I have two kids that are adults. Girl is 23 and boy is 21. Both are high school drop outs. Both are not working, nor are they helping out around the house. I do all the cooking, cleaning and paying the bills. My hubby works all the time. My daughter that is 23 is very mouthy and causes problems with my hubby and myself. She does havea boyfriend of two years now. He does not like us and he believes everything my daughter tells him. What do you think we should do about our kids?
2007-07-06 08:45:44 · 18 answers · asked by april79_2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Make them get jobs or their out! They're too old to be living off of their parents. Their not little kids anymore...their adults and need to start acting like ones.
They need some tough love...
2007-07-06 09:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by sarita0611 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your kids were motivated, studious, hard working and polite, I'd say support them with all your might.
However, if they are as you say they are - spoiled brats, then check with a good lawyer and get the facts about eviction. For example, you may need to have them served with proper eviction notices - as from the Sheriff - etc. This may mean dealing with them for the next 30, 60 or 90 days - depending on what the local laws are.
Then, have the papers legally served - and on the appointed day, put their belongings out on the sidewalk and change the locks. You may need the police there to ensure that these parasites don't become violent or abusive.
Again, change the locks right away - even as their belongings are being removed.
this isn't a fun thing to do - but with parasites - what else is there.
2007-07-06 08:58:16 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer already. Make them get a job so they can move out or just kick them out. You DO NOT have to take care of them anymore. They're ADULTS. I mean i'm 23 have my own place with my bf. I make more than him & I take care of my daughter & my mom. I know you might feel bad if you do that, but believe you'll be doing them a favor by making them get a job. You will help them do something with their lives and become productive citizens intead of letting them become bums and low lifes. (sorry for the harsh words but its true). they need to do something with their lifes.
2007-07-06 09:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boot their sorry hind ends out. If they were teenagers, I'd tell you to quit doing everything for them and MAKE those kids earn their keep around the house. Being you have done everything for them, they are now big brats with no respect for you. Start teaching young parents why it's such a good idea to spank your kids when needed.
2007-07-06 12:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the whole point of raising a child is to help them be on their own. i think you should talk to your kids about moving out and getting a job. tell them what their future will be like living and not living with you. tell them their time is up and they have been staying at home to long. but what ever you do keep your voice level down and stay calm. you are the parent and you need to say "no" some times no matter how hard it my be. they wont learn unless you teach them.
2007-07-06 09:06:08 · answer #5 · answered by Tsuki kayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is definately time for them to get out!!! It would be one thing if they were contributing to the household or even making moves to have a successful future like going to college. What's going to happen if your daughter gets pregnant by this boyfriend? She's not even taking care of herself. I hate to say it mom...but you and your husband are enablers. It's time for these young adults take responsibilty for their lives.
Put them out, and then when you put them out...let them do it alone. They have been dependant on you and your husband so long, that even after they are gone they will be expecting for you guys to take care of them when they are irresponsible.
It will be hard, and they probably won't like you for awhile, but part of everything we do as a parent is done to prepare them to be able to get out in the world and take care of themselves when they become adults, then they take the tools that we have given them along with their life experiences, and choices and pass that down to their children. What are your children gaining by staying at home with you and your husband?
Put them out. Tough love momma, tough love! I know it's hard but they will never be able to succeed if they are still in the nest.
2007-07-06 09:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by darknangelic77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick them out on their ***! allowing them to stay at home and do nothing is not teaching them in anyway how to become responsible adults. If they won't leave, I'd sell the house from under them, move and not leave a forwarding address. You and your husband are simply being used and abused by your own children.
2007-07-06 09:08:13 · answer #7 · answered by buggsnme2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please please please, kick them out and make them fend for themselves. You can give them an option of staying, but only if they pay rent and help out around the house. All you are doing is enabling their lazy behavior. I have a close friend in this exact same situation and it is only getting worse. You can't let them take advantage like that. Not only does it make your life more difficult, but it only hurts them in the long run. They will never be able to be self-sufficient human beings if they never have any responsibilities.
2007-07-06 09:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by FebJoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents gave us kids two choices after high school:
1) Got to college
2) Get a job and pay rent
It was black and white, one or the other, no free rides.
We all went to college!
2007-07-06 08:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation. I'm sensing that you don't want your kids to leave the house so you don't have an empty nest. If your children don't have the decency to respect you and your husband, make them pack their bags up and leave!
2007-07-06 08:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by Magnificent Bliss Rocks! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋