How should I get my dad to stop being an alcoholic?

Question

My Dad drinks alot and smokes and I don't think thats good. Sometimes he could have a huge bottle of scotch and still have 2 packs of beer. He makes me not want to have friends over.

My dad started drinking and smoking because in one month 4 years ago hid best friend and favorite teacher died.
Once My Dad told my friend when she sleeping over that he loved her and tried to kiss her on the lips. My friend would not even sleep over for a whole year

Answer 1

LOOK ADVICE UR DAD WITH LOADS OF KINDNESS N TELL HIM HOW U FEEL OK FIRST N FORMOST BE RELAXED OK.

Answer 2

YOU can't 'stop' your dad from being an alcoholic ... only HE can do that, and he may not be willing to realize it yet. It's the same thing with his smoking ... he can't be 'stopped' because quitting is something he has to want to do on his own. YOU do have some things that you can do to feel 'safer' in your house, though ... and your friends, too. First ASK your dad if he is ever 'worried' about how much he drinks and how much he smokes. TELL HIM that he's 'scaring you' because alcoholics and smokers can both die very young, and you want him around to be a grandfather to your kids (I'm presuming you are a kid still, so this may 'shock him' into seeing what's going on). Once you've had that talk, though, LEAVE HIM ALONE. Don't sit in the room when he's drinking or smoking ... and when you have your friends over, you need to go OUTSIDE to play, or go into your bedroom and 'close the door' and open your windows to let the fresh air in. Talk to your friends about your dad, and his 'problems' and ask them to be 'nice to him' but to stay away from him when he's drinking and/or smoking. That's about ALL you can do ... and good luck ...

Answer 3

AW, honey, that is so hard to handle! You could try talking to your Dad and letting him know how his behavior affects you. Seriously though, with an alcoholic they don't see it as a problem. Until they do they will not seek any kind of help as they see it as their way of "unwinding" after a hard day and it does no harm to others and is no one elses business. Sounds like he is a pretty hard drinker. Does he still work? Is he still able to do normal things around the house? Does he get verbally or physically abusive when drinking? Does your mom still live with you all?
There is really no way to make him stop. If he is getting abusive then he can be arrested and they may make him take counseling in jail and for so many months or years after jail. You could try looking up the AA on the computer and pulling up meeting places that are close to home and leaving them where he can find them. You can talk to your priest or preacher about it, your mom. As long as you keep talking to the correct people about it you may be able to step in and help him. I never had that luck when trying to help an alcholic friend stop drinking though - he just drank in private instead. Good luck to you, honey, and try to get other caring adults involved, his brothers, sisters, his mom and dad, your mom, your priest/preacher/pastor.

Answer 4

My dads an alcoholic too but he never drank around me. he still acts like a jackass though. im 18 and never knew he was an alcoholic until he got a DUI 2 years ago. My dad supposedly doesn't drink anymore but he's had a few slip-ups that my mom and I caught. It's so frustrating though b/c he hurts everybody with his actions. Unless he is truly committed to quitting drinking, his behavior isn't going to change. Just go to other friends houses. It works temporarily and it's a positive thing to do. Do NOT start drinking yourself. Most likely you will be faced with the same problems as your father if you do.

Answer 5

Honey, you can't change your father. Alcoholism is sometimes classified as a disease. Your dad has to want to stop himself before anything will be done. There isn't a thing you can do about his behavior. There is an organization for family members of alcoholic parents. It is called Alanon. See if you have a chapter in your area and, if your old enough to do this on your own (or with your mom or sister, brother), attend meetings and learn to deal with this horrible problem. My father was an alcoholic, too. I know where your at on this. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

You can't really stop your dad from being an alcoholic. People with addictions need help by a professional and eventhough you love your dad and want him to stop, he won't until he gets outside help. No matter how much you or your family talks to him about his addiction, it won't do any good and people who live with someone who is an addict goes through alot of heartache, stress and pain because they are suffering too due to how the addict is because when a person drinks or uses drugs, it takes effect of their personality. I dealt with somenone who was addicted to crack cocaine and an alcoholic and it was the worst years of my life.
Just continue to let your dad know that you love him and care about him and his health but advise him that he needs help and if he doesn't get it, it can put a damper on the relationship.

Answer 7

Look in the phone book for Al-Anon. They help family members who live with alcoholics. I can see why you're embarrassed to have friends over. You need more help than a child/teen can get by herself. Confronting your father could be dangerous and will probably have little effect. You need the help of another adult close to the family - your mother, father's girlfriend (if your parents are divorced), aunt, grandparents, etc. Do you have anyone else you can go live with? The situation is not safe, if something were to happen (fire, home invasion) your father would not be able to protect you. Please talk to another relative that you are close to about 1) removing you from the situation and 2) getting help for your father. He really has to want to do it himself, but in the meantime you shouldn't have to live like that.

Answer 8

Honey you can't stop your father from drinking. However you can ask your mother to take you to Alanon which is a group for kids of alcoholics. They will give you ways to cope with your life with your dad, and help you learn not to enable his behavior.

Your dad has to stop on his own. You aren't responsible for his drinking, its nothing you have done or not done. He can love you with all his heart but still not be strong enough to stop drinking. Ask your mom or look it up on the computer, and find out where they meet and go there.

Answer 9

I grew up in that scenario and it's tough. There isn't too much you can do except wait for him to hopefully one day send himself to a rehab or a different program. If I were you I would get involved with an Al-Anon or Al-teen group in your neighborhood. These groups are deisnged for you to go in and talk about the sturggles your going through.

If your mom or another gaurdian is around that you could talk to about it that would be great as well. Also, if he were to ever become violent (not saying he will every drunk is different) contact authorties or talk to your mom when you can about it.

On a side note- my dad has been sober for 10 years!

Answer 10

I understand this situation all too well. My entire family are alcoholics and it can be difficult at times to deal with. When I was younger, I never brought friends over because of being afraid to be embarassed.

The best thing you are going to be able to do is just continue to love him and give him all of the support you can. Try to talk with him but dont be abbrassive as it might make him upset. Take it slow is the best thing I can tell you. When you do speak with him, try to be very positive and maybe when you see him wanting to drink try to involve him in something else. try to keep his mind occupied and off the beer.

Answer 11

Your dad suffers from what we know today as the disease of alcoholism. Talking to him will probably be of no use. You should at least try to help yourself cope w/ the alcoholic. See if there is a group called Al-Anon near you. It is a group for family & friends of alcoholics & can be of immense value to help you cope w/ the situation. It will give you the support you need & info about alcoholism, It will help you to feel good about yourself again & give the 'do's & don't's about how to help your dad.

Give it a try & good luck. My heart & prayers are with you. Nala