Neighbor's child...is this neglect/abuse?

Question

Even when I'm in my house with windows closed, I can hear my neighbor screaming at her 5 year old boy. Several months ago, she yelled at him, "you don't want to go to mommy's bedroom, 'cause you know what that means!" And she yelled at him because he wanted her to read the same bedtime story as the night before. Well, last night at midnight, her screaming almost made me jump out of my skin. She even swore at him. He was yelling back at her to "stop it!" So after the yelling ended, she had the TV on very loud in her bedroom with her window open facing my window (we live 8 feet apart). The boy was up until 3:15 AM running around his room & jumping off his bed & turning his light on & off. What is a 5 year old doing up until 3:15 AM? Meanwhile, his mom never intervened...her TV was on loud thru the night so maybe the TV tuned her boy out & maybe she was asleep. Is this a form of neglect with the mother screaming at her boy, & the boy running around his room until 3:15 AM?

If I called family services or the cops, she would assume it's me, and there would be hell for me to pay...she is not a nice person and she hates me. I hope she's not physically hurting this boy. Family services was called in the past, I guess because she didn't supervise her then 3 year old son, and she assumed I called, so she started yelling nasty things towards me. She definitely has anger issues. She is a single mom to the one boy. She has been yelling at her boy since he was one years old. When he would cry, she would never comfort him. When he would fall off his bike, she would not help him get up. She used to leave him by himself outdoors with little or no supervision as early as 3 years old. One time he disappeared for over 10 minutes, and instead of looking for him herself, she sent a 6 year old girl to look for him.

One last thing, I think that this woman keeping her TV on loud all night is irresponsible because how can she wake up if her boy starts crying and needs something during the night if the noise of TV blocks out any noise her son may make? Plus, he was jumping off his bed, moving his bed, and running around his bedroom from after midnight until 3:15 AM. If she didn't have her TV on, she would be able to hear that her son was up running around.

Answer 1

You can always report something to the 'hot line' for your local social service agency that handles this (human services, dept of families and children, etc...it's different depending on where you live). You reporting something does a few things. One, it allows you to feel more at peace knowing you told the proper people, and two, it puts a decision into their hands whether to act or not. They have a few options. They can log it and do nothing until more complaints are made. They may log it and decide to investigate, sending someone to the home. They will not name you and you can remain anonymous. These agencies do their best to keep children with their biological parents and offer help. They are not designed to take away kids without attempting to offer assistance first. I would encourage you to call, knowing that it puts it into the hands of people trained to investigate and look into these kinds of things. Alternatively, you could call the police and make a complaint. Of course, you could also do both. However, in my opinion, a social service agency can offer the kind of help and support this parent so obviously needs, while the police will likely treat things in a more punitive, less helpful way. Remember, your obligation is to that child and not to the adult. If your gut tells you it's bad, then listen to your gut and make a call. Good luck, as an educator, I've had to make these calls in the past and I know they are not pleasant or something that is enjoyable at all.

Answer 2

The way I see it is not a clear-cut definition of neglect. Maybe here room is where she spanks him. What did she say to him when she swore at him? Did she call him a name or something?? If she did I think that would fall under emotional or mental abuse. She very well could have been asleep when the boy was up playing with the light switch. If you are that worried about it video tape it and send to family services, or let a local police officer view the tape and see if there is anything the police department can do.

Answer 3

I understan how you could be worryed about her knowing it was you who called but think about this if you where that 5 year old little boy wouldnt you want someone to help you, have you ever watched these biogrophys where childern when mintuley abused and there turned out to be crazy people, i mean i know that sounds silly, but she cant not do anything to you she can contuine to hurt this little boy and u are the only one that can help., i dont think that a 5 year old that is all there would be running around and doing them things at 3in the morning, if there is anyway you could tape it, that would be better for the little boy to maybe get in to a better inviroment.

Answer 4

So what if she assumes it's you. This has to be stopped in my opinion. I believe that this is neglect. Apparently not all mothers agree with me, but I would never do that to a child mine or someone else's. And I would hate it if someone treated me that way. A 5 year old is a human as well, and feels what we feel.
You know that it's not good becuase you are very concerned and as a concerned neighbor you have a right to make the call.
I say you should. Hope everything goes well.

Answer 5

This little boy is in danger and it sounds as if he has some severe problems (staying up to 3 am). You admit yourself that you are not totally sure he is being physically abused but he is none the less being abused. She may make nasty comments to you, you can handle that, even if you have to get a peace order. Think of this little guy. Does he deserve this treatment, he is being abused. Only you can decide what to do, you have to look in your mirror and see yourself and you have to live with your decision if something should happen to this little boy. Think long and hard. What does your heart say to do when you picture this little boy in your mind ?

Answer 6

Ummm... probably! Ya know, it's a fact that females rape too. Is that what it means when she was talking about the bedroom? And when he was yelling at her to stop it? You should call the police and tell them exactly what you've been asking us and ask him the same question. If he answers with "Why are you calling when you dont know?" Simply tell him you are concerned, and that it sounds like the boy was being beaten. And dont forget to mention that u could hear it with the windows shut. But ya know what? Do a little more investigating b4 u do any po po calling.

Answer 7

Sounds to me like this child is being neglected and abused.Swearing,yelling and threatening is abuse not to mention being up till 3:15 am.
Maybe the mother is on her own and needs help but it sounds like the child may need it even more.
I would definetly speak to someone about this.Talk to the police and see what they have to say.You would feel horrible is something happened to this little child and you had done nothing.
The police can advise you and they have special units for family matters.It won't hurt to make a call to them for your own piece of mind.They can send an officer out to talk to you.Just tell them you have concerns about a child.

Answer 8

Call child services!!!! your worried about her being abusive and sit back and do nothing and the boy gets hurt are you going to be able to live with yourself. If the woman gets iolent with you you can defend yourself or call the cops the kid can't. I think you should always do what is in a childs best interest.

Answer 9

Yes this is neglect. If someone does not contact the authorities soon there is every reason to expect this to turn to physical abuse. Make the call. Even if you are wrong it is much better to be safe. There is a child here that needs help. Be that help.

Answer 10

before you start calling anything "abuse or neglect" have you thought that the mum could be having a very hard time , she may need someone to help her with her child , she may be by her self so ask her if she needs a hand ...baby sit for her or something else she might need doing , if she tells you to p off the ring up welfare and have a chat to someone there , tell them what you have seen and heard ...thats all you can really do ... except close your window's