does anybody have any advice?

Question

i have a 18mnth old little boy he is so buzy he must touch everything i know thats what kids do but he also very rough he hits and bite other kids, his dad myself and i have no idea on how to dicipline him. hes not talkn yet so i dont know what to do. can anybody hlp me out.

Answer 1

i feel for you, this must be a difficult time. you are just going to have to stay calm and hope that this is a phase that will pass.

you cannot punish him though as he cannot talk yet he might not understand why he is being punished which may cause distress and upset.

Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 2

We have been disciplining our daughter using "time out" since she was 9 months old, although we have progressed in that time from the "naughty playpen" to a naughty chair, so your child really isn't too young to discipline. She is two now and (I'm told!) really well-behaved, so I think it does pay off.

There are several rules about disciplining children:
1. Always be consistent - don't tell them off for something one day and let them do it the next
2. Always see through a "punishment" and don't give in because they throw a tantrum or something
3. You and your partner should agree the rules and stick with them.
4. Praise and make a fuss of him when he is good so he doesn't think his entire life is made up of "Nos".
5. Always remind your child what the consequences of not obeying will be so they can "make up" their own minds whether to obey or not. This teaches them that they have responsibility for their own actions.

We always give our daughter a warning and tell her what the consequences will be - for example "If you touch that again, you'll sit on the naughty step" or "We're gentle to people and that means not hitting. If you don't say sorry for hitting X, you'll go to the naughty step and if you hit them again you'll lose a toy". If your son doesn't stop or repeats the behaviour after you've given them a warning, then you must carry out the punishment in full and immediately. If my duaghter refuses to stay on the naughty chair during time out, we always put her back on and restart the clock (1 minute for every year of their life for time out) and tell her if she gets down again she'll lose a toy. At the end of time out I remind her gently why she was put there, then she always has to say sorry (or if your son's not talking "kiss mummy or daddy sorry" and then we have a big hug. I never mention the naughty behaviour again because she has done her punishment and it's not fair. If she's lost a toy because of refusing to stay on the chair, she doesn't get it back until she has demonstrated good behaviour.

Since she was 18 months old, we have also been using a reward chart for good behaviour, with one goal every so often, such as tidying up toys. We've found that works as well because children like being rewarded for good behavour.

It takes a couple of days to get your child used to a punushment and reward system, so you have to persevere, but it really is worth in the end.

Answer 3

Parenting will be the thoughest job that you two will ever have. But also the most rewarding one.
Jean Piaget who was an early childhood developmental specialist has written about that particulary subject.

Here is a link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Piaget

Where you can read about. The other thing is maybe you ought to seek a specialist in early childhood development. And have your child tested for the possibility of either ADHD or ADD ( Attention Hypertension Disability or Attention Disorder). Discipline is the key but it takes a more rather tending loving care (TLC), a time committment and daily intervention with your son. Him beeing busy, he needs a very structured environment. Meaning he needs to have a routine to which both you the parents and him can stick to such as.

1.) 8:00 am get up for the day , get washed, brush teeth, get breakfast.
2.) 8:30 - 9:00 low key activities such as playing with play dough, or help him purchasing some crayons that he can handle in his age and paper. Crayons has paper and pens now, that won't smear all over the walls. etc.
3.) 10:00 am 10:45 am baby swimming with parents in a local baby swimming group.
4.) 11:00 - 11:45 getting his lunch and getting him ready to take a nap.

You get my trift? I have a niece that is very hyper. And as a retired social worker, who has worked with head start children who some of them suffered from ADD, I can assure you once you set a routine that you and your boy will fall into place, peace and happiness will restore your home.
But you need to be continusly with him and a daily effort in doing the same routine. Without any exceptions unless he is ill. Ask a specialist that deals with ADD. Ask a pediatrician to test your son for ADDor ADHD. Good luck . Sincerely Angelika

Answer 4

Children dont automatically know what is right or wrong, they need to be taught this by their parents. Also, telling them "thats naughty!" doesn't mean that they know WHAT is naughty. You need to explain callmly and clearly "Hitting is naughty, and you will be punished if you do it." Even if he doesn't understand this...he soon will.

The next step, is to be tough. If you say you are going to punish him....then do it. Don't back down even though you may want to!

You need to choose your punishment them. A naughty step is always good I think. When he does something naughty...warn him....if he does it again, take him to a naughty step (or time out area) and just sit him on your lap facing forward so he cant see you. Sit there until he calms down, or for 5 minutes. DONT talk to him, or rock him or anything. Children love attention!

When you have finished, tell him why he just sat on the naughty step, and that if he hits again, he will go back on it.

Another thing is...when he plays with other kids and DOESN'T hit them...make a big fuss of him. Tell him what a good boy he is for not hitting and give him a cudde.

Hope this helps x

Answer 5

Health visitors in the u.k. today would not agree with Bigbeauty - you would probably be arrested for assault on your child BUT it really does work. If your child bites someone, tell him/her off immediately and in a no nonsense voice - this is not Mummy playing - this is serious. NO means NO or there are consequences. Don't shout - be firm. If your child repeats the action, then bite him/her. Quickly then draw back and wait for the reaction - screams of outrage - let the child scream and when it stops, which it will, point to where you bit it and to where it bit the other child. Some PC idiots will say that violence only begets violence but this actually stops it.

Answer 6

my sons are 3 and 1 and when they start being mean to other kids they have to sit on my lap in time out. if they bite someone i smak their mouth. biting them back just makes them do it more. all kids touch things my boys are boys rough and tounble and i am a single mom. so i try my best to diceplan them.

Answer 7

People don't give kids enough credit! Just because he isn't talking doesn't mean he can't understand. Speak to him as you would an older child, ie...say "no...don't hit Fred....". Give him a couple of chances....2nd time..."Mummy said no...don't hit Fred, we don't hit people". 3rd time "I said no hitting..... next time I'll put you in timeout/cot/whatever...." Last time..."right....I'm putting you in timeout/cot/whatever, because we don't hit people".
Just for the record, my dughter was speaking in sentences at that age.....and I'm sure he understands things like "get teddy", "are you hungry?" You have to start when they are young.....otherwise when they are older and you start to try to implement rules, they won't take you seriously because you've never had expectations of them previously.
Good luck..... you just need to be consistent.....and don't bite him....... just tell him biting hurts and we don't hurt people.

Answer 8

my son bit me one i flicked him at the side of the mouth he never did it again also use the time out technique do it for a couple of mins(2-5)it should turn his behaviour round if not i would seek proffesional help with your doctor / midwife good luck and hope this works for you as did me

Answer 9

my 14mth old is at the same stage biting his brother and sisters my eldest bit him back and sure as fate he didnt bite him back cruel yeah but it worked

Answer 10

well the health visitor in the Uk used to tell moms in the same situ bite him back
dunno if thats what i would do
give it a try lol