I am 18 years old I hold down a part-time job and getting ready to start a full time night job, And start college in the Fall. I have a boyfriend and I would like to spend the night with him every other weeken which was fine for a while now she says it's not. she trys to set a bedtime for me, and tell me what to eat, wear, and anything else. She also discourages me says I will never make it in the real world, or college im worthless, etc. etc. . I'm getting an apartment, and getting out on my own because of this. I don't want to quit talking to her completely, but if she keeps this up I won't have any choice, I am quite responsible and respect my mother alot. I just wish she'd let me grow up. Any suggestions in achieving this with out ruining our relationship?? help!!
2007-07-07 05:16:50 · 9 answers · asked by Heart_breaker07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her. Be open but also let her know you are an adult and are ready to make your own decisions. You still have a lot of growing up to do at your age but you're also old enough to have a clear idea of what you'd like to go after.
With that said, respect your mom and be willing to listen to her and consider her advice. I can assure you that moving out and living on your own is much harder than talking to your mom and just being fair with her. On your own and going to college and working will be very difficult financially and emotionally. Trust me, I know from experience on a daily basis.
I'd advise you to stay home and work things out with your mom. Emphasize you are an adult and want to spread your wings but that you do still need her help. Your mom is just scared you don't need her anymore. At 18, I can tell you that you do and you'll continue to need her for years to come. Be patient and not in such a hurry to grow up and be on your own.
2007-07-07 05:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are getting your own apartment then don't worry about what what your parents are trying to make you do or not do! Once you are out on your own and you show them you are capable of taking care of yourself they will earn a measure of respect for you! What ever you do, don't jump into things like marriage and family too soon! Wait until you are at least 25 and have some schooling and life experiences behind you! If holding down an apartment gets a little rough on you, you may want to consider a roommate, but don't move your boyfriend in, rather have one of your responsible girl friends move in, some one you can trust to pay their share without fail. Also, and this is very important, if you are sexually active with your boyfriend, ALWAYS USE BIRTH CONTROL, you should be on the pill or some other form of b/c and always insist your boyfriend use condoms, ALWAYS! If your parents are belittling you now, wait and see how they are if you tell them you are pregnant!
2007-07-07 05:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by bender_xr217 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers have a really hard time when it comes to their kids growing up. She is trying to hold on to the last thread of her little girl that she can. It is hard for us to see our kids as mature adults. Especially if you are the first one or only one that has gotten to this point in her life. You moving out will help that some. She will call all the time to check up on you and make sure that her baby is o.k.. Your relationship will get better the longer that you are out of the house and doing fine. You are moving in the right direction as long as this is a thought through plan and you have the financing to cover yourself. Good Luck
2007-07-07 05:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
before you dismiss what i am about to say read the whole thing okay. i am 18 i was the same way when i was 16 i couldn't understand why my parents wouldn't let me grown up. so i moved out. i ended up on the streets all over three states and all that because i thought that i could handle it. nope i couldn't. its a lot harder than you think and later on and life you will miss the times your parents told you what to do. (things are so simple then) i am not saying that its not hard to deal with what i am saying is sit down tell her that you need to be able to make decisions for yourself and see what life is about on your own. that you are listening to what she has to say but you would like a little room to grow up and do things. parents do that out of love not trying to ruin your life but sometimes you have to sit down discuss it and come up with something that makes everyone happy. those who usually rush out into the world end up right back in mommys arms when things go bad. for me my family disowned me. so feel lucky you have people who care that much about you. freedom and growing up can be great but to much at one time will set you back a lot!
2007-07-07 05:24:49 · answer #4 · answered by suni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a mother and not wanting to see myself in a situation like this 10 years frm now let me tell that this is a very disturbing but in a way normal behavior of your mother, now I'm not saying that putting you down is the best thing she can do but she may be scared (that something may happen to you) afraid to let go. she maybe sees that you are growing up and soon will want to leave the house...this is a very big step for both of you...please understand your mother deep down she only wants whats best even though its pretty hard to see that now...letting you go only means that she will no longer be able to "protect" you...and by this I'm saying she just dont want to see you fail.....trust me what i tell you its true..she will eventually realize there is not much she can do...that you have grown up to be a very responsible and trustworthy person....(hope this advise helps)...you may also want to try talking to her express to her how you feel about this situation that you love her dearly but have to let go....as hard as it may seem...
2007-07-07 05:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by starlight♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre still young, but once you get out on your own it all on you. she shouldn't put u down or discourge you. But your mom will alway be your mom and will probably always see u as her child. I think she wants to make sure your making good chioces in life. once she sees you making responsible choices in life maybe she can respect you more
2007-07-07 05:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you'll just need to prove to her that she's wrong......once you get your OWN place. As long as you live under HER roof, you need to abide by the rules of HER home.
It doesnt sound as tho you have a relationship. At least you arent happy with it....nor is she.
2007-07-07 05:24:23 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as your parents are supporting you. You have to do what they say. No matter how old you are.
2007-07-07 05:21:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
take your time and finish school
2007-07-07 05:22:31 · answer #9 · answered by steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋