christians, i have a question?

Question

So, my friends mom died like 4-5 years ago. And then his best friend died 2 years ago. He has a very hard time accepting it, and blames himself and God for it. Before his mom died, he went to church and knew the bible from front to back. Now he doesn't even read it. He also never like to talk about how he feels. What are some passages i should have him read in the bible?? Thanks

btw he is 17

Answer 1

The most loving thing you can do is pray for him.

Answer 2

Bible passages may not be the best thing for him right now. Was his mom a believer? If so, he can be sure that she is in paradise with her Lord. For the believer, death is not the end, but a wonderful new beginning. He certainly knows that. God wants the best for him and Loves him so very much. Why does he blame himself? Check Jeremiah 29:11 for a verse about what God has for him. Maybe that will help.

Answer 3

Tell him to read the book of Job. He lost his wife, sons, daughters and cattle... yet never blamed God even though his friends kept tempting him and pushing him... he remained faithful to God and God remained faithful to him.

Isaiah 40 is good as well. Isaiah 40:27 - 31 says:

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Answer 4

If he is already mad at God about this the bible will only reinforce his anger, not fix it. He needs time to grieve and to talk to someone (a counselor or therapist). If he was very attached to the church before this then he may return to it, but right now quoting the bible at him will only push him further away.

Answer 5

well this wont help but tell him not to blame anyone especially God and himself things like this happen and its not easy to get over it but soon the pain may faint ofcourse memory will stay its not right to blame God God may turn from him tell him to pray and things will go better just because his mom died and friend well it happens and he just has to live it

Answer 6

The whole book of Job is so helpful in situations like that one. It's so sad to hear what your friend is going through; I'll be praying that the Lord would work through you to reach him again. But yeah, definitely familiarize yourself with the book of Job before approaching him, and then maybe you two and a few other people could do a small-group, in-depth study on it? I'm sure there are lots of resources for studies on Job, either online or in Christian bookstores.

One of the hardest things to learn and accept in a relationship with God is that, "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

Best wishes in reaching your friend. It's tough, for sure.

Answer 7

Rev 14:13 And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.
Isa 57:1 The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come.

Answer 8

Acts 24:15 " and I have hope toward God, which hope these [men] themselves also entertain, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous."

Jmaes 1:13 " When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone"

Answer 9

This is pretty hard time for your friend. Please accompany him. Make sure you are God's channel for His love.

Do not preach him. Do help him and encourage him for positive things.

Then, you should know we should do this for a long time, as for a man in grief, it takes a longer time than to a woman.

One day, he would thank God that He exists through your true friendship as one way.

Answer 10

Each of us, are appointed to die once. That can't be changed. He is probably disappointed he himself was not prepared for their passings. May be he was at odds with them at that time? To blame himself is nobel, but to macho. And to blame God, is even worse. God can not bless him until he makes ammends with God. Your friend has put up a road block, that only he can take down.

Answer 11

I will have to get back to you on this because I don't know off hand. You know better than myself, but if his belief or 'faith' in God is objective in the way of feeling obligated or religious then when negative things happen to us, it typically isn't enough to sustain us. God wants to be life to us and His life is liberating from all different kinds of bonds that we feel and experience. But I will get back to ya, it's great you are wantin' to help by supplying the Word.