unwed expecting mom...very sad...?

Question

My boyfriend of 2 years and I can not communicate, we have been in counseling for the last 4 months to work things out and keep this relationship. He knows how I feel about being unwed and realizes he hasn't fully committed.. I'm expecting this month and I've been so down mentally being an unwed mom. My new role is to stay home and raise my child, cook for everyone, clean, and find a child or two to watch to pay my bills. I am starting to fight this stay at home situation lately as I feel why am I committing to a man who will not marry me but wants me to be here for him. He has a mortgage but he has to pay that if I'm here or not. He does try and provide here and there, I just don't want to be here and be this stay at home mother/girlfriend and not get anywhere with it. Why force someone to marry? My dream is to be find a man and be loved unconditionally, a man who truly wants to marry me. I'm just at a lost for words...I feel like giving up.

When we fight I get him mad enough to want to break things in the house. We had this old chair and stool, which would have been wonderful and I looked forward to breastfeeding with it,...now it's broken.

Answer 1

you need to do what is best for you and your baby. If you don't feel like you are being loved and care for the way you always dream of then it's probably not the right person for you. If you could move in with a trust family member or friend that you know wont let you down, then go with them (the sooner the better). Trust me after this child comes you are going to see a side of this man that you never knew existed. You want to be in a sable environment, that what is best for you and the baby. I know how hard it is to be a single mom. I had my first son alone, I wasn't with the man who got me pregnant,and close guy friends of ours would ask me to marry them. I stuck to my guns, because I knew that I only wanted to get married once and to a man that adored me. I never gave up on that possibility and four years later I meant my now husband. I can tell you there is nothing better in life then being truly loved by some one, he knows my like no one else on the face of this earth. I look back and I am proud that I didn't settle for some one less than what I wanted. Don't give up sweetie love is out there waiting for you and his path to meet. Take care , I hope you feel better and congratulations. Don't let this man and his problems take away from the excitement and love a baby brings

Answer 2

If you're breaking things in frustration it's time to move on. Either force the issue and find out why he won't marry you, or simply leave him. From the way you described "his" mortgage, and "your" bills, it doesn't sound like you're even living with him. So you've been dating for 2 years, 4 months of counselling and no commitment, and separate housing. He's got what he wants, your body when he's in the mood. So why should he commit? You need to move forward, either with him, or without him.

Answer 3

You don't stay home with a child to "get somewhere". You do it if you think it is the best thing for your baby.
I think you committed to him when you slept with him, and you probably should have thought about the whole "unwed mom" thing before you got pregnant.
However, being an unwed mom does not mean that you are not a good mom so concentrate on that. If you don't want to be with him then move out on your own (yes you may not be able to stay home), and have your own life. You can't sit around waiting for love to happen to you, you have to have your own life and then go looking for someone to be a part of it.