How do you choose your bride's maids?

Question

I'm just asking out of curiosity, here (very single right now, and enjoying it!). If you're married/engaged, how did you choose your bride's maids? If you're not, how will/would you? I think that if I ever do marry, I'll probably ask a couple of my closest friends, my one younger sister, and the oldest daughter of each of my older sisters (I've got three older sisters, all of whom are married and have at least one daughter. Having all of them would just make the bridal party too big). So how would you/did you do it?

Answer 1

i have no sisters so i picked all my best friends that were in high school with me.

i think that your older sisters might not want to be in a wedding party. my mom tells me it is a young lady type of deal :P. but i am sure they would help out in some other way to make your day special. so i would invite who you already have planned and have the others do other things to help. i do not think anyone will have hurt feelings.

Answer 2

Looking back on most of my girlfriends, I found that we all drifted apart as we graduated from school. I still talk with some of them on occasion, but we're not nearly as close as we once were. We live far away, have our own hubbies and boyfriends, and have simply moved on with our lives.

My concern was that I would just be calling on these girls to suddenly become a big part of my life, spend tons of money on a shower and dresses and whatnot, and then probably drift apart once again. This seemed very silly to me, so I ditched that plan. These girls are all invited to my wedding, and I am glad to have them a part of my day, but avoiding the bridesmaid thing is a blessing, too.

Friends come and go, family tends to stay put. I have a tiny family, but we're very close. I asked my brother to be my man of honor because we have been best buddies our entire lives. He had been active in the Marines for the past four years, and I missed him like you wouldn't believe! It felt only natural to have him by my side when I marry my best friend in a couple months.

Simply put, it is best to have bridesmaids (or guys!) that have been in your life for a long time, and that won't go anywhere just because you move away or have kids or whatnot. Family will always be there for you, as will those friends who you could always count on. Don't pick people for the sake of having them there--make them count, and don't be afraid to bend the rules a little if you have to. It's your day--let your heart decide.

Answer 3

This is a scary place . . . I originally wanted three bridesmaids (small and elegant). Well, I ended up with SIX. This is because if your husband/fiance' has sisters, they ultimately get to be in the wedding, right? Then, what about your own sisters, step-sisters, cousins, and friends? AWWW! It was a disaster. I would advise any woman planning on getting married to choose only those closest to her. This is not a time for tip toeing around everyone else's feelings. For one day, do what you want to and make no apologies for it.

Answer 4

At my first wedding I chose the wives of my husband's friends. Our best man and MOH were our closest friends and since we didnt really socialize much, we didnt have a lot of friends and none of my family lived close enough to come to the wedding. For this my 2nd wedding I'm having my sister and one of my nieces, whom I'm very close to, as my attendants. I think your plan is a good one as most brides do choose close friends and family.

Answer 5

I think that so far you are on the right track with having your family participate. I think that most brides choose their sisters or closest friends. I have only a half sister and we were never that close so I ended up choosing my closest girlfriends and they are all BM's (don't have too many girlfriends)

Answer 6

My son is getting married next year, and to my dismay, neither of his sisters have been asked to be bridesmaids. Although her sister has been asked, along with her best friends.
I'm really angry about it all as the girls were so looking forward to being asked.
So when you make your plans, try to remember that you might not be marrying an orphan with no family to take into consideration.
If I was in your situation, I'd take your best friends, and your youngest sister. And his sister, if he has any!
Here in the Uk things are done differently to the USA.

Answer 7

I had my best friend in my heart as my MOH. She lived very far away from where the wedding was, but I just wanted her to have that very honoured position for us. My other bridesmaids were a good friend I worked with, a cousin I was close to, and a niece.

Answer 8

First you determine how big of a wedding you are having. A wedding under 100 people shouldn't have more than 3 or 4 bridesmaids. You should never have more than about 8. They should be people who are close to you and who you won't look back 10 years later and wonder why they were in it. That's why friends are tricky.

Answer 9

I'm not having any bridesmaids. My cousin and his wife had a lovely wedding without them, which I thought was a great idea. No need to put people to all that extra trouble and expense. And no need to pick and choose, and risk having people feel left out.

Answer 10

I asked my best friend to be my maid of honor, my fiances daughter will be a bridesmaid, and another new friend will be my 3rd. I'm not real social, so my choices were obvious.