how can i stop cutting myself??

Question

help me i need to stop!! but my heart hurtz....

Answer 1

Here's an excerpt from one of my previous poss to a similar question. (My apologies to those who've seen my post before, I keep posting it as the info doesn't change and there are so many new askers that may not see the old questions-sorry!)

Anyway, hope this may help you find the reason why you do it and offer you some ideas to get started on your goal:

There are multiple reasons why people self-mutilate and each case needs to be explored individually. The most common reason is that it occurs in order to induce a dissociative state and assists people who have been traumatized with achieving a state of emotional numbness and you hear it described as soothing for them. The physiological basis for it stems from the release of endorphins-the brain's natural painkillers-which function much like opiates and dull the experience of emotional pain. Other reasons include the opposite rationale-people who feel numb emotionally and who have shut down will self-mutilate in order to feel something and remember they are alive. Some people, particularly those who are in abusive situations, injure themselves as a way to exert control over when and how the pain is experienced. Others do it for self-punishment and feel relief from guilt or shame and see the letting of blood as a way to purge themselves of guilt. It may be a way of re-enacting and attempting to master early traumatic experiences This often happens during a dissociative state where people are recalling experiences which were traumatizing and they feel a need to punish/purge themselves for what they often mistakenly believe they have done wrong. There are also folks who do it as a way to cope with unrelenting chronic physical pain from other sources as it creates an alternative pain that distracts them from the chronic pain (think of the principle behind how a TENS unit works). In more rare instances it can be a response to psychotic states where folks are responding to command hallucinations or believe they are purging themselves from some evil inside them. There are other less common reasons, depending on the form of self-mutilation (eye enucleation, castration, etc.) that tend to be symbolic in nature. But most commonly it is done in response to increased feelings of tension with which the individual cannot cope and it becomes a way for them to dissociate their emotional pain and achieve an emotional numbing. The goal of treatment is to fully understand the reasons that sustain the behavior and in the latter case (the most common) to help people develop affect tolerance and the ability to cope with and soothe their emotional pain in healthier ways.

I'm a therapist and I agree with all the folks here who speak from personal experience that you need to speak with a professional that can help you explore healthier alternatives. The longer you wait, the harder it gets, so please seek some assistance. Cutting really only works for a while and eventually it'll lose its charm and you may find yourself cutting deeper and more often in order to achieve the same effect. Knowing why you cut and what cutting does for you at that moment will help you and the therapist discover what healthier options exist.

Just a couple of ideas to help get you started-try to stop in small steps. Set yourself a goal to not cut for a certain time period and when you've mastered that, set yourself a goal to refrain for longer periods, depending on how frequently you are cutting. Take it one day, one hour at a time if necessary. You can do this with each episode when you feel the impulse to cut in order to increase your self-control each time you feel the desire. What you'll also find is that as you go for longer and longer periods of time without giving in to the urge to cut, you'll become more aware of all your feelings and what is driving them and therapy can really help you to understand it better and give you options to consider. Ultimately you need to make a choice to stop the behavior or it won't stop. But for starters, try making a choice to refrain for a little longer than usual and challenge yourself to extend the time for longer and longer intervals. Setting a goal to stop can be daunting, but breaking it down into steps usually works and it allows you gradual access to your emotions so you can learn alternate methods of coping a little at a time.

Also, remove and get rid of all the things with which you regularly cut. Many people have certain items they use all the time and it becomes like a ritual. Removing these things will help you gain delay time by not having them readily accessible. It won't prevent you from getting other objects, but it will decrease the likelihood that you'll act on impulse alone.

Another option that has worked for some folks is to take a doll or stuffed animal that you love and cut it instead and then stitch it up or bandage it. It allows you to vent your feelings, but also helps you recognize and empathize with the pain you are inflicting by doing this and that in turn helps develop understanding towards yourself and gives you an opportunity to engage in actions designed to help heal the hurt. Loving something else, even a stuffed animal, is often a path towards learning to love and care for yourself.

Rubber bands, drawing a red line with a marker or ice are substitutes and some folks do find this helpful, but ultimately you need to break away from the cycle of causing yourself pain in order to numb up your emotions.

One other thought to consider. What you experience when you cut is really more like relief from pain than it is like truly feeling happy. The absence of pain is not the same as feeling happy, so don't settle for less than really being happy. Good luck!!!!

Answer 2

I've been a cutter for four years now. I don't cut very often anymore. But I have accepted the fact that it will always be a part of me. I've been there where you don't want to tell anyone, afraid of what would happen. If you really want to stop on your own, you have to find the motivation. Find something to do instead of cut. I also used writing, I would write all night long just to keep my mind off of it. Also doing something physical lets out certain chemicals that help you deal with the pain. So like running or a sport. Anything to keep you away from a razor. I also found that finding one good friend that really cares helps when it comes to talking about it. One good friend who won't tell but also gives you the inspiration to not cut. You don't cut for them. Have them check your wrist or whatever every once and awhile so then you have motivation not to cut. The hardest part is telling someone...but sometimes it's for the best. After about 3 and a half years of cutting, I finally told my mom. I cried and cired, but when she told me that she'd been there too, it was the most comforting piece of news, and as I say I barley touch my skin with a razor anymore. It's hard, but sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same.

Answer 3

Ok i know you probly read like whole buncha answers that say this but, tell your parents and get a therepist. I cut for a few months then my parents found out and sent me to a therepist. I havent cut since february! Also why do you cut? Anger? A problem at home? Depression? Dessperation? Loss of a love one? Feeling of loss of self?
Here are some temporary relief things:
take a walk
play outside
write in a journal
listen to music
do something active
talk to a friend
Put your finger in a really cold, hard food
take a shower or bath with out razors
sign up for a contact sport like karate, wrestling or something like that
do anything to get your mind off of things!
here are some websights that may help you:
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/
http://www.girlslife.com/index.php?id=93
http://www.psyke.org/faqs/cutting/
http://vinland.org/scamp/institute/dsh.html
http://www.geocities.com/within_the_stars/urges.htm
oh yea a few other things are, get what ever you are cutting with out of where you are cutting
if you need to talk to someone my email is [e-mail]
hope i helped xox3

Answer 4

Cutting is a coping skill - a negative one, but effective in the short term.

Are you getting any professional help to get to the root cause of your cutting? I'm sorry your heart is hurting so much; there is hope, both for your emotional pain and the cutting.

The only thing that actually curtailed my cutting was telling someone that I was getting ready to cut - usually my husband - somehow, someone else knowing about it lessened the pleasure of cutting, and also made it harder to do because he would keep me in sight, and cutting was a private thing - not something I would do in front of ANYONE. The hard part was telling someone - it was a big battle between fighting for my health, and giving in to the desire for the feeling right after cutting.

Talk to someone, preferably a professional. You might also benefit from DBT; it's most commonly used these days to treat borderline personality disorder, but it was originally developed to help suicidal people get past the desire to hurt themselves and find other, healthier methods to deal with their pain.

Answer 5

I think everyone goes through this at least once in their life. Depression sucks because most of the time you don't realize how bummed out you are until it's too late. You have to change your habits. Your thought patterns. The best way Ive found to do this is focus on others. Do something that helps someone else in your life. it takes all your thoughts away from your own problems, and it feels really wonderful when you're able to help someone out. Volunteer. there are alot of organizations in your city who are looking for people to help out with various things. When you start feeling depressed, get outside. Fresh air and sunlight help change your attitude. Listen to upbeat music...anything that makes you want to dance. I love rusted root for this. Right now your mind is patterned to think a certain way about yourself, and you gotta change that. You're a beautiful person with so much to offer this world!! Get creative!! Enjoy life!!! it's so short. And trust me....it'll get so much better. :) You're strong. You can do it!

PS.....heart break is tough...but it's necessary. we all go through it. embrace it as a test...life is trying to teach you something. look at your life and what is going on in it. learn from it!!

Answer 6

hi doll, i still fight the urge to cut as well. completely understand what you are going through. i've done my research on this addiction and found some helpful tips to help satisfy this urge without the actual act of cutting.

here's some suggestions....
-hold an ice cube
-snap a rubber band against your wrist
-paint yourself with red paint (only if you need to see red)

i know some of the suggestions on the source might seem cheesy but it might help. for me, i find it helpful when i bite my lip,flick my fingers, or pinch myself.

hope some of these suggestions help. good luck. you have done a great job so far and i know you can fight this.

Answer 7

you have to really want to stop to stop. It took me about 4 months to quit. People always say on here to snap yourself with rubber bands and squeeze crushed ice and that didnt really work for me, but you should try it. If your heart hurts so bad maybe u should try to get anti depressents, they really help with mood swings and stuff like that. Dont listen to any emo/sad depressing music when you feel the need to cut, because that only makes it worse. If you need to talk you can message me, ill listen.

Answer 8

You need big time help but you are also THE one who can stop this. Need some psychological help to understand why this and then proceed to help your self. A broken heart will need time to heal.

Answer 9

Replace cutting yourself with something else, Like:
when I feel like cutting myself I will instead go to a movie, or go for a walk, or go shopping, or watever else you can think of that will not hurt u.

Answer 10

sweetie you need some mental health help. try calling a hotline or talking to someone you trust. time will heal your broken heart but you need some professional help to heal your mind. good luck sweetie

Answer 11

self-mutilation.. yeha i was into that too.. try a rubber band.. or ice when u feel like u wanna cut or draw.. or talk online.. or to friends...and just remember.. the pain will go away with time.. time is always the answer. if you need someone to talk to my aim is skittlezz620