My girlfriend is acting like a complete freak with this wedding stuff, I don't think I want to get married now

Question

I can't imagine being married to this controlling, freak-a-zoid, tweaked out person planning my wedding. Should I end it now or wait til she calmes down some?

Answer 1

no, you should wait until the rehearsal dinner then announce the fact that your gay. oh, well that is if her parents are covering the bill for dinner.

Answer 2

I suppose it depends on how solid the r'ship was BEFORE the crazy wedding planning began. Some women get so caught up in creating the perfect wedding that they forget what the wedding is supposed to be about in the first place! They start thinking "this is MY day" instead of "this is a day about us both." I think it's a HUGE red flag if a woman is acting completely selfish when it comes to planning the wedding. The wedding is NOT about her - it's about celebrating you both and the love you have for one another. If she acts like she could care less about what you want, that's not a good sign.

While weddings can sometimes make otherwise nice women act insane, I would say this is the kind of reaction you can expect when she's under immense stress in the future. I'm just saying that even though this may not be normal for her, be aware that you may see the insane side of her again in other stressful situations.

Answer 3

Damn tough question. You don't want to be a jerk and call of your own wedding because she's out of control voer the thing, but then again is this a view into her real character? And who the hell wants to come on here and answer your question? If i say drop your plans with her I'll be recommending something to you the very suggestion of which could influence your life and hers and other people's. Thenh again if I say stick with it and it goes sour starting right now, then it's good for nobody again. So answering this question sucks either way.

But I'll be bold.

Is this current behavior of hers something you can learn to live with? Do not act on the idea that it's only during the wedding planning, and will never happen again. Maybe, but maybe not, you know? If it turns your stomach now...oh boy wait 'til later.

Or, is this behavior that down the road you come around to thinking is endearing, or at least totally over lookable?

Can you find her sexually attractive while she is in this state of mind? If not, then will you find her sexually attractice if and when she gets our of this state of mind?

Don't forget, this is buildup to your wedding. If you can't stand the way she is now, this terminates in your wedding, so you will have no time to see whether she will go back to normal, or what change will be next, until after you're married. She could go back to normal, or she could stay the same, or she could come up with a third character. The questions are, how much do you love this woman, how much do you want to spend a very long time living with her, and do you still find her sexually attractive even though you say "I can't imagine being married...."

If you have real doubts that could carry on through into your marriage, then maybe it's better to be the "afraid to make a commitment" jerk who backed out early, before the backing out turns into a legal and child support matter.

Best,
TQRP

Answer 4

Is she controlling the wedding planning or you too? If it is just the wedding it is because she wants it to be perfect. I really don't understand bridezillas because nothing would get me that freaked out, but I'm a very laid back person who doesn't care if things are perfect. If she is being bossy and controlling to you and any suggestions you make, then you need to talk to her and let her know you do not like this side of her and are wondering if this is what she is really like. Also inform her that this is your wedding too and you should have input. Don't do anything without talking to her first.

Answer 5

How much do you love her? Remember that whole for better or worse kind of thing. If you don't think your going to mean it when you say your vows you better end it for her sake not yours. The other question is if she has ever acted like this before with something else. If not then more than likely it will pass.It is a special day for her and she probably hopes it will be the only one so she wants to make it special. If your worrying about this and asking that sort of question then you may not be prepared for marriage. There are going to be times where your going to have to deal with one another and it is only the beginning. All in all the real question is how much do you love her and is it enough to stay. Only you can answer that one.

Answer 6

If you like her outside this wedding thing, give her a choice. Elope and go back to the normal woman you loved, or break it off until you both have better control, or tell her the truth, you want to move on, because this wedding thing and the way it's gotten her isn't the thing you planned for your married life.

Answer 7

let's put this in perspective. You are forced to put together a huge party on which all of your friends, relatives and future relatives will judge you on. On a budget. With limited amount of time. Plus, you're worrying about how you'll look, and weither uncle fester's going to be drunk... You have to plan for the fact aunt Janet and Uncle Cleetis hate each other's guts, oh and your dress will be 3 months late... Oh yea and you have to work 40 hours a week, and spend time with you know who... would you be just a hair frazzled? Oh I think so. Best advice: ask if she wants to hire a planner. It will take a load of stress off of her. But to really answer your question, if this is the only time she's displayed this tendancy, then chill, there are extenuating cercumstances, if not, well I guess the blinders are off.

Answer 8

Weddings can cause a lot of stress, specially on women. All a guy needs at a wedding is $110 for a tuxedo, and most of the times it's a rental that comes pressed and the shoes come shined, so even that is taken care off. All we want is a nice piece of steak or chicken at the reception, dance the night away at the reception and have a fun honeymoon.

Women think about the flowers, caterers, decorations, guests, clothing, service, invitations, location, honeymoon hotel and reservations, their dress, hair, makeup, rings, church, pastor or priest, red, white, black, yellow, gold, chocolate, gifts, centerpieces... man... it's like the list of events at the Olympics.

Talk to her and try to sympathize with her. See if she needs help with anything and try taking a little load off her shoulders. If she keeds it up definitely tell her it's making you uncomfortable. She can't go crazy planning the perfect wedding without realizing it might be affecting the wedding.

Answer 9

If you end it now, you could be ending a true love ( which is very hard to find).
She is just trying to make that special day perfect!
I know it sounds like I'm siding w/ her, but her intentions are grand. She has this perfect day in her mind.....celebrating an intimate day w/ the love of her life!
Now...I know how you feel ....this chic is off her rocker w/ everything so perfect & nothing out of place, & you be here such & such time or else...., but she just wants your marriage to start off with a perfect start. Women get rolled up itno the whole "wedding" thing way too much, but she has really great intentions! Remember, she's been thinking about this since she was a little girl.
However, you're a guy & think it's so non-sensical. It is for you, but it's truly more about her than you. You love her.....bare w/ it, if you don't....call it off now!!

Answer 10

As a man we could probably just go to the justice of the peace and say I do and that would be OK. For women marriage is something they dream about from childhood. It's a fantasy come true. They have been planning this day for most of their lives. They want it to be perfect. They want to be able to take pictures and show off to their friends.

Give that to her.

Her dad is suppose to pay for it so it doesn't cost anything. Get involved yet kind of sit back and watch her while she is doing it and you'll learn more about your wife.

If she is that worked up about it then that is a good sign. She cares about you.

Answer 11

my fiance, just decided this.
I f-ed up and was never a crazy person before I was asked to be his wife with a couple of carats.

sit her down. neutral location and sober, and tell her how you feel. if it is just about the planning, tell her that. if you really don't want to be with her, then be sure to think seriously first.

ask her to relax and take some time before planning, and tell her you want to be involved (only if you do) with the planning if it will take her down a notch or two.

remind her it is only a day, and the marriage is the important part.

My fi didn't tell me anything until after he called it off, and I feel terrible and both of us are heartbroken and trying to sort through a big mess now.

Good Luck