saying things like "My wife is so absorbed in life and complains all the time. " and "You're so lovable and sweet, I could eat you up...or lick you up." and even more graphic things. Flirting is one thing, but he tells me that he masterbates and thinks of me as his true wife! OMG!!!
I know he's lonely, and when he calls his actual wife he says she only rants and complains. I try to explain that she's lonely too, and she feels like she's got no help. I remind him that I complain and rant to my husband, but he says he could never believe that with how uplifting my notes are to him. He writes me almost everyday. She takes care of their child and his 3 older children.
How can I make him understand that I do not want to be part of the wedge that drives him and his wife apart, without canceling contact, as I think he would be devastated. I include Bible scripture in my notes to him and he loves hearing about my kids and their doings! He even tells me that he'd be a great dad to them!
2007-07-07 17:29:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Hello! They havea dad- my husband!
2007-07-07 17:30:41 · update #1
I don't write anything sexual to HIM. I only write about Hawai'i, my kids, and current events (not having to do with the war.)
So stop judging me! I'm asking for some advice, not your judgement. I wonder which ones have a husband in Iraq right now...hmmm?
2007-07-07 17:37:43 · update #2
I DO totally sympathize with his wife, I try to offer him the understanding of what she might be feeling that provokes her upset. (see above example!)
2007-07-07 17:43:15 · update #3
OMG, "uncle will" that's something I never thought about!
by the way, I share all the notes with my husband (so yes he knows) he even sees what I write. He's a Sgt. not a soldier (aren't those different ranks?)
2007-07-07 17:45:57 · update #4
you need to stop communicating with him yesterday.
he doesn't respect his marriage, his wife, you, your marriage, your husband, and your kids. he is thinking with his wrong head!!!!!! and if he wants to be with someone other than his wife..... let it not be you!!!!
2007-07-07 17:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by nomames 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that this story is legit and not the imagination of a military hating liberal, Cindy Shehan nit wit (she lost her son and for that I am sorry, but she is still a nut case).......you need to quit writing him now. Just drop it. If he hates his wife that much, he's gonna divorce her anyways. Don't let him be a wedge between you and your husband. I'm suprised your hubby hasn't told you the same. Does he know what this soldier boy is writing? Does he even know you're writing this guy. Break it off! Write one more letter saying your husband has taken a job in Cincinnati or somewhere far from where you're at and you'll write him back with the new address. If he's as whacked as you say, you don't want him coming to your house when he gets back state-side. Very dangerous.
2007-07-07 17:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by unclewill67 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. Why did he get the impression that there was some kind of sexual connection? Just stop making references to anything like that, and keep writing. Slowly reduce the number of letters you write. Maybe he will slowly get the picture.
Be boring, and stop any type of conversation that will make him think you are interested. Talk about your husband. Stay away from anything flirtatious. Tell him how you appreciate his sacrifice so that you can enjoy your family life.
Don't send any good pictures.
A lot of these guys are desperate for attention from a nice woman. Just make sure he knows you are a nice woman, and not someone looking to jump ship to be with him.
2007-07-07 17:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by Chef 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to stop communicating with this man. As long as you continue, he is going to believe he has a chance with you. Let's imagine for a minute that you discovered your husband having a communication affair with another woman, and that he was describing you as a complaint filled shrew. How do you think that would make you feel? Let's sympathize with his wife instead of worrying that you might hurt his feelings. He needs to stop sending you suggestive crap. How would you feel if your husband were to read some of the nonsense this guy is sending you. There are thousands of troops overseas who love their wives (husbands) and who would be happy to correspond with you on a civil level. Remember this, even though I know you're feeling flattered by the attention, if you were to become this guy's wife, you would become the woman he complains about to other women. Break it off and move on. You deserve better than a two timing gigolo wannabe.
2007-07-07 17:39:25 · answer #4 · answered by Ice 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't answer. It's the KISS principle. Keep it simple..
Occams razor. You're in over your head. But you still write to him. Maybe you are getting a thrill from it. If it were me and I write to ALOT of soldiers to support them, I ignore them that are completely sexual. So he must have ignited something in you to keep up with the correspondence.
You can't make him understand it.. Get it? NO matter what you write or hard you write it . he won't get it.
Let him go.. You'll be a better person for it.
2007-07-07 17:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by Milmom 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I guess that if you have a husband, why are you having these conversations with this guy? You want someone to talk dirty to you, have your husband do it. If you feel sorry for this soldier, pray for him, but let him know that he has a wife and you have a husband and the conversation is totally inappropriate for two married people.
On the other hand, if you get some pleasure out of it... then breaking it off may be difficult.
2007-07-07 17:34:23 · answer #6 · answered by David L 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
tell him you feel uncomforable with him saying those things and you have a husband and do not appreacaite that
if he doesnt stop stop writing him its that simple trust me he wont be devastated he can get what ever he wants over there from anyone for just a couple of bucks or a pack of ciggs he doesnt need your letters to keep him "happy"
2007-07-07 17:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jesse 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just stop writing.
If he writes have letter returned.
pretty easy.
Don't get into a further exchange.
There is a second possibility.
This guy might just be effin with you.
I did ten years USCG.
No pen pals:):)
BUT I CAN SEE a small clique of service buddies with crude sense of humor doing something like that.
2007-07-07 17:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by zes2_zdk 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Bless! id marry ricky if he exchange into sufficiently old, id sense proper familiar, even while i glance like ive been hit by the back end of the bus with the worst hangover ever! super call for you M`love x
2016-10-01 03:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
prolly not gonna like what i have to say.
if you still write this guy then you are lovin' it! it is obvious to me that you have weird and dangerous fantasies. you like to walk on the wild side, safe in believing he is half a world away. but hear this, girl, the clock is ticking and he will be home soon. your husband is gonna love that. what will you think of the wild side then?
if you don't shut this down immediately, and decisively you are looking at trouble, capital T.
2007-07-07 17:48:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Now this is what supporting the troops is all about! Forget the silly yellow magnets if you really want to support the troops, send this poor guy some naked pictures of yourself so that he can masterbate to them an d be good and motivated for his morning's mission.
2007-07-07 18:28:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋