How to explain death to a 3 1/2 year old if he asks questions?

Question

He is my grandson and his great great grandfather passed away. He knows about weddings, birthday parties. His parents were married last year and at that time he thought it was a birthday party for him. Then this year his aunt got married and he says I do not want to get married.or dance. Now he sees and hears people talking and about pictures of his great great and he is thinking another wedding???What do you say because he is so young and not really understanding any of this but might have questions??? I know to keep it simple so what are some good ways to do it??

Answer 1

Tell the truth, and use absolutely no metaphors. Don't say he's sleeping, because that might cause the boy to fear going to sleep. Tell him that "grandpa" died, which means his body stopped working, and his soul has gone to Heaven to live and wait for us to join him someday.

Let him ask the questions, you'll probably be suprised at the questions running through his mind ... they seem so trivial, but need to be answered. Mine ask questions like "does it hurt to die?", and "do they have dishwashers in Heaven?" or "what if grandpa falls through a cloud?". Answer each as if it were a matter of great importance, for it is to the child.

Also, just a quick point to avoid confusion for the child, most kids at that age still do not understand contractions. Don't say "don't" or "won't" or "can't", they hear "do" and "will" and "can". Instead say do not, can not, will not. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Weddings are simple, when two people love each other they want to be together and this is a party to celebrate that. Death is another story. If the child is asking questions about death itself, then simple answers such as when someone gets old and are tired they go to sleep forever, or if you are religious you can talk about going to heaven. If its about a particular person you can use the same thing if they are old, or if they are young you can just say that they were done with what they had to do here on earth. As you say, simple answers and don't project your feelings onto the child.

Answer 3

Tell him that his great great grandfather is gone and is never coming back. That that means he is dead. He doesn't exist anymore. It's sad.

Of course, the kid might not really understand that. I remember when my grandfather died and brother was very young. My parents bought her a book about death. It's for kids, it had some colouring pages and things. Helped explain it. You should be able to find something like that in a book store. If you're Christian, it might be very easy to find it in a Christian book store.

Answer 4

Death is such a hard thing to explain to children. I would get some books and look for different ways to tell children about death depending on your beliefs. You need to tell him before you go and talk about death. I started with bugs. Not killing them, just if we saw a dead one i explained that the bug was dead and went to heaven. Dont use the word "sick", hospital, or "the doctors couldnt help the dog' that could make him scared when he is sick and has to go to the doctors. I think i said, it is so sad but everyone or everything doesnt live forever, when we do die we go to heaven. we can remember what fun we had with.... and know they are in a safe place. but we wont be able to see them any more, just think about them and how happy we are that they are in a safe place. but it is ok to be sad and miss them. I do think now is a great time to discuss the issue with your son so he gets the idea. But if you arent ready. When my parents had to put our dog down when i was little, they told me he went to a farm with lots of other dogs so he can run and be happy and be with his mother and father. Not the greatest idea but it can give you more time if you need it. It is nice to keep them from the subject as long as possible. i hate when my kiddies are sad.

Answer 5

Just be like, well this is not a weeding. There will be no dancing. Your great great grandfather is in a better place now and isnt here with us anymore. We will be saying good bye to him for the last time. It is a sad time and a time to say good bye to him

Answer 6

Personally I would tell him that his grand grand grandpa passed away because he was very old! I wouldn't mention any details..NO DETAILS! and if he asked me "When I grow up will I pass away too?"(personal experience trust me!) I would say no,of course not! And that's it,stop the conversation right there!He is too young to know more details because he might have psycological problem if you tell him everything!When he becomes 7 or 8 then u can tell him more things about death..

Answer 7

Hmm.. well my brother was 4 when my grandmother passed away.. I'm not sure about your religion or background, but we told him grandma was in heaven with the angels. Sometimes it also helps if you had a pet or something that died so children can relate the things together. for instance, my brother says " grandma is in heaven, where Harley (our dog) is". Hope that helps sweetie and sorry for the lost!

Answer 8

Whatever you do please don't dress the death up in fantasy. Don't say great great grandad has gone fishing or something. Tell them the truth. Be there when they need you of course but please don't disguise the incident. Involve them when you cry also, it sure helps little kids to know they are exhibiting an OK emotion.

I'm also sorry about his passing for you.

Answer 9

Great great granddad was here before all of us ,now its his time to go.
he has finished his time here so he is off to open the door for us to a new place that one day we will all go to.
It is called heaven and when you have spent your time here on earth
he will be there for you see again.

Answer 10

tell him that when when someone gets hurt very bad or gets very old (help him understand great grandfathers death) that there bodies feel that they should stop and go to a better place.