I've been with my boyfriend for three years, when we first started going out I was completely in love with him. I pressured him to move in with me after only six months of dating, and now things are fizzling out, he owes me an insane amount of money and refuses to pay for anything, because he blames my forcing him to move in with me for all his financial problems(when I met him he was 27 years old and still living with his parents) He's been calling me really cruel names for awhile and this morning he shoved me really hard. Should I just forget the money and end this? Is it all my fault for pressuring him to move in with me?
2007-07-08 02:37:03 · 13 answers · asked by Britna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A shove is where it starts. Yes. Forget the money. Get away from him. You'll be much better off alone and free to meet someone worth knowing!
Oh.... and no- it's not your fault! If he was living with mommy, now he's just replaced her with you! GET OUT NOW!
2007-07-08 02:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by crankyissues 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When he start with the cruel name calling, that is when the physical abuse come in shortly after. Even if was pressured, he was still 27 years old. By now he should know the differences between right and wrong. I don't think love as any thing to do with it any more. The money that you have gave him is gone, just leave the guy or kick him out. No man should lay his hand on a woman upon anger. This sounds like that you better off before you met him. You need to get a hold of yourself and stop letting him make your mind up for you. And by the way, it sounds like that he has problem with spending money, a lot of it.
2007-07-08 10:05:04 · answer #2 · answered by partyof54u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should end this first. Then see a lawyer about recovering the money. It might be easier to recover some of it than you think. But don't try and do this while in the relationship.
Also, he is being abusive. That will increase over time... it always does. Eventually it can become dangerous. Get out ASAP.
And no, it is not your fault. He made the decision to move in with you or he wouldn't have done it, no matter how much pressure you put on him. Unless he is a total wimp, but if he is, he wouldn't be abusing you.
2007-07-08 09:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I am so sorry, I am not going to say that it is all your fault, if you asked him to move in with you, then it was his choice to do so, do not blame this all on yourself, It was his choice to move in with you and he did.
He had the choice to say no, which he did not, he is being unfair in blaming everything on you, it takes two to tango, so it is both your fault, I am sorry if I sound harsh.
If he is unhappy and making your relationship hard, and you both are unhappy, then maby you should have a heart to heart with him, and ask him if he would feel better continuing the relationship if he moved out and got a place on his own, or if you guys should just stop seeing eachother.
He has a lot on his mind and he is not happy, I would suggest having a talk with him, and if getting out of the relationship is what he wants, and to live someplace else, then I would let him go and make you both happy.
I think you both learned that pressuring in a realtionship is not good.
2007-07-08 09:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget the money and him. It is time for him to go some place else. You will never see that money again I am willing to bet. You should count your losses and consider it a hard lesson that you learned. If he pushed you hard, you really need to go and I would say now. You do not want this to escalate beyond what it already has. I am sorry. It's time to get rid of him and his issues and move on with a new better life.
2007-07-08 09:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you still with him for him to pay you back?
because if you're not, you shouldnt be with this guy at all, and these are my reasons.
1. he didnt want to move in with you
2. he is blaming you for his lack of $$
3. he shoved you and called you names
4. this guy is feeding off of you, and wont pay you back!
5. it doesnt sound like there has been any apologizing on either of you guys's parts, which happens in a healthy relationship.
if you/ when you break up, make sure you have some kind of agreement WRITTEN down for him to pay you back, and KEEP IT SAFE!!! because if he doesn't pay you back, which he should, then you can show your lawyer or someone who will help you get back your money in a safe and legal way.
2007-07-08 09:45:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take it to court and get your money especially if he shoved you that is wrong... he shouldnt get away with what he has done... he sounds lyk a user to me..
but if u prefer not doing all this court business and you already no that he aint gonna pay up then jus end things without a fuss... you dont need someone like this in your life..
2007-07-08 09:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick his **** to the curb. As for your money, you should probably kiss it goodbye and put the whole experience down as a life-lesson. Next time you're in a relationship you should take it a bit slower and really get to know the guy before you take things to the next level. But don't be too hard on yourself. If we didn't make mistakes then we would never learn.
2007-07-08 09:43:05 · answer #8 · answered by Danni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would say forget about the money and just leave. that's only if you don't want to end up in court.you kinda did the right thing letting him move in with you. if you feel that the abuse is too much dump the freeloader. no actually women shouldn't be abused so if i were you i would dump him in less than a millisecond.
2007-07-08 09:51:08 · answer #9 · answered by locdown120 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shoved you this morning??!! How dare he! Especially after all that you've done for him! Sweet heart.. he was 27 and still living with his parents? Didn't that warn you of his financial irresponsibility?
Bottom line... yes leave him. No it wasn't your fault for pressurizing him to move in with you..It was very sweet of you to offer that to him.
2007-07-08 09:46:38 · answer #10 · answered by anonymous 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋