I met this guy last fall, and we went on a few dates...to the movies, etcetera, and I discovered I didn't like him, and told him. We weren't even going out, but he said something about not wanting to even live if he couldn't have me, so I told him we would always be friends. Then he started leaving very sexually explicit e-mails and things and he totally freaked me out, so I told him to back off. He apologized, but soon after went back to the explicit e-mails and then told me that "he would always be around." Well, anyway, I blocked him from everything and I went to visit friends for a couple months in another state. I just got back two days ago, and today I was at the library and he followed me all around town (there was no one around) and then I thought I had lost him but I realized that he had followed me home and watched me go into my apartment. What should I do? I'm scared of him and I don't know why, and I don't know what I should do.
2007-07-08 15:37:30 · 16 answers · asked by Nipivy 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
i would call the cops on him. if you have any of the emails he has sent you that will help them, but if you don't, just a general question/answer with the police will help. they will take down all of his information (all that you have and can give) and they will ask what exactly he is doing and when. also be prepared to give a description of him, his vehicle etc... at least the police will have the info on hand and if things don't get better and he does continue following you and/or emailing you they will have his info handy. they will probably contact him face to face or by phone to let him know that you have reported him and that he needs to back off. i had the same type of incident occur and once i spoke with the police things got better.
2007-07-08 15:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by kdjs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely get a restraining order so there is a record that he has been notified to leave you alone. Also make a report with the police and make sure he is listed as suspect on the report so they have a record on file. Talk with a detective about things you can do to try and get him to stop. Maybe they can contact him and warn him and see if that will work (don't get too confident it will work, though).
Contact the Community Relations Bureau at the police department and have them come out and give you safety tips and tell you how to secure your apartment. They can check your windows and doors and tell you the best ways to secure them.
Get pepper spray and an audible alarm to carry with you when you are out somewhere, and always leave outside lights on so the place is lit up at night. Put timers on lights in your apartment so you don't go into a dark place.
Personally, I'd be moving out of town, even if it meant getting another job and all.
Good luck
2007-07-08 23:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to call the police if her continues, and get a restraining order. If you really don't feel safe, I'd stay with a friend or relative for a couple days to be on the safe side. You never know what someone could be thinking.
Don't let it go, do something. It's not right to stalk people.
2007-07-08 23:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by ld913 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being STALKED!
It started with an invitation to dinner, right? Or perhaps it began with a gift of flowers from an anonymous admirer. Or maybe it began with a peculiar letter from a "fan." Or it started with a silent, ominous watcher. Or maybe it started with a growled threat.
However it started, you now feel uncomfortable every time the phone rings, every time you have to be out alone at night, every time you go to your car or reach for your mail. He is out there, somewhere, and his unceasing, unwanted attentions make your skin crawl and your hands clammy.
You never thought it would happen to you, but you are being stalked.
Stalking is an insidious crime that eats away at your sense of security, leaving you feeling more vulnerable than ever before in your life.
So, what do you do now?
Consider that you could be in danger. Report it to the police. Keep a very careful log of every incident and every situation. Get a buddy..a girlfriend..or preferably a big boy"friend" or brother/father..to go with you everywhere..or at least as many public places as possible..so that this stalker can see that you are aware that he is there and you are not going to give him a chance by being alone. Also..most stalkers are really cowards..that's why they stalk...so if you find yourself in a public place..and there he is..wait for him to get close to you..turn around..and SCREAM in his face as loud as you can...to STOP FOLLOWING ME OR I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR STALKING! Make as big a scene as you can. Then slam him with everything you can legally..restraining order..have the police go to his work to serve him with the order...that type of thing. Stalking is a crime..so the police must get involved for you to be protected in any way.
2007-07-08 23:02:59 · answer #4 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody has the right to make you feel like a hostage. The more you run, the more he'll chase you. If he knows you're scared, that'll motivate him.
I suggest turning the tables on him. Tell him you know where he lives; find out everything about him. And tell him that if you even sense him following you, you'll bring an army to his doorstep.
Or you could just document everything and call the cops and file a restraining order.
2007-07-08 22:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by duh37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Get a restraining order. They are useless but they will make you feel better.
2. Apply for and get a gun permit. Also get training in how to use one. Take an attitude that you will use the weapon if the person is found inside your place of residence. We are talking survival here, not political correctness.
3. Get training in one of the unarmed combat techniques. I suggest Jiu Jitsu.
2007-07-08 22:55:28 · answer #6 · answered by MICHAEL R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These people are called "Stalkers" You are very right to be afraid. Contact your local Police and make sure they listen to you. Men like that can and do harm innocent women. Don't take this lightly. You are at risk and need protection. Save the e-mails and show them to the police! Get yourself to a safe place until this nut-bag is arrested!
2007-07-08 22:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by ToolManJobber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are scared of him with a very good reason to be. Go to the police right away. Also, I don't know how you are but I have like 5 guns. I would get a license to carry one if I were you. I cant believe you haven't already reported this. He is stalking you which is very scary and very illegal. Get help right away.
2007-07-08 23:18:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the local police and tell them to drive by your house every now and then and give them the description of him. If they see him near they will remove him and you can get a restraining order on him, I think that would be the best thing to do even though I doubt he would do anything to you but people are crazy these days.
2007-07-08 22:46:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can and should file a restraining order but that is only a peace of paper that will not protect you when needed most. I recommend carrying some form of self protection, a great place to get high quality, low cost products is at:
www.TasersAndMace.com
2007-07-09 13:21:26 · answer #10 · answered by war03vet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋