He blames my mother because when she was born I had to choose between being homeless w/him and a roof over me and my daughters head. I chose the roof, not to mention I wasn't sure he was the father until she was 8 mos old and had a DNA test. She is now 3 and all the sudden he wants something to do with her. My husband has raised her since she was like 15 mos old.
Her bio father is now with an 18 yr old and engaged to her after only being divorced from his first wife since Nov 06. He also left his 2 yr old son to be with this 18 yr old. He has done absolutely nothing for his daughter.
I am not jealous of this 18yr old by any means....she WAS a very good friend until all this happened. Help me people what is your advice?????????
2007-07-07 09:59:28 · 16 answers · asked by cowgirl_mom12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No chance for full custody. The courts will only allow him visitation, so then according to his past, he will not even come around if he only gets visitation. If he also has anything on you, then he can use it to his advantage. But it doesn't sound like he could since you have had the best interest for your daughter. So you have nothing to worry about it. He can threaten all he wants, but don't let that get to you.
2007-07-07 10:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by butterscotch_36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a good case in the court room. All you have to do is take your mother in for a witness as to what happened when you had the baby and then bring in his second wife so she can testify that he left her and their son also. As he seems to want to "wife jump" and leave the kids behind when he finds some new woman toy to play with then he really stands no chance of gaining custody. If he has a record with the police department you can use that too. You can find that out on-line. You were a very good and responsible mother when it came time to choose between this loser and raising your child properly. Get a good family lawyer too. It costs nothing for an initial consutation to explain your circumstance. And go with your insticts on this consultation as well, If you do not like the attorney or do not feel comfortable, go to another one. You will want a good one so check out how many cases this person has in a normal year and what the winning ratio is.
This bio father has a real losing track record so I would not sweat it too badly. Best of luck to you and tell the bio father that the best he will ever get is visitation. And where is the child support? I certainly hope he has had to pay this to you as he either is no longer homeless or has "earned" his money leeching off of other women.
2007-07-07 10:09:30 · answer #2 · answered by phxmilitarymom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I suppose we could take a step back and ask what would be best for your daughter? I know you said she has a stepfather but, that is not the same as your biological father.
Now, I understand why you are hesitating as he did not choose to be a daddy in the beginning; however, if he wants to be a daddy now, he needs to be taken to court and let the lawyers work through this.
I do not think he can get full custody since he bailed on your child since birth. So, I would not worry too much about that! The law will be on your side there. Unless, you have done things that would make them think the child does not need to be with you either! It's a sticky situation and one that I would take very seriously, if i were you!
Just keep being a good mom, hire a good lawyer and if he wants visitation, he needs to fork out the back child support payments from when she was born! I would definitely ask for this!
Best of luck to you, in this case.
2007-07-07 10:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK cowgirl, city slicker here with some good Ola' advise for ya!
1. you got dirt on him as for what i read use that in court
2. explain how he is unstable even with the 18 y.o
3. have it your way but with a little lee way supervise visitation
the Justice system eats that up
4. and most important no judge will take full custody away from a responsible mother unless it can be prov en that your a flake
I've seen this scenario played out time and time again a judge will not take the child unless you are are one of these
drug addict
home less
abusive
irresponsible that he looks like a ray of light
Tell the judge you have no prob introducing him slow if he stands up and gives child support and you are sure he wont kid nap your child your and remember whats best for the child not necessarily whats best for you it sucks but he as the father does have rights so give him a chance
2007-07-07 10:29:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look you have to go to to the courts and get the child a advocate from the courts be case they are the best thing the have for children and she can make sure what is the best thing for the child and tell your husband to fight for his acknowledgment that he isthe father and he is the only father she knows and this is just going to hurt the baby!!!! and why does he eant the child now does he want to get is new wife a way to get her locked down and maybe he is just sick person that hate people being happy so he will go to any means to see you and your family fales becase he blames you for choosen the welfer of you and the child and he is still a big selfish and still pushing his way in to your life he seems that he cant belive there is women that can make there own chooses and for the18 what he will replace with some one that is more nieve then her and she was never your friend she is child still and that is it
2007-07-07 10:34:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't get full custody NO MATTER WHAT. Shared custody will be the best case scenario for him - if he gets even that. Unfortunately, unless you can establish that he is an unfit parent, you may not be able squash his rights to see the child. I would certainly get a good lawyer and do what you need to do to get child support - especially in the event the judge determines he gets visitation rights. You may even be able to get "back child support" - all the money he would normally have owed you all this time. He doesn't have a good track record. He also cannot get FULL custody, because in order to do that he will have to prove that YOU are unfit....and he will not be able to do this at all.
2007-07-07 10:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all the "facts" you have stated are true, there ain't a judge in the world that would give her to him.
I don't know what state you live in, but there are a lot of states that have something about mother's rights. Except for in very rare cases, they try to keep the child with the mother at all times.
I think you should just go through the process of whatever he is trying to do. Don't sign anything unless you know EXACTLY what it is and what it means. In fact, if I were you, if he actually pursues this, I would get an attorney, just to make sure you do everything right.
Who knows? Maybe he is just saying all that to scare you and he really doesn't have the balls to go through with it.
Either way, just keep your daughter safe and make sure she knows you are there for her and just do what you gotta do and I think things will be fine.
2007-07-07 10:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by animal lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The court will look at the fact that he has not been there. Also has he paid any support for this child? If/When you do go to court to FIGHT this custody dont help his case by saying what you have said here (that you had to make a chioce and maybe that is why he wasnt there. Let him plead his own case. Bring up he divorce and prove that you have been the only stable part of your daughters life. DONT GO TO COURT WITHOUT A LAWYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck!
2007-07-07 10:07:57 · answer #8 · answered by Jess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hearing his ways and past sweetie, uv really no need to worry. he doesnt stand a chance-could u imagine being taken from a loving family and placed in a house with two complete strangers- and being told ur not gonna see mummy and daddy until he gets bored of her!!
noone would allow a child to go through that-childrens rights would never allow it- and im not sure at what age but obv. providing she can talk she can be asked where she wants to stay, then that home situation assessed-u sound as though ur gonna win this custody battle.
i hope iv helped put ur mind at ease.
2007-07-07 10:14:45 · answer #9 · answered by gem w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you take him to court have all that you said in writing and proof of what he has done with other son and that hes not had any contact with his daughter for two years the judge will not take her from you ,but while your in court or before file papers for child support against him and avise his other women that he left for the eighteen yr. old that she can file for child support he will be paying money to your for the young girl and to her for the young boy ,not much left for him. dont be affraid juswt let your anger with him lead you to the truth
2007-07-07 10:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by orlando d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋