So I recently found out that my fiance lied to me twice in the last couple of weeks. Both times she promised she wouldn't do something, but did it anyway.
I told her how I felt and that it bothered me, but what should I be expecting to happen? How can I get over it? She pretty much just tried to turn the whole thing around on me.
2007-07-06 08:22:36 · 44 answers · asked by John 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok. First time she promised that when she hung out with her friend, she wouldn't do a certain drug. She did it anyway. The second time, she promised she wouldn't again, but did anyway.
2007-07-06 08:41:04 · update #1
IF SHE DOES DRUGS BREAK UP WITH HER!
2007-07-14 08:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by Cherry M. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is actually a tough question to answer. First of all, what did your fiance do? If it's something like don't talk to someone than you shouldn't be mad because you shouldn't really tell a person what to do and control them. If it's something bad like quit smoking then talk to her that you are trying to help her. I don't really know what advice I can give you in this kind of situation. Since you guys are going to get married, you have to have trust in each other and tell each other everything, but it's going to be hard for you since she already lied. Tell her that if she really loves you and if she wants to be with you, then she has to be 100% honest. You can't have a marriage full of lies. So this is how I can best answer your two questions in your second paragraph:
1.) You should probably expect that your marriage will not be very truthful. Since your fiance has lied to you MORE than once in ONE week then she will probably do it even more. I don't think your marriage will last very long.
2.) You can't really get over being lied to and hurt by someone you love. It's like they're putting a nail into you. The nail hurts always until they apoligize and take it out, but there's still a hole left.
I hope I helped. The best thing I can say is . . . stick to it. Try to make the best of the situation and just see what happens. If your marriage doesn't end up very well then remember, it wasn't meant to be. Good luck! =)
2007-07-06 08:36:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cooℓ Smιℓεys :D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, that's not a good thing. Maybe you two need to work on your communication more. When the other lies, it means the other is not being understanding, that's why a person lies anyway, b/c they are afraid of confrontation & afraid of not being understood. You two need to be more open, if your having problems & your not even married yet, then I would suggest you hold off on getting married until you two fix your communication. Lying should not be tolerated but there's always a solution to things & a person can change for the better as long as you two can find a common ground, be more open & up front with each other, then you will be fine.
2007-07-06 08:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I need to know how old you are before answering, sounds like you are still a teenager. If you are, then what are you even doing thinking about marriage? If you were smart, you wouldn't even think about marriage, or even having a girlfriend till you are on your way to a good career, are making money, etc. And if you were even smarter, you would never get married at all. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce, and if you have any kids you will be paying child support for the next 18 YEARS! Just go out and date and have fun while you are young, don't get tied down to one girl .
2007-07-06 08:48:23 · answer #4 · answered by Answer Guy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you need to think about what you want from your marriage and what you value. There are at least two big issues here: The first is (obviously) is related to trust. The second is related to what you can handle as far as drug use is concerned.
If you plan to have children, you probably need to think about what this kind of behavior could mean for them.
I don't know you or your situation (I'm just thinking out loud here), but it seems like you need to have a good long talk about all of this...
Good luck with everything.
2007-07-14 08:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by fyi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really wanna make the mistake of marrying a girl that lies to you and does drugs? There are so many nice girls out there and some how this is the one you have chosen. Hmmmm Do you do drugs as well? I think your judgement is clouded and it could be drug induced. If you marry her then please don't come back here whining and complaining because the house is a mess, the kids are not fed and she's passed out.
2007-07-14 06:58:34 · answer #6 · answered by Cutie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there should be any lies at all. Sure, if she is planning a surprise birthday party for you, and she tells you that she is taking you out for dinner, you arrive home and there is the party is one thing.
Lying to cover up, hide, conceal, or to keep you from getting upset about something is wrong, and if she has done it twice, that you know of, how many more times will it happen?
I would be cautious.
Good luck!
2007-07-06 08:27:18 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ ♥Be Happi♥ ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what she did. If it was something like eating the last cupcake, then I would say, get over it. If it was something like doing drugs or doing another guy, then I would sit her down and let her know that the next time it happens it is over. A relationship can not survive without trust and communication.
2007-07-06 08:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by elb366 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has a problem....Do u really want to hitch ur star to someone with a drug problem?! Of course she didn't keep her promise, that would require her to change her ways. She can only change if SHE wants to...not because u want her to...I would really re-evaluate my relationship with her and give it some serious thought....I advise u not to go thru with the wedding...she has a problem which can get worse...I wouldn't want to be with someone like that, let alone build a life and family with someone who can't kick the habit.
2007-07-14 05:24:48 · answer #9 · answered by mrsprincess07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because he didn't want to freak you out by telling you they dated (I assume you mean slept together). Thing is, she's history - why bother getting all bent out of shape over her. You sound like you're really insecure. I'd really watch that if I were you - your fiance is liable to dump you for being a controlling so-n-so who freaks out at the least little thing. Or, if you doubt his word on this, you probably doubt his word on other things. Why the heck, then, are you marrying him?
2016-05-19 23:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see your fiance can't be trusted, so she put all her wrong doing on you, to clear herself. If you know she is taking drugs, that why she behavior in that manner. People who is known to take drugs constantly lies. If you are planning to marriage her in the near future, you better may sure she gets herself together, because you are setting yourself up for a fail marriage. Good Luck
2007-07-14 06:24:30 · answer #11 · answered by carlos r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋