I am a stay at home mom of two..what can I do to get a new life?

Question

just unhappy...have a good husband but just pissed off at my life right now...sometimes I just want to run away from it all.

Answer 1

I have been there and I know I felt like I should have went to school, I should have done this or that but these years are so precious for your babies. Pretty soon they will be old enough to take to childcare and you will be working. Try not to focus on yourself so much ( it was hard for me) and focus on them and their needs, I am not in any way saying that you are probably a bad parent AT ALL. But there are always things to plan for with them and things to teach them and try your best to just have fun with them. You'll get through this, start taking brisk walks with or w/out them when dad gets home and do one or two things a day for yourself. It gets better, now my kids are in school and I have lots of memories of things we used to do at home together before I went back to work. Best Wishes.

Answer 2

You don't say how old your kids are. Under 5 you need to get a sitter (or a mom you can exchange time with) and once a week simply do something adult for yourself. Over 5 and in school, you need to find something regular to do when the kids are away. Charities, book clubs, bowling league, take a cooking class or any kind of class, something with adults and something just for you.

Women tend to feel that if they don't spend 24/7 with their kids that somehow they will short change them. What you are doing by not continuing on your life as an adult, is shortchanging them because they won't have a mom who is there and in the moment, they have a mom who resents her life.

Divide your time up between activies you do apart from your kids and activies you do with your kids. Go for the simple and stress free. Make cookies together. Plant a garden. Dust and vacumn. Make a rainy day picnic and have it in the living room. Do the laundry. Involve your kids (no matter what age) and you get to teach and have fun with it.

Then each part of the day, everyone has private time. Young enough, its a nap or quiet play. Older, its reading(you can all do this in the same room, set a timer for a no talking period), drawing, computer, bath.

You need to make sure you are sleeping enough. If that means you take a nap every day, then you do and if they are young enough, you should be sleeping when they are. Older, they can have quiet time while you nap. Make sure you are eating right, cut down on junk food and soda and add more vegetables and fruits. Get moving, nature walks, bike rides, swimming or even squirting the kids with the hose in the back yard. If the kids are old enough, leave them at home and take a walk with your husband every evening after dark. Hold hands and talk. If they aren't old enough, put them in the stroller and take them with you.

Essentually what I am telling you is that you have to create your own life, and stay at home mom's tend to get overwhelmed and don't understand why. Its a damn hard job and children (bless them), will suck the very life out of you. It doesn't do them any good to see mom at their beck and call, fulfilling all their needs at the expense of her own. Real life isn't like that and you need to start at the very beginnng by preparing them for real life.

You are doing the best thing for your kids, and as much as you are sacrificing, you will always be thankful that you had the opportunity. Stop trying to do everything, slow down and take care of yourself every day.

Answer 3

I've been a stay-at-home mom of 2 for 12 years now. It's very hard for me to do anything because the cost of childcare is astronomical and my mother does not want to tie up every day of hers watching my kids, so working is out for me at this point. There are plenty of days I feel like I'm climbing the walls. I started selling on ebay to make some extra cash (since Avon wasn't cutting it). It helps pass the time, but not really. It's hard to find a life when you are at home all the time. Do you choose to be home or are you able to get childcare and work part time? If you can, I suggest you try, even for just a few hours a week (or even at night when your husband is home with the kids). You can try joining a gym or finding support groups for women, so you can at least make some friends and have someone to talk to. Good luck.

Answer 4

Girl, i am the same way, i'm a stay at home mom of two and my kids are good and i have a wonderful hubby but sometimes i get down in the dumps becasue it's the same ol thing every single day, housework, kids, cooking, cleaning...it's like every day is a repeat and it gets depressing, we all have days, i know i do where i just want to run away....just show them what it's like without mommy....sounds like you need some you time...you really do, talk to your husband and let him no how your feeling, tell him you need some time to your self a little while every day, that's what i do and i feel so refreshed and calm afterward, about an hour after my hubby comes home from work he knows its my time all alone, some days i walk, some days i just sit on the computer alone, sometimes i read...but let me tell you that hour to myself every day is the only thing that keeps me sane...so talk to him and get some time for yourself...

Answer 5

Listen , you may need to seek a therapist, the reason i say it is because maybe there could be a little bit of depression, If that isn't the case then you need to look around and see what things YOU can do to make things different, For example, if your a stay at home MOM and your kids are a little older maybe start getting back into the work force, put them into a part-time daycare , and you seek a part- time , to slowly reintroduce yourself with out the high pressure of a full- time just yet, another thing is maybe you need some "mommy" time,
Time just to yourslef , find a hobbie , a class, lessons , excersise, a coffee date with friends to just catch up, or as simple as a few hours at home Alone to unwind, You say hubby is a good man so maybe you guys are just lacking support , teamwork , or romance in the relationship , you gotta keep things fresh, with kids, because it's real easy to fall into a routine (kids function better on one) But it will take it's toll on you and hubby, So talk to him make plans to spend couples time together, surpise him one day with something romantic, Make new friends , this sometimes helps, YOu may just be a little burned out or tired, it happens to all moms you will get past this, and come out stronger wiser more vibrant, and happy!
Just get going girl don't stay in that slump, And you 2 kids need a happy mommy to be happy kids, they need you , you can't run anway from them ,it will ruin their entire lives.
Lots of Luck!
"If you reinvent yourself, others will ask you to help them reinvent themselves." -- Mark Victor Hansen

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Answer 6

Put the kids in preschool? Get a job? Take a class? Join a gym? Learn a new hobby? Get out and make some new friends?

Lots of opportunities out there. Pick one or two and give them a try.

Answer 7

i know how you feel the best place to start would be to get a part time job one that might work around your husband so he can have the kids or a family member could look after them if you dont have anyone there are some great childminders out there going back to work will give you loads of confidence and also meet new people it helped me loads

Answer 8

u must kno wot is lacking happiness in your life...thn try to get out of it.!! u have a loving hubby & 2 nice kids too! wot else do u want??