how do i help myself not to be pessimistic?

Question

...i've become a negative thinker, cynical, suspicous and i often isolate myself from friends. i only pick a few close people to talk to about my problems. it affects everything i do and especially my relationship with my bf. i love him but i don't trust him enough which causing our relationship to suffer. he doesn't give up on me, but i don't want to make it a point where we both couldn't take it anymore. i need to save myself first before i can save my relationship. any advice will be appreciated. thanks.

Answer 1

okay girl, I too do this - close myself off from friends etc. here is what I have been doing to help myself. I have written a paper listing all of the good things I have going in my life. all of my possessions that I like, my pets, my cars, my job ( well the fact that I am employed anyway) anything and everything at all that is positive - my BF, how our life can be if I stop being so negative... the things I want to have and do, the good things I have done in my life, good things I want to still do.... things that make me happy to think about (even listed sex with my guy - it always makes me smile to think about that!!!) and I made a few copies. one is on the computer, one is in my purse and one is in my notebook. every day when I get up and before I go to bed (when all the negativity is the worst of all) I read it. and during the day when I feel like that, I have the one in my purse and I read it everytime I start to feel that way. It sounds silly - but it really helps me - snap out of the bad way of looking at things. sometimes we tend to get stuck on our own head and get lost in the pessimistic views. this really helps show that there is fun and good and joy and happiness. I even put a copy of my favorite joke, and a few of the funny silly things my guy and I have done together that always makes me laugh.....

counselors will not help if you don't like talking to people. I have tried, while it may work for some - it did not work for me plus I could not stand having to pay someone to keep asking me why I think I am that way, that is what I am paying them for right?. My boyfriend gave me the idea of the list by the way - he actually started it for me and gave me the paper.

Answer 2

Ah- I've had to deal with that some. Though not to the extent that you seem to.

Think good thoughts: Patterns of thought are as much a habit as anything else. If it helps, write them down on paper.

If that doesn't work, get to a counselor of some sort. You could be suffering from depression or a similar condition.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Smile at someone! A friendly smile is never unappreciated, and one of the easiest ways to feel good about yourself is by making someone else happy. Give compliments and you'll start getting them back. You'll feel great!

Get a healthy amount of sleep and wake up when you're supposed to. When you have a slow morning, chances are the rest of your day you'll be kind of slow, also.

Stay aware of your emotions and try to understand them and explain them to people. Always be honest about how you really feel, especially to yourself.

Listen to happy music! Make a playlist or CD of songs that always bring a smile to your face and make you realize that everything is okay...

Try to think about things from different points of view. Whenever something bad happens, something good is going to come of it. There's always a positive way to look at everything.



http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/ht/optimisthowto.htm