I forgoet and was about to go out with my mom.He reminded me and I told my mom to go without me He wouldnt let me make him anything after that. To make it up to him I told him I would make him his fav. meal when he got off work. He didnt want his fav. meal so I looked online for some fancy chicken recipe and spent the last of my money going to get all the ingredients. I have been cooking all day and the a/c is broken in the apartment so imagine how HOT I am by the time he comes home. I finish everything about 10 min after he walked in and was about to fix our plates and he said not to make his. He wasnt hungry. Iget upset and turn everything off and go outside to cool off. He walks out and says he'll be back. He's all dressed up and i ask where he is going and he says hes going to a friends and will be back in an hour. I have a right to be pissed right?
2007-07-08 12:35:16 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, I think you have a right to be upset, but I have to wonder if these things happen often. It seems your boyfriend is very controlling. I think we all know that we all forget things, some of us more than others. It seems that he decided to punish you because you forgot to do this wonderful thing for him even after you offered to stay home and make it right.
You seem to be a very giving and thoughtful person. Do these kinds of things happen often? If so, maybe you should not be asking if you have the right to be pissed; but asking yourself, “Do I want to keep being demeaned and treated unfairly?” Life is so short and to stay in a relationship that is only for the other cannot provide you with the happiness you deserve.
2007-07-08 12:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by Cin Cin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if you act upset, you will be adding to the fuel he already has. Realize that he isnt upset about the missed meal - I mean he may be upset about that in addition to - but the reason he is upset is he feels like you didnt "remember' about him - like you took it for granted - I am not saying it makes sense, but imagine if it was the other way around - sometimes when we do that we can see the pic - he thought you were going to make a meal - aka show how much you love him - and he had to remind you because you made more plans - he is upset not about the meal and the breakfast - I think it could have been top notch omlettes to order or a bowl of cereal and he may have reacted teh same. He is unable to vocalize how he is feeling and needs to blow off some steam. Seal the plate up, leave it on the coutner with a note telling him you made this for him, it took a lto fo time...you hope he enjoys it, etc.
I mean if he is gone all night - that is a different story. HOwever, if you react right now he is going to react to you reactiong - it doesnt need to make sense - it is human nature. Let him chill, simmer down; maintain your composure and end up the bigger person - men, no matter how old or how mature, can act like babies - just remember, is a fight worth it? Or can you live wiht him cominghome to you, eating your food, and going to bed with you?
2007-07-08 12:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by maggiemckelvey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You messed up by forgetting your promise to him, but his reaction is out of proportion to what you did--after all, you spaced out; you weren't deliberately mean to him.
His feelings are hurt; that much is plain. At some point in the near future, maybe not today but soon, sit him down, take his hand, tell him you love him so much, and ask him why he's so upset. Then let him talk. Whatever he says, don't get defensive--he may surprise you. Remember, he didn't ask you to go to all that trouble of making a fancy dinner for him; he didn't ask you to make the first meal you forgot about either. So find out what's really bugging him.
His game playing needs to stop and you need to not start up with games either. Communication is the key. You two have to be able to talk openly to one another and be honest about your feelings without being judgmental about the other's. This is not about a missed meal, it's about something else. Until you find out what that something else is, you're doomed to repeat this again and again. It could mean a breakup if the root issue isn't fixed
2007-07-08 12:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by Harmless 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They really just mean 'eat something so you don't turn up already feeling a bit iffy from lack of food'. It could be pretty much anything. I suppose ideally you want something that isn't going to give you a sugar rush from which you'll subsequently crash back down, so I'd stay off sugary cereals and go for something with slow-release carbs (i.e. whole grains). Something like muesli, or scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast, would be good. But this is getting very involved; really, just eat something, and drink some fluids (of the non-alcoholic variety!) and you'll be fine. Enjoy getting tattooed!
2016-05-17 05:13:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems the two of you are so busy going tit for tat, that you both miss the point.
You made a promise to prepare him breakfast, and forgot. That upset him, but then his reaction was childish.
You assumed you could make it up to him with dinner, but he wan't prepared to accept the gesture for what it was - an apology. Maybe he had plans before that (but he should have told you), maybe he just wasn't hungry (you did say it was hot),or maybe he's just a childish fool.
Then you get upset again, and storm out, "pissed".
You two need to communicate on a more adult level. Stop the childish behaviour from BOTH of you. If you want to play growups, act like them. Sit down together and work out where its going wrong. Or you stand a chance of loosing this altogether.
2007-07-08 12:47:40 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy the food that you cooked. Just because he isn't there to eat it with you doesn't mean you need to miss out. Go eat and calm down a bit. Yeah, I would be upset, too, but there is probably something more going on. He is probably angry at YOU and not mature enough to actually tell you what is going on. He's acting angry, and almost is acting like he's punishing you in a way by not apprecaiting what you are doing for him. You need to talk to him. He may be upset at you and not have a way to tell you. Either way, have one talk with him and sit if you two can work things out. If you can't, walk away and find someone that is mature enough to come to you when they are upset.
2007-07-08 12:45:23 · answer #6 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have every right to be upset....I would be!
Actually, I would be upset from the beginning.....the fact that he threw a hissy fit and acted like a child because you didnt make him breakfast!
I think spending time with your mum is way more important than cooking a man a meal!
I suggest tomorrow night you serve him baked beans on toast (or something equally boring) and go out with the girls!!
2007-07-08 12:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by heymumma1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn to pick and chose your battles. If you carry on for ever little thing that these men do, your hole day would be ruined. Instead you get dressed and go out. Even if you go and hang out with your mother. Put his plate in the frig write a litte note and be out. It's summer have some fun.
2007-07-08 12:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by sodgirl6763 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do. Every one forgets at one time or another. Next time forget him, go with your mother, and let him find for himself. After all the trouble you went through, He is being an a**. I'll come over and eat his meal sounds good. Lots of love lady. Keep your chin up!!
2007-07-08 12:41:53 · answer #9 · answered by meowger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes! he has the right to be upset but not to be a big baby! So what? u forgot 1 meal. Big deal. He has to have gone through worse. If you've said sorry, and he hasn't forgiven you, don't waste your time trying to please him. If you spent all your time on a big fancy meal in a hot room and he didn't see anything in that, yes!!! u have a right to be angry
2007-07-08 12:41:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋