My husband wants to checkout many women. Is this normal?

Question

without sounding conceited, we are a good looking couple. Neither one of us would have a problem meeting other people if we were single, but we are not. His glancing at other women has bothered me and I've sat and talked to him about it in a calm voice. He says I see things that are not there and that it's normal to look around. I think what bothers me the most is when he makes eye contact with these women and seconds later the women look over at me feeling ashamed. I don't like feeling like "the idiot." I've talked to him about this and he's improved, a little. It's getting to the point where I do not look forward to going out. He even tries the "eye" thing with family friends and that's weird. I don't know how else to go about fixing this because I've tried talking. Now, I don't say anything and just keep the hurt inside because we just found out I'm pregnant and I don't want to get into discussions. I'm a size 4, I dress up for him all of the time. what more do I do?

Answer 1

I don't think it has anything to do with you dressing up for hi or anything like that, he obviously loves you being he married you. I know whare you are comming from, my x was just like that. I think its totally disrespectful and it makes him look like a pig to other women. I would tell my x that I didn't care if he looked when he was with his friends etc. but whaen you are out with me, it is rude, insulting and disrespectful, your attention should be on me when we are out together.
It continued and he would deny it, it started to make me feel bad and broke my selfesteem because then he would always say that he wasn't looking, but he got to the point to where I could walk in somewhere and know exactly who he'd be looking at, and sure enough, he was, so it made me paranoid and turn into a jealous insecure person. Sure its human nature to look but if he can't control himself when he's with you it is wrong and disrespectful. It is them trying to stroke their ego, not about them wanting to replace you with the next best thing, it is their ego and the dog in them. I don't know what to tell you other then don't tolorate it, especially pregnant, this is a time when you are absolutely the most beautife, and if he is oogling everyone else he is going to make you feel horrible. You are carrying his child, the biggest gift in the world a women can give a man, he doesn't need to be looking at others at all during this time. It is a beautiful time but it is emotionally hard because womens bodies go through so many changes, he needs to be very supportive and make you feel like you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. You need to talk to him again, and tell him you won't tolorate it and he needs to learn to control himself better or it will damage your relationship . Good luck to you and a healthy beautiful pregnancy

Answer 2

I Wouldn't Worry. You Sound Beautiful By Your Quick Description. I Think Its Normal For A Man To Look At Other Women. Its Just SomeThing We All Have To Grow Out Of And Realize That "Hey Were Married We Don't Need Some Other Woman" Just Give It Time And SHow Him Devotion And Everything That Made Him Want To Marry You And He Won't Go Astray.

Answer 3

This is NOT normal. If he's good looking he probably just misses playing the field and meeting other women. That's good that he's improving but it's not enough. Tell him that what he's doing is not attracting women and in fact it's turning them off. Also tell him that he's going to be a dad now so he needs to start acting mature and that he's being immature by eyeing other women. He's in a committed relationship and whether or not he's doing anything is not the point. The point is, is that if can't find it in himself to stop then he doesn't care about you the way he should. Just keep talking to him calmly and try to make him a little jealous. It's not you he doesn't love, it's his old self

Answer 4

There isn't much you can do about this. It's natural guy behavior...Sad, but true. I had issues with my boyfriend doing this for the longest time, and I really think they can only help it to an extent. Guys are much more visual creatures than women, and it's practically programmed in their DNA to glance at an attractive woman, even if he's got a supermodel girlfriend standing next to him. It isn't you honey...no doubt he thinks you're gorgeous and loves you to death. Men go by the "look but don't touch" motto...he may be "checking out" other women, but rest assured he loves YOU and thinks YOU are the most beautiful woman...not to mention he'll be going home with YOU tonight.

If you really want to confront him about how it makes you feel, act calmly, rationally, and don't get overworked about it. I'm sure you look at attractive men once in a while too, don't you? Maybe you can make a fun, harmless game of it...point out a girl, ask him if he thinks she's cute. Have him do the same...if you can't change his ways, join him. If he's okay with you looking but not touching, chances are you'll learn to accept his occasional wandering eye.

Answer 5

Since you have already advise him that its bothering you, and nothing is being done, maybe you should have a family member to confront him the moment he does it, and then he will realize that its not just bothering you but other people as well. And it seems you might have a few issues yourself, you didn't have to mention you were a size 4, but you did and that you dress up for him. Girlfriend what are you going to do when you are not a size 4 when you are 8mos pregnant. Last but not least you should dress up for yourself make you happy before please anyone else. Good Luck.

Answer 6

My opinion is that if he truely loved you he wouldn't have a wandering eye. Especially since you have expressed how it makes you feel. That is total disrespect to you. If this is the type of person he is you will not be able to change it. Either accept it or move on. Some would say you could play his game and do the same, look at other men. You must be a young couple. I wish you the best! For those who say, 'thats just a man', bull$#!%. It's not!

Answer 7

You are too concerned with looks. It's what's INSIDE your heart and mind that really counts for both of you. You won't be a size 4 much longer, sweetie, if you are pregnant. Will he still love you anyway. I sure hope so because he should love you all the more for having his child. Let him "look" at other women. As long as he doesn't touch, who cares? Be a grown up now. You are going to be a mommy. Congratulations!

Answer 8

This is soooo not your fault. I hope this pregnancy empowers you enough to know who you are and appreciate yourself, because if he can't, then you never really needed him. I hate hearing women say what can i do to get him to...stay, change, or love me. If you have tried speaking with him, sharing your thoughts with him and apparently you've gone so far as to do things that make you feel ashamed.. you've done enough you can do no more. If he can't change then you need to make the change for both of you. Especially now that you are pregnant you must ask yourself. Do I want my child to be that inconsiderate of his love ones feelings? or Do I want my child to be raised with the idea that men are more improtant than she is?

Answer 9

It's fairly normal to look. As long as he's not staring intently, or takes it any further than looking I don't think you need to worry. But don't bottle up your hurt either. Let him know it bothers you. Joke with him when you catch him at it, so he is aware that you notice. Start checking out guys, see how he likes it. But remember, in the end he's going home with you.

Answer 10

All men look at lots of women, but if him making eye contact with them makes you uncomfortable, you should explain your feelings and ask him to at least leave out the "meeting with the eyes" thing. If he's a man who cares about your feelings he'll knock it off, if he doesn't then you two should try counseling.