should i go back?

Question

i was in partial hospitazlation for cutting, taking a few to many pills, ect. i was there for about 2 weeks, and requested to go because i didnt want to be tehre anymore. so i was discharged. yet prior to going, i hadnt cut that much just i kept thinking of not so good things. but since i left my behaviors have worsened and i dont know if i should tell my therapist that because i dont know if i will even up going back there. i know i should probably get help, but i dont want my mother to be apart of it and know all this again. should i tell my therapiast this and ask if i should go back? because she even told me she thinks i should have stayed longer. but im not sure i want to. any suggestions

Answer 1

If you really want to change and at least try to quit than you should probably go. You could always tell your mom that your going on vacation and than she wouldnt have to know where you really are. Hope everything works out for you. Good luck

Answer 2

Do you know what a contract for safety is? If yes, do you have one in place with your therapist? If no, you might want to bring it up for discussion.

A contract for safety is simply your word to your therapist that if you get into "stinkin' thinkin'", you'll contact her before you take action. She may be able to talk you down, she might have you come in as soon as possible, or, as you know, she might tell you to get your butt to an ER and get medical help on the spot.

I haven't cut in a while, but when I did it wasn't about pain. Well partly, but mostly it was because I felt so empty on the inside I cut just to see the blood and reassure myself that there really was something inside me, I wasn't a hollow shell.

Was the hospitalization helping? Why didn't you want to be there anymore? Do you want to stop cutting, or stop having to worry about getting caught and explaining the scars? There's a big difference; the hospital can help with one, but will only exacerbate the other.

What happens when your mother is involved? Is she getting any counseling for how she can best support you and help you get through this?

I've been there hon, but IME every cutter is different so I can't say I know how you feel or what you're going through. I can only say that I know the feeling of needing to cut and the feeling of release immediately after. I also know the shame, fear, anger and self-hatred that follow.

If you want to try these, I have a few suggestions for getting past the urge: wear a rubber band around your wrist at all times. When you get the urge, snap the rubber band. This is supposed to simulate the pain, and release the same endorphins as cutting. Or hold an ice cube in your fist as long as you can stand it. Also painful, and a distraction that will hopefully get your mind off that blade. If you cut for the blood like I did, some people get relief by applying red paint or nail polish to the place they are thinking of cutting. This is supposed to trick your mind into thinking you've already cut.

If none of those works, join the club - and call your therapist.

Answer 3

Yes, go back and get the help. I have done the cutting thing and it has to do with feelings of worthlessness. I found that causing myself to hurt on the outside covered the inner pain I was feeling. I didn't tell anyone for a long time. When I confided in my sister, she was mad at me and made me promise to not do it again. I kept my promise, but sometimes still periodically feel the need to do it again. It is about self-esteem and self-worth. When we do this to ourselves, it is because we hate ourselves. If you were abused or neglected, that could be why you do this to yourself. It was in my case. I talk openly about it now, no secrets anymore. I think you should continue with the therapy so you don't do something more serious to yourself. Good Luck.

Answer 4

yes go back ur lucky u have some place 2 for ur cutting

Answer 5

No one can answer that but you and a mental health professional. Only if you WANT to get better will you get better.

Answer 6

Go back and get electroconvulsive therapy.

Answer 7

i think you should go bak if its that bad... follow your heart