? I agree that he will probable get it yet while it have been as much as me i constructive does not supply him a three year deal or that lots if I have been a GM. probable why I artwork in a food market and not for an NHL team. BQ* final adventurous ingredient I did I even have been whining approximately for 2 days. We began out on trip the former day morning and my Fusion's emergency brake does not disengage and it replaced into inflicting the bearings to warmth up. no longer a robust thank you to start a visit. we could desire to constantly have taken the Mustang convertible which has air yet NO, the husband says, "enable's take the Jeep." The Jeep is in basic terms 2 years previous regardless of the indisputable fact that it truly is a worry-unfastened type devoid of air or cruise administration. Over 12 hours later we arrived after lots of the day in ninety diploma climate. The windshield replaced into stable ineffective, smeared bugs. It replaced into an journey all top and we could desire to constantly do it back next week to get decrease back homestead. i'm praying fo cooler climate.
2016-10-19 03:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time for the two of you to sit down together and decide what you are going to do. If you get married, are you willing to have his mother live with you or provide a place close by for her to live? If you don't want to get married right now, then when might you want to get married? 10 or 20 years from now? Do you and this guy think you might want children together? Your clock is ticking. It is time the two of you made some plans for the future or moved on to someone else.
2007-07-08 16:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you move on to someone who has time for you and cares about your feelings.
It sounds like this is at a dead end.
You don't really know each others families or each others friends after 3 1/2 yrs? Something is not right here.
Are you sure it's his mother who lives with him?I would certainly question that.
You deserve much better than this.
2007-07-08 16:54:16 · answer #6 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married before. Had I been given the advice I now hear over a radio program: "Advice Line" (www.fhu.com), I'd still be apart of a loving family. From what you say, your boyfriend is afraid of a close relationship. Mr. Masters (the hoast 1-800-866-8883 M-F 9pm-mid pst) can give you great, Fatherly guidance. His advice will be far better than mine. I'd recommend you follow your conscience, NOT your feelings (for they always lie to you).
2007-07-08 17:08:04 · answer #7 · answered by lovethefhu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not the right guy for you, and you are not the right guy for him. My 2 cents - break up with him. A clean break. The right one is out there and you'll miss him if you're all in drama with this one.
2007-07-08 16:48:21 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like you need to sit down and talk to him about what
you really want in this realtionship, it sound llike you are looking for more then he willing to give you. and if that the
case you may have to make the break and leave it along.
2007-07-08 16:51:37 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋