I think that my depression comes from not doing what society dooes?

Question

e.g. having kids at the age of you know 24 or 25. Work is ok but every time the weekend comes around I wake up feeling alone and depressed. My mum said that to have kids you have to have them for the right reason, altho alot of people fall pregnant unexpectantly. I know other people do other things and don't have to fall into the mould, but i seem to feel having kids is what I should be doing.or is it something else. I don't know how much longer I will survive.

Answer 1

Feeling this way, having kids is the last thing you should do. Since you are depressed to start with, that will most likely throw you into a worse one. Kids aren't there to make you feel better. You have to be healthy going into parenthood. Get some professional help, that would be a good start.

Answer 2

Having kids is not a cure for depression. You should get counseling or therapy. Imagine how bad you'd feel if you were depressed AND had to tend to kids and teach them how to be in the world when you feel so crappy you can't figure out why YOU'RE here. The good news is you can get help and learn more about yourself and your condition and become happier and more balanced.

It's getting more rare for people to have kids at your age. You may be depressed because you haven't yet discovered what makes you happy, but don't bring kids into that sadness. Get yourself in a better place first. You have plenty of time.

Answer 3

You should ask yourself and honestly answer whether you want to have a child to experience motherhood and help a new life grow, or b/c you want to fit in with society/friends. Some people want children b/c of the attention it brings to themselves. But it sounds to me like you have a strong desire to be a mother and you value the gifts you give from being one. The fact that you discussed it with your own mum shows that you value the position. I am much happier being a mother than I ever was working. You could always try volunteering in a local hospital neonatal icu where they sometimes need persons just to rock newborns with health problems, or find another child centered group or preschool to volunteer or work at. I love children and the hope that they represent to our world, so maybe more contact with them is what you're after.
Best wishes....

Answer 4

Listen why do you agonize over something that does not bring any benefit to you. Instead, go out and live your life. Society or family can say what they want, it is still your life and you are living it. Are you telling yr mom or society how they shd live their lives. Don't focus on it. Is it about having kids? or is it about doing what you choose to wt yr life.

As a mother , ultimately I can tell you, we become a mother because we want to hv children, never forced. Then only yr can love yr kids unconditionally.

Dont give energy to thoughts they dont bring any benefits but instead manifest that you want. Find a boyfriend who is worthy to marry and hv children with

Answer 5

Each child is a Gift from God. Some are surprises, and others were wished for ahead of time - but each one is still a marvelous gift.

Ignore what your mom said.

Learn to treasure the special moments with each child at each age. I liked to write down the new things they would do or say. On the toughest days, for me emotionally, I would hold them in my lap or hug them, and my purpose for life returned.

Answer 6

The title of your post makes you smarter than most professionals. When we struggle between a common path and our own new path, we have to spend energy looking in both directions until we finally pick one. Most people get worn out and surrender to common goals.
I hope you will want to have children one day, when you really want to. Til then focus on your own depth, not on society's shallowness.