OK so my ex gf of almost 4 years dumped me 4 weeks ago but got a new bf not even 2 weeks after the break up. She tells me she still loves me and the reason y we broke up is because she feels that we're more of best friends then bf/gf. ( I get a feeling that he was in the picture b4 we broke up but she says no) I’m 19 and she’s 18. I no we’re young but she was the center of my life and i love her so much.... I know i have to get over her but its so hard any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. She's was always calling me ( I told her to stop) and she always wants to hang out and she said that thing should stay the same just with out the physical part( I don’t think this is fair to me)...does she want her cake and eat it to? am i just a back up if her new relationship fails? Its been 4 weeks and i CANT get her out of my head.
3 days ago she sent me this message “Do u hate me now? Like r we friends? Msg me from da comp! Plz…. Is it bye have a good life or u Just cant talk 4 now. Msg bac plz”
And she sent me this message ( on face book)yesterday morning at 3:20 am. -wat u been up 2? r we still not talkin or wat.. i thought u said taht nuthing could get in between our friendship? well msg me back plz! ill try to go on here 2morrow after or b4 work ttyl miss talkin 2 u bye :)
Also yesterday I went to her house b/c her brother and cousin are some of my best buddies. And she asked me “WHY don’t you want to talk to me?(she was almost going to cry) Are we ever going to talk again? WHY…WHY..WHY…!
So I told her that that’s what I wanted and she should respect that…..she was really upset(sad).
Why does she still message me? Do you think she wants me back or is just feeling guilty about the way she did things? I asked her to stop and its only been like 5 days that we haven’t talked and already 4 messages. What’s your advice?
THANK YOU
( I no its long but I REALLY APPRECIATE YOR HELP!!)
2007-07-07 19:17:22 · 13 answers · asked by Nanonan m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dude, its just like you said. She wants her cake and to eat it too. My ex did the exact same thing. They want both things. They want the relationship without the physical (Which is totally unfair to you) and you are a good backup if they ever need you. She is going to be upset by it, and if you still care about her then its going to hurt you too. But your gonna have to stick to your guns. In the end its the best thing you can do for yourself. Trust me.
2007-07-07 19:25:46 · answer #1 · answered by jwilkes99999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that if she doesnt want a relationship with you fully, then she will have to let things lie for a while, you are not able to get over her with her doing this to you and tell her that.
I bet she wasnt so sure of what she was doing when she did break up with you, you cannot be with someone for four years and not love them. If it makes her sad not to talk to you, then she will just have to realise it makes you said to talk to her atm.
Dont pretend she doesnt exist, just take the time that you didnt have in the last four years to make your life what you want it to be, 19 is very young to be in a forever type or relationship. You can miss out on alot of things that you should experience at this age. Enjoy life for a while being single and see how the status between you is then.
Good luck
2007-07-07 19:25:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry your going threw this Im 30 and the only advice I have for you is go live your life and if its meant to be.... you'll know im a woman and I have to tell you we sometimes think the grass is greener on the other side than we realize its not she had that dude b4 she left you cuz ya dont get outta 1 realtionship n jump into the rest... She sounds like she f**** up and wants you to make her feel less quilty by accepting her anyways good luck but change your # you'll forgot about after you hook up with the next chick.
2007-07-07 19:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jaime Kay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok dude I never answer from this catagory but here it is in black and white.
She wants her cake and eat it and is being selfish. She probably wants to test the waters and see what else is on the menu. She has problems letting you go but does not give a damn about how yo are feeling. Burn her *** and go get yourself another girl friend.
Good luck amigo and it probably won"t be the last time this will happen to you.
It gets easier.
2007-07-07 19:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by spils 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think you are right that she wants you as a backup if the new relationship doesn't work out. If you feel like being nice to her (notice I said IF) just tell her you need some space and time. Personally, I would be pretty pissed off if a girlfriend did that to me.
2007-07-07 19:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by z_o_r_r_o 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants a relationship based on her terms only without regard to your feelings. Ignore her messages and calls. Next time you see her in person, tell her you have no interest in stroking her ego. If she wants to feel like a good person, she'll have to work on ways to do that which don't involve using you. She hurt you and needs to accept the consequences of that rejection. Namely, the loss of a friend and lover. She can only have it both ways if you let her. Don't.
2007-07-07 19:24:34 · answer #6 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok dude ask her that .confront her with your question ask her if your just a backup guy ask her if this guy was in the picture before you guys broke up because it sounds like if you dont do something it might get in the way of your friend ship with your buddies well hey hop i can help if you need anyother help just e mail me i may be younger than you buy i help my friends out with stuff like this all the time lol oh look now mines long
2007-07-07 19:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by the JGG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are the hardest things we do. So begin with your relationship with yourself. If you can truly like, love, respect and accept yourself, then you can get along with anyone...and anyone can get along with you. There are no guarantees about how people feel, or that feelings won't change. But you can make the guarantee to yourself that you will always love and respect yourself. If you can live comfortably with yourself, then your relationships will become different...and you will find others are strongly attracted to you because you are comfortable with yourself, and that will give them a feeling fo security.
2007-07-07 19:27:22 · answer #8 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a really sad story... and im sorry for what you're going through...
i think that it's gonna be really hard for you to get over her if you keep seeing her and she keeps messaging you. if you want to get over her, i suggest not seeing her or talking to her for a good long while. you should tell her to stop and all. say something like "why do you keep messaging me if YOU were the one who told me it was over between us? i still love you, but i need some time to myself right now, so could you just respect me and give me some time? plus, you've already replaced me with another guy"
if you want her to stop messaging you, and you've already asked her to stop, but she wont, just keep ignoring her messages. if you want to keep hanging out with your friends, but not see her, tell your friends that they should come over to your house without her.
that's just what i think.
2007-07-07 19:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by baby bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she realized that you weren't like a boyfriend more like a brother or best friend and she really wants to be friends again, but if she starts flirting with you or doing anything that invokes sexual purposes, then you're jsut the rebound guy. i've been through this with a girlfriend before (yes i'm a girl, i'm bi) and trust me, i was just the rebound girl.
good luck!
2007-07-07 19:25:12 · answer #10 · answered by Lil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋