She treats me very nice & is a shoulder to cry on when I need somebody. & she doesn't misuse or take advantage of me, but because when her boyfriend comes over & eats my food & calls me names & misuses me & humiliates me because he's jealous because he wants more of her attention, my case manager said that makes HER not a good friend. I don't want to lose my friend because of what my case manager misinterpreted. How can I politely tell my friend not to let her jerk boyfriend over?
2007-07-06 10:51:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
She is not a bad friend. She is in a bad relationship (IMO) and needs you more than ever.
Tell her that you don't care for the way her bf treats you. Tell her that you love her but will not allow yourself to be treated that way. Let her know you still want to be her friend but perhaps she could keep you and her boyfriend apart.
Your case manager sounds like a meddlesome old (or young) biddy.
2007-07-06 11:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man who would abuse or be rude to someone's friends is a controlling, manipulative jerk. Your "friend" is not a true friend if she stands by and lets this happen to you. Sorry, but your case manager has a POINT. Your "friend" is in for a LOT of grief with this guy. Thank God he's not YOUR boyfriend!
2007-07-06 20:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Vajranagini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you and your friend roommates? If yes, then you have some ticklish issues to iron out. If not, tell him he is not welcome & when he comes over call the Police to boot him out. If you are roommates, you need to let your friend know that this is how he is treating you and while you respect her right to have him as her boyfriend, you have the right to NOT be treated this way and is there anyway for the three of you to sit down and try to work this out. Good luck.
2007-07-06 18:16:42 · answer #3 · answered by Julia B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is intimidated by her boyfriend, or she's oblivious to his insults and affronts to you.
Either way, you don't have to be intimidated by him (well, unless he's an insane low-life type who might go ballistic on you). Just politely explain to him that he's welcome to accompany her when she visits, but that you don't want to be subject to his negative, snide, etc., comments.
If it continues, or if they don't visit anymore, then you have your answer about how solid the friendship is. You can always stay in contact with her, and who knows, maybe he'll start verbally abusing her and she'll dump him.
2007-07-06 18:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by HyperDog 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't judge her by his actions--he's an azz.
I'd tell her that he is hurtful and annoying.
See what she says, I mean if she's been a friend to cry on and all that she will be sympathetic.
If not, I don't know what you should do but disregard his childish ways.
2007-07-06 18:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by poison_angel32 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with James. If you share the place tell her how you don't appreciate his behavior. If she's a good friend she'll take your opinion into account. If not then don't spend time with her when he is around. If/ when she misses you she'll make time for you and you alone with out him.
2007-07-06 18:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by Feather 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only problem here is the idiot boyfriend who needs to be knocked down a few pegs!
2007-07-06 18:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it's your place, you should control who is there, so tell her she can't invite him.
If it's her place, she controls who is there, so you have no say in the matter.
2007-07-06 17:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boot that sucka when he comes over.
2007-07-06 17:59:20 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋