I'm 19, and I've been engaged for over six months. Before I met my fiance, my parents wanted me to live at home until I finish college. Then when I got engaged, they wanted me to stay at home until I got married.
Well, I've been living with my fiance for a month. We had a family barbeque to introduce my family to his family. My fiance's step grandma is outgoing and jokingly said to him, "You're not getting married for a year...Can you go an entire year without sex?"
My mom knows that I'm not a virgin. And she probably assumes that my fiance and I are having sex. But she wasn't a virgin when she got married either.
Well, my mom said, "I don't know why they bother getting married" (I was not in the room). My fiance's parents were in shock and just looked at each other. (His mom told me about it later.)
My fiance thinks that she said more than that, like something along the lines of 'they live together, why bother getting married?' Why would anyone have that point of view?
2007-07-07 18:52:16 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
there are a bunch of reasons....think about it! there is sex, living together, sharing lives....the only other thing is a piece of paper!
i lived with my hubby for 7 or so years before marriage. the reason older women view things as such is because in their day and before, men married women to live with them and for sex, but if they get that now, whats the point??
i disagree with these old bags, marriage is a sacred bond given by God(who, by the way, views you as a couple already if you are both committed to each other. please ignore old lady remarks, because you will get at least 3, 000 before you die. Nod politely and agree. its all you can do
2007-07-07 19:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by taryn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys have that point of view a lot. If you can live together, why should you get married? It's just unusual for your mother to be the one to say it.
Actually, why live together when you are going to get married? What's the hurry when you have a lifetime together ahead of you? That's a more reasonable question. For a woman, living at home, someone else is in charge of the household and paying the bills and there's a certain sense of security. When you get married, you step into that role - why jump the gun and live with the guy? Living at home is 'being pampered' compared to doing dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. for a boyfriend/fiancee.
2007-07-07 19:14:10 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your mom is obviously hurt that you are so called living in sin. I imagine that she dreamed for years of having a nice wedding for you some day and reality hasn't matched up with her fantasy. I certainly can relate to that as my son did the same. It is very disappointing. I trust you'll try to put yourself in your mother's shoes. I think you burst her bubble. It will be the one day she will never have because she probably hoped you'd be a virgin and you'd have a traditional ceremony to match. If I am right. Maybe she's embarrassed that you're living in sin and she's basically saying she didn't approve of this idea of living together. Ask her.
2007-07-07 18:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by detour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since you and your fiance have decided to start your life's together by live'n together someone could figure that you two are already doing stuff that married people do and that would kinda in a way make wedding just a big family get together take away from the sanctity of a truely tradional marriage
2007-07-07 19:07:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As people grow older, they tend to "forget" how things were and the good 'ol days of yester-years.... I would just pass it up as early senilty of the older people who refuse to remember.
Sorry, that wasn't the most tactile thing for someone in the family to say, especially when it could be heard by everyone.
You do, what makes you and your fiance happy.
Good luck, and glad to hear that you will be getting married soon :)
BTW, those who disagree with me, let me ask you if you never slept with your fiance before marriage.... come on guys...
2007-07-07 18:57:47 · answer #5 · answered by Time4Tivo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because you should not be living together if you are not married and you should not have sex until your wedding night. You are committing fornication and you should move out and obstain from having sex until you are married.
2007-07-07 18:56:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It has sometimes been said "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free....."
2007-07-07 18:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by Nicktacular 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you shouldnt be living together or sleeping with a guy before your married...
2007-07-07 18:55:12 · answer #8 · answered by stevethebeeve 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋