Do I use "first of all" correctly in the first paragraph?

Question

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Dear Ms. Eileen,

Referring to Mr. Andy’s letter dated 28th June 2007 inviting me to be a resourceperson on the topic “energy security", first of all, I would like to say thank you for that invitation.

Then, I hereby confirm my availability and participation to give the perspective and outlook of Our organization regarding the issue. Please consider this as my formal acceptance of his invitation and my full participation in the conference.

Answer 1

Technically it is correct but I wouldn't recommend using it. Try this.

REGARDING Mr. Andy's letter dated..... on the topic "energy security", I would like to say that I appreciate the invitation.

I hereby confirm my availability... in the conference.

It's written very well. I suggest replace Referring with regarding, and taking out the "first of all" and the "Then". Your version is correct, it just sounds better this way.

Answer 2

This will make the letter sound more formal.

Dear Ms. __________, (surname)

Greetings!

First and foremost, I would like to thank you for your letter dated 28th of June, 2007. In respect to that, I would like to confirm my attendance and acceptance in being a resource person/speaker in your conference about energy security scheduled for the _______of ____2007. (Date of conference)

Likewise, the said conference would also be a good opportunity for me to acquaint the conference's participants with our organization's position and outlook in respect to energy security.

Sincerely Yours,

Answer 3

Correction: "Did I use..."

And no, you did not. The phrase, "first of all" must go directly at the beginning of the first paragraph or at the beginning of the next paragraph. In fact, there isn't the need for the phrase because you did not include of list of anything. Omit and just have the sentence, "I would like..."

Also, delete "Then" from the beginning of your second paragraph. You can start the sentence with, "I hereby confirm..."

Answer 4

Not good.

You said 'first of all' and then didn't include a long list.

Much better to stop at 'first' because it sounds more crisp and professional, and not as if you're setting the poor reader up for a litany of drivel, with 'second of all' and 'third of all' ad nauseum to follow.

Answer 5

i'm pretty sure that you should take out ,first of all, and put a semicolin in its place