I have JC of 2 girls(4 and 6) that are my world and spend as much time as i can with them(3 or more days a week)I would like to find someone to marry again but my children will allways be #1.So here is my question is it better that i find/pursue someone who has children too or someone who does not?I would like to hear pros and cons for both from people.
2007-07-07 17:20:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
all you can do is follow ur heart and be smart. i would not even think about getting serious with someone unless they were agreeable to pre-marital counseling and family counseling. that is more important than if they have kids or not, as far as i'm concerned. it's how they are willing to handle the situation and ur definitely going to need all the help u can get.
2007-07-07 18:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by dog lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better that you find the right person first, and then worry about how many children she has or doesn't have later. The most important thing is to only introduce someone to your children whom you intend on spending a lot of time with. Not every girl you meet at a bar should meet your children. That will cause a sense of instability, and displacement with them. Especially at such a young age. They will grow to believe that relationships are dissolvable, and do not last. Look for the right woman, and when you find her it won't matter if she has three kids, or no kids, or ten kids that don't live with her, because you care about her and she loves you and your children. That, above all other things, is the most important.
Good luck to you, and may you find happiness... for you, and for your girls.
2007-07-07 17:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will all depend on the person if they dont have children are they gonna be able to understand those times when you have to be there for ur girls spur of the moment even if the two of you had plans, will they love ur children and treat them good even though they are not hers. If they have kids of there own when all the kids are together are they gonna treat them all the same you know not jus buy hers something off the ice cream truck. Whoever the pearson may be it sound like they will be lucky to have you cuz not alot of men care about things like this ur girls are very lucky to have you as a father i wish you nothing but the best and hope you find that someone special. Good Luck
2007-07-07 17:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't rush things. If you're newly divorced, take some time to adjust to your new life. At the same time, don't go into dating with marriage being the main thing on your mind. If you are fortunate enough to meet someone that you fall in love with, that's great. I'm sure it will happen. Also, I wouldn't focus on whether or not the woman had children or not. If you think you can love and accept children that aren't yours, then don't stress about it. Good luck and have fun!!
2007-07-07 17:26:24 · answer #4 · answered by xxxxxxxx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you will have an easier time being with someone that already has children. They will be more understanding of needing to wait before introducing them to your children. They will also understand why your children are number one, because most likely they will have the same feelings for their own. They won't hold grudges if you have to cancel dates or change plans at last minute and they won't push you into "moving to the next level" and commit unless they really mean it. Good luck.
2007-07-07 17:30:49 · answer #5 · answered by taroo2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow good luck and I want to congratulate you it sounds like you really care about your girls. If you find a nice girl that cares about your kids but doesn't have any understand that she will want her "own" someday not because your girls aren't good enough for her but because they are not "hers"
with kids can be done but it can be like a roller coaster because it is not you and her hitting it off it is your kids and if they don't hit it off they will be miserable- and so will you! You have to realize the strain that will put on your family you w/2 her w/ 2 that is 4 kids and can be a real trial and she may resent the extra load of caring for your girls and her children too ask your kids what they think- love really can be blind and if they are not 100% for this then save your self another divorce and don't do it. kids have a way of knowing sometimes that we can't understand
2007-07-07 17:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by in His image 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look for someone who will be a good mother AND a good partner. Whether they have kids is irrelevant.
My father died when i was 5 (50 years ago.) My mother has always told me that she DID try to find someone but they couldn't be both. So she never remarried. She had made a commitment to her kids to always be the right mother, and would not bring in someone who would not be good for HER as well as be good for us.
2007-07-07 17:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by Marvinator 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did you even start this life if you couldn't finish it? Oh wait you want an answer not another question. A good answer is... with what you said you agreed to make any girl you meet from now on #2 because of a life you thought you wanted or weren't man enough to maintain either way you are half dead. You life half over, but don't mind me I'm pessimistic your glass in my opinion is definitely half empty!
2007-07-07 17:29:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
find someone with kids, that way she will be more understanding of your situation, because she is in the same situation
2007-07-07 17:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one
2007-07-07 17:25:08 · answer #10 · answered by JQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋