5 years ago, things were very different in my life. I had no job, no money, nothing. Any money I could get my hands on would go on booze or drugs - I'd sit with a few old friends in a brick shed every night getting hammered in some way until I was virtually unconscious. It all sounds pathetic, but some of the most memorable times I've had were in and around that shed, with those people.
5 years on things have changed - I'm where I imagined I'd never be. I have a great job, a salary most people 10 years my senior would be happy to take, a great girlfriend, a flash car, own a nice house etc. etc.
The thing is, I'm scared I've become boring. Life 5 years ago was not productive, but it was exciting. Now I'm just bored. I'm 22, but feel about 35. I'm sensible.
This depresses me. Is this odd?
2007-07-06 12:43:45 · 12 answers · asked by jonnyjpa 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Actually Taganan, yes, one of them is dead - a terrible waste if you ask me. The others, well, they're not doing so well, 'professionally' anyway.
What made me post the question was the fact I seem to have sacrificed the personal elements of my life for material ones. I have lots of money now, but no longer the time and energy to do the things I used to.
I live away from home now and don't have the companionship I used to either.
2007-07-06 13:31:55 · update #1
No, but that is an interesting story.
It bears out the theory that positive changes can also have negative impacts.
D'you keep in contact with your old mates?
2007-07-06 12:46:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Odd? No, it isn't. You are 22 and you have already been through so much. Firstly, well done to getting out of the situation you were in with drink and drugs, I know how hard that is to do. I can understand well how the most memorable times were during that period, in and around that shed. But it was then. You do have a lot going for you now, and maybe the changes you have gone through over the last five years have happened too quickly for your mind to work through it all and catch up. At 22 you are still pretty young emotionally (not you personally, people in general). Young in the sense that you are still learning so much, and still trying new things. The very fact that you feel sensible when your youth is telling you not to be suggests that you have the responsibilities and lifestyles of someone much older. Someone who has had the time to get to grips with it all on an emotional level, which you have not yet had the chance to do.
Seeing as you have a good salary, I would invest some of it in a few private sessions of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It works very quickly and gets you to change the way your thought patterns affect your emotions.
If you do not fancy that, perhaps you are a bit of a thrill seeker, maybe you could try and extreme sport, or treat you and your girlfriend to some special things to do. Be it holidays or days out to an adventure park, or taking up an extreme sport.
I went through pretty much what you are going through some years ago, the drugs, the "shed", then the house, the husband and the flash car. At similar ages to you. I got depressed, I didn't deal with it, and it got so bad that it affected my health to the point that I couldn't work and lost the whole lot.
The cognitive behavioural therapy saved me. As well as my faith in Jesus. Six sessions was all it took and I havent been depressed since. I do not know if I will ever get the salary, car and house back, but that's okay, because I am not depressed any more and that is worth more than anything. Please deal with your depression before it takes all you have. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-07-06 13:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by Tefi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Engaging in risky behaviour, partying with buddies, not knowing if there was going to be a tomorrow only seems exciting when you look back and only see the good times. Look back at all the hangovers, headaches, vomiting, feeling useless, scrounging for every penny. Where are those buddies now, dead or still scrounging and getting hammered on booze and drugs?
All you did was mature, grow up, become an adult and leave your childish things behind. I would guess that you also work long hours, care about your girlfriend [perhaps love her?] and spend a lot of time taking care of your house. You need to find a hobby, a something to do that is healthy and enjoyable. It doesn't have to be dangerous to be exciting. It should be something you are enthused about and if possible involve your girlfriend.
Boating, Kart racing, riding horses, hang gliding, building custom cars, model planes or railroads, having cookouts for groups of friends, travelling, the list is endless, but you need to choose an interest. that will get you out of the past. Definitely do not try to become a teenage ne'er-do-well again.
2007-07-06 13:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by Taganan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you think you are boring because you don't use drugs anymore. Doing drugs does not make you exciting...it eventually leads down a path of self-destruction.
There are other ways to find excitement in life...some people are just naturally "sensation seekers," which is not necessarily a good thing. Try to find other things that are exciting/interesting to you.
Why were you using drugs back then? To make yourself feel better or just to get high? Things to think about...
And when you get to be 35, you are going to discover that being 35 is not old....When I was 21, I thought 30 was old. Now that I am in early 30s, well, 100 seems old. Your perspectives change as you grow older.
2007-07-06 12:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyes 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What sort of job do you do? For me, I have a job working overnight in a young persons' hostel, and it can be challenging, compared to the office jobs I had in the NHS.
Yet, despite friends saying "how can you work nights, how can you deal with poeple like that etc?" I'm reasonably happy.
Maybe it's human contact and working with real people, not computers, reports, and bits of paper that has made the difference.
Appreciate what you have got. Maybe you could get a job working with drug users, homeless people or something like that.
2007-07-06 13:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by Zheia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO its not odd, I know how you feel. I'm 22 going on 35 myself ! I have everything i could ever want but I get board. Its normal to want to not be so sensible all the time!
2007-07-09 04:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by sarah-jane B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just proves a point money is not everything, try & get in touch with some of your old mates, and give them a we treat probably make you feel better and I bet they will be thankful aswell, Chin up
2007-07-07 03:36:30 · answer #7 · answered by Janet C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda cos what you say you have is all i want but i understand your feeling like the life you had did have an upside cos it was exciting but would you really wanna go back there and lose everything you have?
i think all you need is to have some fun and maybe take up something like an extreme sport cos you need an adrenaline fix.
2007-07-06 12:48:45 · answer #8 · answered by che 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not odd at all. There are a lot of people who feel the same.
Try volunteering on a nature reserve.
2007-07-06 12:48:30 · answer #9 · answered by caldini 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
gee life get better for u what is better then that. try go out and do an activity or go join a gym
2007-07-06 12:51:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋