**10 points** to first helpful answer?

Question

IS IT A SIN TO LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE BUT YOU DONT HAVE SEX? IF SO WOULDNT IT BE A SIN TO HAVE ROOMATES?

Answer 1

The answer to this question depends somewhat on what is meant by “living together.” If it means having sexual relations – it is definitely sinful. Premarital sex is repeatedly condemned in Scripture along with all other forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13,18; 7:2; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence outside of (and before) marriage. Sex before marriage is just as wrong as adultery and other forms of sexual immorality, because they all involve having sex with someone you are not married to.

If "living together" means living in the same house, that is perhaps somewhat of a different issue. Ultimately, there is nothing wrong for a man and a woman to live in the same house – IF there is nothing immoral taking place. However, the problem arises in that there is still the appearance of immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3) and it will be a tremendous temptation for immorality. The Bible tells us to flee immorality, not expose ourselves to constant temptations to immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Then there is the problem of appearances. A couple that is living together is assumed to be sleeping together – that is just the nature of things. Even though living in the same house is not sinful in and of itself, the appearance of sin is being given. The Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble or be offended. As a result, it is not honoring to God for a couple to live together before marriage.

Recommended Resource: Why True Love Waits by Josh McDowell.

Answer 2

Roomates arent bad or a sin. Most say that if a man and a woman live together before marriage that they might have sex. Its just not good because then you guys wont have the temptation.

Answer 3

I like your question. It shows an honesty and openness that is rare on Y!A R+S category.
I would have to say that the sin of living together before marriage, regardless of not having sex, has to do with the example you are setting for the unbelievers.
It is a Christian's responsibility to take into consideration the conscience of people who might be observing your conduct, and as such might be able to find fault with your choices based upon their conclusions. A lot is at stake here. Anyone who takes upon themself the responsibility of representing the Christ, has to consider that all of their actions areunder scrutiny by those who are watching. For the sake od those who might otherwise be saved, you need to put their eternal destinations to the fore of your mind and consider that to live together before marriage is what a worldly person would do, not what a compassionate Christian would do.

Answer 4

No, it's not a sin to live together before marriage if you don't have sex. It's just a risky proposition because it puts two people into a position where there is no accountability and where temptation is ever present.

Answer 5

Yes it is. If it's a man and a women living together it's a sin because even though they might not be having sex, both might still have lustful thoughts, emotions. and in these cases one thing usually leads to another.

Also, I don't see the problem if the roommates are all guys or all girls. But when they mix, it is a problem.

Answer 6

What do you think about Christian singles living with members of the opposite sex? I have two friends (a man and a woman) who work for a college campus ministry organization, and live in a house together.

All told, there are four young men and the woman living in this house. My male friend has a girlfriend, but the rest of the young men and the woman are all single. I say that unmarried men and women should not live together, whether they are dating, cohabitating or just roommates. I seem to be the only one in my Bible study with this opinion.

Since my friends are merely roommates, and not romantically involved, everyone else seems to think their living arrangement is acceptable. I say it's not, since it is not a good witness and goes against what we all profess about couples not living together before marriage.

What are your thoughts?

REPLY

You are dead on. It is a very poor witness for Christian singles of the opposite sex — in ministry no less! — to be living in the same house together. They are damaging their credibility as Christians and especially leaders in ministry.

What if a single young guy and girl who attend their campus ministry meetings want to move in together "just as roommates"? What will their counsel be? "Well, the two of you shouldn't do that, because it looks bad, but if you can find about 3 or 4 other guys or girls it's OK." Huh?

Christians who believe it's OK to have opposite-sex roommates or housemates (we'll leave cohabiting for another time) have made two very significant mistakes in their thinking.

One, they have agreed with the feminists, who for 40 years have tried to get us to believe that, outside a few plumbing issues, men and women are essentially the same, that there is nothing uniquely masculine about men, nor feminine about women. We can be great buddies, fight alongside each other in combat, share public restrooms, and live together! This flies in the face of scripture. Men and women aren't the same. To throw a girl in the mix of a bunch of guys living together, and think it's essentially the same as throwing another guy in there, is a victory for the feminists. "Oh, we won't be tempted sexually, we're just friends!" And all the feminists said, "Amen!" (Of course the feminists wouldn't care so much about temptation — casual hook ups are like shaking hands).

Two, as Christians these young people have a responsibility to live in such a way that it benefits and builds up others. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 says, "'All things are lawful,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful,' but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." In a college setting, where the hook-up culture is doing everything it can to tear down healthy relationships between guys and girls, Christians should be making every effort to live as counter-cultural to that as possible. Opposite-sex roommates send a weak message to a world that desperately needs a salt-saturated standard.

I hope you'll keep urging them to change their living arrangements, for their sake, for the sake of those who are watching them, and for the Lord's sake, who commands us to "do all to the glory of God."

Answer 7

Well that's just plain silly isn't it. In days gone passed people lived in houses that consisted of one room. Some still do.

When religion talks of "living together" they are contemplating that people might consumate the arrangement by intercourse outside of marriage... and I suppose what is the intention is that the marriage bond carries with it responsibilities of caring and raising the offspring (who in turn must be appropr iately indocrinated into the particular religion involved thereby increasing the mob and subsequent power).

Answer 8

When you live together there are times when you won't be able to control yourself.

1 Corinthians, Chapter 6, vs18:
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body

1 Corinthians, Chapter 7, vs2:
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Answer 9

I think it's all in the intent. God knows our heart. To live with someone we love in a romantic way and abstain from sex is kind of like an alcoholic going into a bar. Why go there? Why be tempted? I never loved any of my roommates in a romantic way, so no, I don't see that as the same.

Let me restate that God knows our heart. I know a lesbian couple who are Christians, and who are no longer involved physically with each other. They do live together, but they don't sleep in the same bedroom or even do anything beyond a hug in departing. Now in my opinion, I would not be able to do that because of where their relationship used to be, but God knows their heart, and it is a big step for a lesbian couple to deny their flesh like that in such a big way and follow Christ. Also, this comes to mind:

Romans 14:5-7
5One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone.

Answer 10

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