lately I feel very alone. I have told him that I need him to smother me right now PLEASE, but he doesn't understand why "all of a sudden" I need him in my back pocket. My problem is... What should I do now that I have ASKED him to be there for me and he basically has ignored my plea. I am so frustrated and I am trying not to let it get to me since I am sure that it is all the raging hormones that I have no control of.. Am I wrong to feel unappreciated right now because I asked for his support and he has ignored me?? I just want to cry, I have cried ALOT both to him and alone. Is he being selfish or am I for asking???
2007-07-07 16:36:14 · 9 answers · asked by sledderchick 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I wish I could give you a hug right now! Keep asking him. Keep telling him. He may have thought it was the hormones talking but he also needs to know that they are a part of you and this is where you are right now.
His possible fears and emotional upheaval over a third child may be holding him back. Ask him how he feels about this child, and about you.
Let him know you are happy about the baby, you love him and your children and it will all be fine but you need a little extra support from him right now.
If he keeps ignoring you kick him in the keyster! And stop doing his laundry, making him dinner and have a play date planned for the other kids when he gets home from work. Be unavailable to him and see how he feels. It might wake him up- but could also make him angry!
2007-07-07 18:13:43 · answer #1 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either of you are really being selfish....I think he's being a little inconsiderate of your feelings. How does he not understand that your hormones are raging and that is what is wrong? You'd think he'd get it and realize that it isn't "all of a sudden" thing. My husband always tried to comfort me and make me feel better. We both realized that it was just the hormones, but ignoring them isn't going to make you feel any better. That being said, I would try to talk to him again and if you still get nothing, just try to deal with it on your own. I know how hard it can be to keep those hormones in check. Maybe you can find a magazine article or a book on how fathers can help mothers when they are pregnant. I did that with my husband and there was a lot that he didn't realize that i was going through. Hope everything works out for you.
2007-07-07 23:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not taking his side, but I have some insight as to how some guys think. They're thinking "what happened to my girl? Man, she's getting psycho on me..I'm outta here!" Also, when you cry, guys don't like the emotions. They want you to be able to handle it (pregnancy) with some strength. Also, maybe he feels that no matter what he does, he can't satisfy your need for closeness and sensitivity. You can't really expect him feel pregnant too, right? He is a guy and he really doesn't have a clue of what it's like. I'm sure he doesn't hate you or love you less..he just can't give you ALL of what you need right now. Do stuff all together, like a family barbeque, call everyone you can and tell them you need them to visit (to take some of the load off your hubby), cook a nice meal for you and your husband. Fathers are excellent at being protectors, but the majority suck at being the teary-eyed kind. He should be there for you to a degree, but if he's always running out on you or shows no interest in the baby and your health then you have a very selfish, half-a** husband.
2007-07-08 00:40:27 · answer #3 · answered by MissMcClain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being pregnant is a blessed event, but at the same time it can be trying. Many women desire to have emotional support while they're expecting the baby..it's normal. Men and women sometimes look at things differently. I'm sorry that you are hurting right now, but try to focus on the positve and the event of the new baby coming.
Maybe you should try talking to your physician as well..usually nurses ask about how you're feeling emotionally. It's best to try to get a support system now. It probably was already challenging with two children, and every time a new baby comes it gets a little tougher. You just need time to adjust, a lot of changes going on in your body, as well in your life. "Be in Courage in Jesus name"
2007-07-07 23:50:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE is being selfish...not you. He should be there for you when you ask him too. Try talking to him about it again. Let him know that you don't understand it either, but you really need him right now. If that doesn't work, then please find a friend or family member that you can count on. It's not good for you to be stressed out and crying all the time while you are pregnant. Good luck..I hope you feel better.
2007-07-07 23:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by April D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel better:)
I am also PG with #3 at the moment - it's overwhelming because you know that your responsibilities are about to increase.
If you're feeling unsure of your relationship then it's probably not helping things. You need to communicate your insecurities to your husband without blaming him or going over the top.
A good husband would try to understand and at least listen a little.
2007-07-07 23:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by spacebunny3000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish for asking your husband for more attention.. You are pregnant and probably a little moody right now and ALL women, pregnant or not, are in need of ATTENTION!!
2007-07-09 16:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by Alisha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time for you to settle in front of the Lifetime Movie Network with a carton of ice cream. :-) A must for every hormonal woman.
2007-07-07 23:44:37 · answer #8 · answered by RENThead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll pray for you.
2007-07-08 17:14:49 · answer #9 · answered by Cee T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋