I'm now starting second year in college... and thinking back - My father has such a terrible view of me - I come from a semi-liberal non-practicing muslim family that still holds up some of the old fasioned values (although very liberal by comparison to others).
My Dad always seemed to think I'm stupid - and he makes it known - It never really bothered me...
When I was in early High School he caught some Porn on my computer (yes... I'm sorry - teenage boy - guilty) and ever since then it seems that he thinks I'm a dirty child molestor or something...
he even keeps me out of the room when my female cousins come over, and he was suspicious when he came and saw a camcorder at my efficiency (which I swear I was not using for anything improper - i mean... lots of people own camcorders).
I keep thinking back to childhood - early childhood was nice, and he was my hero - things started to go downhill as I got older - we used to fight so much - whenever I see him we still do
- thoughts
2007-07-06 17:59:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
and its not like its an indirect view... he just blatently tells me how bad he thinks I am...
2007-07-06 18:00:04 · update #1
you dont need his approval to he happy, let him think whatever of you that pleases him you just go on with your life and never pay attention....btw you dont have to feel guilty for watching porn .
2007-07-07 01:09:25 · answer #1 · answered by Ginie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...really sorry to hear that. If you truly have not done anything that warrants that from your dad (not that anything warrants that) then I think that one of two things are possible.
Perhaps your dad was treated the way he is treating you by HIS dad and isn't even aware he is repeating the pattern of insults. Hurting someone isn't how you get people to change.
Or I wonder if your dad is not PROJECTING his feelings and thoughts onto you and blaming you for the thoughts he has.
Perhaps HE is the one with the dirty mind...thinking bad thoughts...looking at porn etc....and maybe he has a problem that he cannot control or he barely DOES control.
His blaming you and calling you stupid and making you feel ashamed when there is clearly no reason for any of that seems to add up to me that your dad is the problem kiddo and not you.
I know my dad meant well raising us but honestly up until a few years ago when I had to clearly offend him and tell him I would not take his verbal abuse anymore, he constantly laid it on me that I was stupid, stupid, stupid...even though I was an A student in school, worked since I was 11 after school and summers (hey life at home was a bore and a who gave a damn anyhow) so I was happy to just be out of the way.
I think it was hard for my dad, having lost his dad really young and being raised by a tyrant of an older uncle who just used them as child labor...so in many ways it could have been much worse...it was verbal abuse but still...words can hurt as much as physical abuse can too.
I think you have to forgive your dad not for his sake but for YOUR sake so you can move forward but before you can do that, stand up for yourself and tell him you are not going to tolerate those kinds of comments from him anymore.
You just accepting them without resistance is like saying fine, beat me up...you have to put an end to it and just walk out if that is what it takes.
2007-07-07 01:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but have you asked him why he downs you? Are does he not want you to end up like him. You need to just ask him and if he doesn't answer you just say...I got it from you. That what made my uncle talk to his son. I hope things get better.
2007-07-07 01:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is pretty sick. Try to seperate yourself as much as you can from him. Life is too short to spend it worrying about what he thinks of you. Do what interests you and you will be happy even if he is not.
2007-07-07 01:06:22 · answer #4 · answered by Jason K 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sem.s he has problems with you growing up sounds silly dad.s are like that with there son.s scared of loosing them to adult hood. in my opion?
2007-07-07 01:03:53 · answer #5 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋