bros before hoes?

Question

my friend, who crashed at my place this summer, confided in me that he liked one of our mutual friends... at the time, i liked her as well but wanted my friend to experience love. after over a month, i was possessed to tell my friend that i liked her, and asked whether i could pursue her.

after the green light, i waited a week before asking her out, and then another 2 days (after the date) before telling my friend. at the time, it did not feel natural to make all of my thoughts/activities transparent to my friend, which is the cited reason for my being "shady." i admit, i did not want him to find out that i was actively pursuing her... but i also knew that since he's leaving in a month he would not really have a chance with her since she explicitly told both of us that she wouldn't be interested in something that short-lived.

i'm very interested in the girl... but want my friendship to be preserved. is this life... or should i have behaved differently?

Answer 1

i think that you should talk it out wit ya friend b4 you do if your friendship iz that important to you..maybe he will understand since hes leaving anyway..yall shouldnt trip over a female if yall are dat close anyway..y she gotta be a hoe tho??

Answer 2

I'm familiar with that expression and I understand the brotherhood it's meant to suggest, but referring to somone clandestinely that you propose to like as a "ho" might skew your perspective a little bit. (causing you to f u c k up with her in some way). Honor (such as it is) was satisfied when you asked your friend if he had any objections to your pursuing her yourself...no further explanation was necessary. Your friendship shouldn't suffer because you haven't done anything to harm it. Don't tell your lady friend any of this or she will likely receive the news quite poorly. Women aren't pass-around objects or property...and even though you weren't thinking that she was, it's likely to be interpreted that way. Just go get her and treat her well. In the future, when you decide you like someone, go ahead and act accordingly. Life's too short to worry about whether your friend experiences love...it's a full-time endeavor trying to look out for your own romantic interests. Some things we each have to do for ourselves or they don't get done.

Answer 3

bros before hoes; sisters before misters; mates before dates . . . it's all the same. see, the wonderful thing about friendship is that it's (was it socrates who said it?) the highest form of love. it's unbiased by obligation, romance, passion, or dependence. therefore, a true friend is someone you can afford to be honest with. tell your boy where you're at, plain and simple: "i really like this girl and i want to see if there's something there -- but i honor our friendship and do not want to betray that." don't ask for his permission per se; just let him know what you want. also, let's not forget the girl. this si a human being with her own life, not a pretty thing to passed around. it is entirely possible she's not interested in anything resembling what you or your friend have in mind. and if she's a first class lady, she'd think twice about being in a situation in which friends are at odds. i mean, you have to be pretty cold to put the "ho" in homewrecker.

Answer 4

Lady first
& you sound like your a sincer guy
yet your reference to a girl your dating says the opposite

I would say some help from above will help="In marriage the bed is undefiled, but all others shall be judged." Hebrews 13 the same chapter that tells us once we let Jesus into our heart "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee."
on faith=our best - good grooming hair to toes, with nice clothing kept.
to think our best - read the bible and get directions-especially the book of proverbs-i read 3 verses of it a day for 3 days, and then 3 new ones-greatest book of wisdom in the greatest book of smartness-the bible

yet to get the connection we must apply the answer from within-This helped me as born a Jew to realize =when we admit we need something more we are ready to consider the one that gave it all for us, to help us.

As promised "Unto us a child is born a son is given, and he will be the mighty God, the wonderful counselor, and the prince of peace." Isaish 9:6

He said "I go to the cross for the joy set before me, that you might believe." Gospel words of Jesus
"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten, repent quickly therefore (even of one lie) and turn to me. Behold I stand at your heart door and knock, if you hear my word and open the door I will come in and be your friend." Revelation 3:19&20

So I prayed and had this need fulfilled in my life ="Jesus I am sorry for my sins, thanks for dying for me and promising to come into my heart to help me, please do and be my friend, amen."

A new wonderful life began for me-and is offered to each person.

May you have a great day, I am praying for you and each concerned, David

Answer 5

If you're really serious about this girl, go for it. If its some middle school relationship that isn't really going to last, I'd say don't risk your friendship. Friendships in middle school often go further than relationships in middleschool. Think of what you value more. You can't make both happy.

Answer 6

Whatever. It's done now. Date the girl and your friend who's not even going to be around will understand.

Answer 7

Sometimes you can't pick who you want to love but this is all a part of life. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone (hopefully) lives to learn from them

Answer 8

it doesn't matter what we think it bothers you, it doesn't feel right for some reason, you are the one who has to live with yourself. it's given you a guilty conscience so you must think it wrong.