What do you think of adopting a child that is not your race?

Question

My husband and I always liked the idea of having one of our own biological children and aopting one. I really want to adopt a child from a third world country, like Africa or some place (no, i am not trying to be Angelina Jolie.....)
But tell me... my husband and I are white, so there for we would have a biological white child. Would a non white child feel odd in a white family. Like, misplaced?
I only ask because I knew a black family who adopted a chinese child, and he was always so depressed becuase he was so different.
What do you say?

Answer 1

I say that as long as you keep in mind that there are cultural differences that are visible and allow the child to explore their ethnic roots and even participate in their customs and practices, you should have no problem.
Our resident police officer and his wife adopted two First Nations children. They are both of Scandinavian descent so you know that the colour of skin was even noticeable. They encouraged the children to find their roots and research all they could about it. They participated in Pow-Wows and potlatches, sweat lodges and all experiences that go along with their Native culture. They accepted them for who they were and allowed them to be free enough to know that while they were their parents, they were their support as well. It eased them through their teen angst and neither one suffers an identity crisis. The eldest is in University right now, he is getting a degree in engineering. The girl just graduated Hi-school and has plans on going through Early Childhood Development. I woould have to say that they are more adjusted than some of the other teens who were born into their families around here.
Go for it!! AND Blessings on your choice to give a child of another culture an opportunity to be in the home of a loving and compassionate couple!

Answer 2

It has mostly to do with the parents' attitudes. And the child's individual personality.

But, do be aware that you said: "having one of our OWN biological children, and adopting one". That phrase speaks volumes in my book.

Learn, grow and get educated before you consider exploring adoption, let alone interracial adoption.

For the child's sake.

Join a support group for adoptive parents. And one for transracial families. See the real deal. Experience, talk and share, and listen! Then a year or so from now, after that, you will be able to make an informed decision.

You have to be the leader. And if you are not there, your child cannot be either.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Okey-dokey, the answer depends a lot upon your REASONING. Are you wanting to adopt someone from Africa, etc., because you feel sorry for them? (I think not; just want you to think about all the angles.)
A person with no bias, who is loving, kind, considerate...who can give a good home, won't have a problem. (If you don't tell the children, they won't "know"; they will think that's the way it is.
This is not a good comparison, but Berlitz (yes, the founder of the Berlitz School of Languages) grew up in a family wherein every adult spoke a different language. Despite the modern day view of such things, Berlitz grew up thinking this was "natural", that every family was the same way.
As long as no one makes it an "issue", things will work out.
Of course, some time you will have to give the "facts of life"; (in this case, possibly a different race).

Answer 4

Even though I do not desire to have my own children, ever since I was a little girl I always desired to adopt a little girl from Japan or China.
Now as I have gotten older, I still do not desire to have children of my own, but still the love of adopting a baby little girl from China or Japan dwells in my heart, and I know this is God's will for me to one day do so, even if it does not happen for another ten years.
I actually have spoken with my own parents and what their point of view would be on accepting a daughter who would not be of their race as a grandchild.
There were two "different" views...
1. My mom was thrilled with the idea. She IS hoping I will do this one day...of course I know my mom very well, she doesn't want me to go through life without experiencing life without being a Mother.
2. My Dad is not really against the idea..but he is not "fond" of it. He IS very old fashion in his thinking...Husband+Wife= Having your own kids!

My Views Husband+Wife= You can have kids, or you don't want kids, or you can adopt. Whatever makes you happy.

So either way...I believe it's a great idea to adopt a child that is not of your race. You can give the child so much love, something they may not have. Listen to your heart, not what others think.

Answer 5

It would only be awkward if you make it. My friend was middle eastern and adopted by white Canadians. His whole family were mean to him. Not a lot, just subtly. His mom acts like it's this huge burden (her sacrifice) having a non-white child. They're trying to move and she keeps going on about how they can't live in and all white neighborhood because it's "too hard". He was hanging out with some white neighbor kids and he's worried that if they are seen in public people will think he's a pedophile. He's only 18 BTW.

If you are sure you can get past those types of things I think it's a great thing to do.

Answer 6

I see nothing wrong with it. There are things you have to prepare for if you going to adopt transracial. Like will your family and close friends be accepting of a child that is not the same race as you all? You would also want to encourage your adopted child and even your natural child that diversity is cool, families comes in all shapes, sizes, shades.

You'd want to make sure your child has access to children that are the same color as them; this can be accomplished best if you live in or are willing to move to a diverse area. Even if you don’t you can typical find some sort of group close to you, you might try meetup.com or just do some research.

Of course you’d have to deal with helping your child to be able to deal with Racism which your, husband and natural child are likely not to experience at least not as much. Because whatever anyone says there are racist’s in all races. Of course depending on the age of your adopted child you probably wouldn’t have to touch on that for a few years. There are books that can help you. That is also why its important not only for your Transraical adopted child to have friends that are the same color as him (or her) but also good for you and husband to be friends with adults who are the same race as your child. That way if your child ever felt he couldn’t talk to you about something the child would have someone they might feel more comfortable talking to. Or you could even talk to this parents and they could advice you on things.

Answer 7

There are hundreds of families who have done it and done it succesfully. There are a few things you can do to make it easier for the child:
Teach the whole family to be tolerant of others.
Don't deny that the child looks different, but don't make a huge issue out of it either. They look different because a different mommy carried them in her tummy.
Make sure that they have access to some adult friends of the same race as themselves, this will allow them access to their historical culture.
Some people also find that it helps to adopt another child later that is the same ethnicity that way the child isn't the odd man out.

Answer 8

Read the book "raising a child like me" and you will learn how important it is for a child of color to have other children they can relate to racially. If your adopted child is to be the only non caucasian child in the family they may develop some insecurities.

Two of the myths expelled in that book are "love is enough" and "color of skin does not matter".

I learned a lot from reading that book.

Something else I suggest is seeking guidance from transracially adopted adults who were the only non caucasian in their immediate family. Ask them how they felt. They can give you great advice.

My family is transracial and my best guidance has been from transracially adopted adults.


Would you consider adopting two non caucasian children? From what I have read it would be a very different situation than that of one non caucasian child in the family.

Answer 9

As an inner city "white" teacher who has loved deeply her African American students and been loved back I say find that child to add to your family. Kids thrive with routines, love, traditions and support. You are going to offer that. Look at all the children who are considered "Black" but have white mothers who thrive. I think it is foolish to dismiss color and say it doesn't matter for children of color do have an identity that often whites don't understand. But you are going to love and support this child, this child will understand early they are loved and wanted and frankly, I think as far as adoption is concerned, Angelina Jolie has done a wonderful job of educating people.
Good luck!

Answer 10

All children deserve a loving family and loving home. If you teach your children and your family that "being different" is okay, you are teaching tolerance which is a wonderful gift. I once heard of an adoptive family who had children of different races and they taught their children that everyone is the same color on the palms of their hands and in their hearts! I thought that was a nice way to explain things.
Good luck to you.