catholic girlfriend says she loves me alot but says she wont marry or have kidswit me unless i become catholic

Question

my girlfriend and i have only been going out for about 9 months. we truly love eachother and have talked about marriage and raising kids a number of times, but she also tells me that she refuses to marry me unless i become catholic. i dont know really know why that matters as long as we love eachother. is there some kind of rule or catholic law that i dont know about? she also says i will understand her issues and will be able to make her feel better if i become catholic(which i believe is bull because i dont think i will suddenly know how to make her stop from having a bad the second i become catholic) .I would really like some help and answers

Answer 1

*Is Catholic*

Jewel M above has a very good answer.

There is no specific requirement for Catholics to marry Catholics. Though, I would say that it is recommended.

Some people take their religious identity very seriously. It is not an extrinsic thing that one puts on and takes off later. At all times they are religious, or are at least striving to be religious. This makes marrying outside of the faith very difficult for such people because they are marrying somebody who does not participate in or accept their whole person - that is to say their religion.

In your case this is why it matters, you not being a Catholic cannot take communion with her, and this is a very difficult thing for somebody who loves you. Also a non-Catholic cannot participate fully in the life of a Catholic. This is a difficult thing.

Will you understand things more if you convert? Yes, somethings instantly, sometimes over time as you grow in your Catholicism and are conformed to Christ.

For myself, like Jewel M, I cannot conceive of marrying a non-Catholic. Perhaps there are certain circumstances but Catholicism is so very important. The intensity of Catholicism that I have must really be matched by the woman else she simply will just get burned by it.

My suggestion for you is first to start to understand Catholicism. Then you will be able to decide if you wish to pursue the relationship with this Catholic woman as a non-Catholic, convert, or let her go.

God bless.

Answer 2

Catholics can marry non-Catholics - but that doesn't mean they have to. Regardless, it's always better when two people of a common religion marry each other.

The doctrinal differences, even when they are relatively minor, can still present an obstacle in marriage. The family needs to pray together in order to stay together. When there is "disparity of cult", the act of praying together (which should be an asset) becomes a liability.

Apparently, your girlfriend has the where-with-all to see these potential complications and seeks to avoid them by marrying a man who shares her Catholic heritage.

She's right. If you were to convert to Catholicism, you would learn the reason for her concerns, and better appreciate her point of view - once you can see things from a Catholic perspective as well.

See what I mean when I talk about complications resulting from "disparity of cult"? See how much it effects your relationship now? How much more will "disparity of cult" effect things whence you're married?

Clearly, these complications are exactly what you girlfriend wants to avoid. As you can see, she truly is onto something here.

Of course, converting from one religion to another is not something you should allow yourself to be forced into. She can ask you to convert, but the decision is ultimately yours.

Let me try and illustrate the decision before you in spiritual terms. You can choose to convert, in which case you will gain a bride, and a closer relationship with God than you already have. Or you can choose not to convert, in which case you may very well lose your bride, and not have a closer relationship with God than you already have.

Hopefully that will have made your decision a little bit easier.

Answer 3

Catholics have no rule like that - it's just her personal opinion. Talk to her about your relegion and if you have none, maybe she's just trying to bring you to God so find a relegion you are comfortable with. Maybe try going to church with her a few times. It's really not that bad. I'm a born again Christian so I don't believe in what the Catholics believe. See, my dad was Catholic and my mom was Luthern when they married and each wanted the other to switch over. They both studied the bible and ended up becoming Christians so that's what we are today. Who knows, maybe you could change her relegion? Good luck with that!

Answer 4

It is a rule for purchasing married within the Catholic Church in a Catholic rite. If you get married external of the church (say in a Pentecostal or civil rite, it would not be required. If you acquired married within the Catholic church after which reneged at the promise to elevate youngsters as Catholics, then she might must divorce you after which it might be grounds for a CATHOLIC annulment following the divorce (that is the one means she might remarry afterwards). If you have been transparent approximately no longer elevating the youngsters as Catholics, nonetheless, it would not be grounds for a authorized annulment (that is headquartered upon fraud), however perhaps grounds for divorce (irreconcilable variations). It's complex. The truly query is whether or not you wish to get married to anyone whose devout emotions are so extraordinary from yours, and who's inclined to maintain youngsters up for this kind of ransom earlier than they are even born but.

Answer 5

I'm Catholic, and there is no crazy law like that. She just wants you to become Catholic. "sighs" Just try and talk about this problem, an try an talk some sense into it. That's just immature on her part saying she won't marry you if you don't become Catholic.

Answer 6

As a Catholic, i can tell you that the man i date being Catholic is on the top of my list. my faith is so close to my heart that it would be horrible for me not to be able to share it with a boyfriend.
in order for a non catholic to marry a catholic, they must obtain a special dispensation from their bishop, i think. if they obtain this dispensation, one of the conditions is that they raise any children catholic.
if you are really curious, you could ask to talk to her parish priest about it. im sure she would appreciate you being interesting in learning more, and it cant hurt.
i hope it works out for the best.....

Answer 7

its true you should marry if you have more things in common. perhaps its important to her to have children raised in the catholic church.

maybe she wants to be married by a priest, perhaps you cant get married in the catholic church without being catholic.

it sounds like her faith is of the utmost importance. you need to think how her faith and values will effect your life.

you may be in love, but you have to use both your mind as well as your heart.

Answer 8

become a Catholic, then marry her and get her pregnant. Then you can leave the church because as a catholic she can get a divorce or an abortion.

Answer 9

it is important to catholics & really smart in the long run - to be the same religion as one's spouse. also, look on the bright side - a religious person is less likely to cheat.....

Answer 10

she seriously need to accept the way your are and how you feel ...