Atheists, what sinful acts do you have planned for today?

Question

I think I'm gonna sleep with the neighbour's wife, punch my mother in the face then head of to work for a few hours after robbing the first person I see. What do you have planned?

Answer 1

Oh you know, have a couple of abortions, drown some kittens and then perhaps a spot of homicide.

Answer 2

I think you're on track with the commandments, but you're limiting yourself. You can violate biblical law in simpler ways as well and not even risk going to jail. All you have to do is associate with a menstruating woman (Leviticus 15:19-30; Ezekiel 18:5-6), eat an oyster (Leviticus 11:10), attend church if your penis or testicles are damaged (Deuteronomy 23:1), attend church if your ancestors were unmarried in any of the previous 10 generations (Deuteronomy 23:2), or bring a homosexual or prostitute into church (Deuteronomy 23:17-18).

Answer 3

Take a shower, brush my teeth, put on some clothes.
Get a couple sausage egg and cheese croissandwitches from BK.
Go visit my dad on the last full day of my vacation, if I can catch him.

Probably jerk off at some point after I get home. That'll involve some lust-full thoughts, rather boring day from a sin-fullness perspective I suppose. Although if I'm sleepy I might just go to bed without instead.

Answer 4

I realize that you're being sarcastic, but truly, how do you think this makes you look?

I am a Christian, and when I saw the question, I clicked on this, ready to DEFEND atheists.
Imagine my surprise when I saw that it was just a joke intended to make fun of those misinformed Christians who don't know that some of you are really cool.

I guess the joke's on me.
Hope you got some great laughs.

Answer 5

Well I was thinking of going to the supermarket and running up people's Achilles tendons with the big shopping cart and running over little kids' toes. Then maybe take my groceries outside and roll the cart into somebody's car door and then run. (With my groceries, of course).

I might strangle the neighbour's cat or give the finger to a couple of people. I might go down to the most popular tourist spots and offer to take a picture of tourists who are taking pictures of each other but can't take one of themselves together. Then when they give me their camera and I tell them to say cheese ... I'll run away. I only steal the expensive digitals. I don't do it for people who only have a disposable, plastic 35mm piece of crap.

Finally, I'll come home and get drunk and sing hymns while making up my own funnier words.

Cowabunga dudes!
LOL
.

Answer 6

Grocery Shopping
A bit of housework
Logging into the work server and doing some work.
A bit of working on my family tree

the usual...

Answer 7

ha ha, hee hee ho ho!
If you have time, you should also....
push a liitle old lady down in the street.
Set a church on fire!
Put some garbage in a few mailboxes.
Let the air out of your neighbors tires and key their cars!
Rob old peoples SS checks.
It sounds like you have a good and exciting day planned for yourself! Have fun! ;~)

Answer 8

Well, I had to work on a Sunday, so that's already a death sentence for me, according to the Bible. Otherwise, I think I'll go home and read a book.

I promise it will be a very evil book.

Answer 9

I did consider either attempting world domination followed by genocide, or maybe creating a little hide out somewhere with a few hundred followers and getting them to commit suicide for me. But after a little while I thought again, because the christians have already done them.

Answer 10

Even though I'm not Atheist or religious I'm just getting in from an all night drunk. Now I'm going to sleep it off, good nite.

Answer 11

my mother was an atheist and so are my brothers and my sister (I am not) and none of them have ever punched anyone in the face or robbed anyone or slept around
they are actually all very fine, productive, loving and beloved people who behave themselves because they want to and not because they are afraid they might go to hell if they don't