I have a great grandmother in a nursing home...she was sent there after her second stroke, a severe one, and she can barely talk and barely seems conscious. I went to visit her once with my mother, despite her warning me that she was in really bad shape, because I felt obligated to go and visit. But it was very depressing, because she really could not talk at all, she would stare off in space, she kept repeating "please, please" and we could not figure out what she wanted and she started getting angry.
I feel like I don't know what to do...I feel guilty because I know she is in there alone, but I feel like it is so hard to go there because I don't know what to do, I can't even talk to her because she can't talk back, and she always asks for things that nobody can understand what she wants.
What would you do in this situation?
2007-07-08 11:08:42 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you and your great-grandmother close ? If you are then you should go and see her when you can. If not, don't put yourself through it. She is no doubt being given drugs to keep her comfortable[ or so that they don't have to deal with her.]
My father was in a nursing home for 2 years and I went to see him only a couple of times a week. because I lived hours away. He was always sleeping from the drugs that they were giving him, or waking up incoherant. He died a few hours after I had left him one day . I would never let anyone in my family to be put in a nursing home again as long as I'm alive..
2007-07-08 12:36:51 · answer #1 · answered by goalaska 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she cant talk to you doesnt mean that you cant talk to her. Just talk to her about everyday stuff. It doesnt have to be important, but it is important for you to talk to her. Even a simple gesture like holding her hand or brushing her hair. Those are things you can do for her. Most likely she really doesnt want anything that you can give her, she's just speaking. But really you have to revert back the simplest needs. If she does want something its probably food, drink, or going to the bathroom. Hope this helps.
2007-07-08 11:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by Steff 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Continue to visit and talk to her. She hears you. Brush her hair, paint her fingernails. Talk, talk , talk. She can process everything you are saying even tho you might not understand her. YOu will feel better about yourself when she is gone. Don't put yourself in the position of thinking, "what if ......" Do it now while she in alive.
2007-07-08 11:57:36 · answer #3 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Visit her briefly. Tell her that you love her and will never stop visiting her. Tell her that you are sorry that you do not understand what she wants.
It is hard to know how much she understands but she can tell that you love her and are there for her.
2007-07-08 11:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋