Why do I get made fun of?!?

Question

I'm a very shy and quiet person. If I don't know you I'm not just gonna start a conversation. Normally when I go somewhere like with a friend(for example)and I get introduced to new people I have nothing to say. I just sit there until they talk to me. People are always saying "you don't say much do you." Why point out my faults! I can't help it that I'm not like most people and all I do is talk about myself and bump my gums about nonsense. I have no idea what to say to people that I just met and don't know a thing about. I hate being a damn wallflower.

Answer 1

Quiet girls are sexy.

Answer 2

Some people are uncomfortable with the "strong, silent type". If a group is talking and you are quiet, people will wonder why. HOw come everyone has something to say, but you don't?, they may wonder.

If you sit there without contribution to the conversation, it may give some a feeling of distrust in you, since you are just absorbing everything and not giving back.

It isn't a fault, per se, but it is an element to work on for the future. What I sometimes do is take a quick look at the internet news before going out. This will give me a thumbnail description of the top news stories in a condensed form. then, when I get to where I am going, I ask someone if they know anymore about.......then, I share a few notes about that news item to get the ball rolling.

You don't have to monopolize the conversation, just contribute a few headlines to start it off. NOw you look like a person with serious intelligence and something worth listening to in a group setting.

Sprinkle a light hearted story to keep them interested in you later. At that point, nobody can help but to invite you over and probably invite you first!

Answer 3

I am the same way. I get accused of being stuck up alot. It takes me awhile to get comfortable around someone to the point of being myself. I also loathe idle small talk for the sake of small talk, I find it to be a pointless waste of time. I am just a quiet person by nature and generally never start the conversation. You don't say how old you but I'm 26 and it has gotten easier as I have gotten older. I still do not like large crowds of people where I don't know many others. I found that starting with smaller groups two or three people was helpful. Let them lead the conversation and eventually it will get easier.

Answer 4

Oh my! So you feel like a wallflower? This is not a good way to look at yourself. I know, been there!

Look, I understand what it is to be shy and wordless to those I do not know! I was the same way when I was younger! What was even worse for me,was if anyone complimented me! I felt awkward and did not know how to respond. It was usually with a very quiet, "thank you."

Looking back, I can tell you that only you can change this! For me, I decided that I was tired of being caught in situations where I just wanted to fade away! So, I decided to go through multiple scenarios and correct the way I would normally react or, behave. I thought about how I would react when complimented, when I was around strangers and needed to "mingle" and I thought about how I clam up instead of joining in!

This all worked for me as I was well rehearsed as to handle any uncomfortable situation which may arise. It was the only way for me to break out of that "shell" I had created from my shyness!

I do not know if this will work for you but, I think you should give it a try! I wish you the best of luck with this and total success!

Answer 5

Not to sound all cheesy and fatherly but people always make fun of anyone/thing different than themselves so my best advice is try to find someone like yourself and if you don't want to be a "wallflower" just start talking with the oldest subject in the book "pretty good weather wouldn't you say?" well hope it works out.

Answer 6

It can be intimidating meeting new people. When I don't know what to say, I start asking questions about the person/people. People generally love to talk about themselves. This can also help you spark a commonality between the two of you so you have more topics to talk about.

I use to be pretty shy and would get made fun of as well. What I did was put myself in positions where I had to be outgoing. I worked at summer camps and surronded myself with outgoing people so I could learn how to be that way - or at least comfortable speaking to people. I am still not insanely outgoing but it definately helped.

Answer 7

I was the same way for the longest time! It sucked! But finally I was like, You know what? If they don't like what I have to say, then I'm hanging out w/ the wrong crowd anyway! Just be yourself and tell them about something funny that happend to you the other day, that will get them talking. Chances are, whatever you have to say won't be picked at. Be yourself, you do it best!

Answer 8

I know how you feel, i am exactly the same way and people say the same thing to me. they also say "you're so quiet all the time!" the only advice i can give ya is make small talk, weather, local news (stars etc) ask questions about that person... ie the clothes they are wearing (I like that dress, where did you buy it?) people will talk for hours about themselves! good luck :)

Answer 9

Sounds like you lack self esteem. People aren't pointing out your faults to be mean when they meet you, they are probably trying to make conversation themselves. If you don't want to talk then you wont, but if you really want to get out of this funk, try asking questions. I don't think that is nonsensical when you meet someone to talk about yourself. If you dont want to be like most people and talk about yourself ask questions about other people. But when people meet, they try to get to know eachother, thus they speak about themselves. You will have alot more to talk about with people you just met when you ask questions and talk about yourself. You compare your personalities to see if the conversation will lead to a friendship. Thats how it works.

Answer 10

Relax, being quiet is not a fault, infact it is downright refreshing. Just be yourself, I am sure that if you have something to day you will say it. Till then the rest of the room will chatter on and make fools of themselves while you sit back and take notes...that is not all bad.

Answer 11

Start reading the daily paper. There are always little silly items that you can bring up. Don't shy away from social events. It gets easier the more you go.

-MM