I was dating a guy for over a year. He really liked my kids and wanted to make them a part of us as it should be. He has kids also, who knew my kids already (they didn't hook us up). But my kids do not like this guy. He has never hurt them in anyway and they saw how happy we were together but the kids just didn't get a good vibe and there was too much tension so I broke it off with him.
2007-07-08 11:08:28 · 17 answers · asked by Awesome mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My mom dated someone I didn't like and she ended up marrying him. He was alright until he moved in and controlled everything. I'll never forgive her for marrying him, but I know that she's happy and I love her so I try as hard as I can to be nice to my step dad even though we fight all the time.
Good luck.
2007-07-08 11:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I feel really bad for your kids. You should be married if you are going to co-habitate in the first place. I understand about keeping things in order though. Structure and order is a good thing. You also need to think about how this relationship with the boyfriend is hurting your kids. He can come and go, but your kids are your kids, and their needs come first over the live in. After all, you are shacking up together.
2007-07-08 11:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by Flavio F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing - your first responsibility is to the kids.
However, if you and he are both still interested, then sit down with the kids and talk to them. They may just be worried that your attention will be diverted away from them. Maybe they're scared of change. Whatever it is, it is likely that it can be worked through ... especially if you and your kids have a good relationship already.
Good luck!
2007-07-08 11:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by devyl gyrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
normally i would agree with you and say you should've broke it off just because your kids are more important. but this guy seems like a geniunely nice guy. your kids are probably still sad that their real dad isn't there, and sometimes it takes a real long time to get over that, so you shouldn't expect your kids to like some guy that they don't want to get to know in the first place. in this case i say you should continue your relationship with him because he wants what is best for your kids. before you get any more serious with this guy make sure he is making an attempt to reach out to your kids, and you should do the same to his. tell your kids what you like about him (personality wise) and try to make them understand. if they don't then i agree...you should break it off...good luck with that.
2007-07-08 11:18:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't date someone your kids don't like! How would you like it if when you were a kid one of your parents was dating someone you didn't like? Your kids are most important. You decided to be a mom so you need to keep harmony in your home. What you do after they've left home and are on their own is your own business. Until then, don't be having relationships with men they don't like. It's NOT worth it. This time is a special time in your life. Focus on your children because before you know it you'll be all alone in that house of yours and sitting there regretting you didn't listen to me! Been there, done that!
2007-07-08 11:13:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's because they feel threatened by him, I don't mean like he's going to hurt them, I mean as in they are used to having mum all to themselves, they see him as a threat as he'll take some of the time you spend with them away, I think maybe you should still see this guy as he sounds like a decent bloke (a dying breed) and you both sit the kids down and explain to them that mum needs to be happy etc and he isn't trying to take you from them etc, if there in genuinely no reason why they should dislike him then stick to your guns, if you let them break up this relationship because they feel mixed up they will continue to do it with all of your boyfriends, sounds like they just need some reasurance.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-07-08 11:15:43 · answer #6 · answered by ~Fatally~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is almost easy beacuase you know that your kids come first and there is obvioulsy a reason why your kids don't like him and whether or not you can see it.....they see something that isn't right. I know it might be hard because you like this man but you always have the love of your kids and knowing that they are happy...priceless!!
Good Luck!
2007-07-08 11:12:39 · answer #7 · answered by vbchik777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids may not like anyone, so don't base your relationships entirely on the kids. Don't ignore their feelings, but if they don't have any specific complaints, they may just be jealous. Or they may resent him "replacing" their father. You should discuss it with your kids, and see how they feel about you dating in general.
2007-07-08 11:13:31 · answer #8 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking about it with ur kids to see if it's something specific about this guy or just you dating someone?
2007-07-08 11:11:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't, you did the right thing. Kids don't always have good reasons but as their mom, you owe them all you can do. Remember they are supposed to come before you.
2007-07-08 11:11:13 · answer #10 · answered by DrDebate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋